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KG
How To Pack Your Bug Out Bag
How To Pack Your Bug Out Bag

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People here I know are putting together a party for the sweet 16, Friday night. They call me to ask if I know what time the game is...do I get invited? No. Cuz I'm single, and they are all married.

 

I go out, and all I hear is " are we grilling tonight, or going out?" "Are we going to such and such?" Everyone I know has a S/O...I don't.

 

All of them have kids grown, college, or married. They have so much more freedom...

 

And night after night, I'm crawling through Match...nothing.

 

Then I get home from the library, message from A the nurse, cancelling on Wednesday pool game, has to cover a shift for her friend, who has the flu!

 

I got dealt a hand from the bottom of the deck, and it's not looking too good for the future. Why can't I have someone? To cook for, to cuddle with, to go out with? Is this my life from now on? and I miss K soo bad right now.

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Oh my gosh, I am so sorry. I can't believe how rude your friend(s) were to call you to find out about game times and then not invite you to the party because you are single. I don't even know you and that makes me mad on your behalf.

 

Maybe concentrate less on link removed and more on finding some friends to do stuff with? It's hard, I know. (hugs)

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Don't give up hope. Sometimes whe find ourselves in these ruts. Just stick to you hobbies or other things you love to do to keep your mind off of being in a relationship. You don't want it to become a "hunt" for the one, but just continue to treat it causually.

 

That is dissapointing about your freinds. If you feel this way then I think it would be a good idea to let them know you feel left out.

 

Stay strong.

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love yourself KG- just love yourself.

 

I'm trying, but then these things happen, and set me back!

 

None of my friends are single, they have no clue. None are widowers...I think I make them uncomfortable.

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i understand what it feels like to be hurting... i really do.

 

but its times like this that you ask your wife for strength ... and to send her love to you...

 

its normal to feel what you are feeling- even people who haven't lost someone knows what it feels like to want someone in their life.

 

Be happy with what you have... a beautiful life.

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I'm sorry KG... that must really be rough and frustrating to feel like no one understands. Have you tried some sort of a support group, as a way to meet others who DO understand? I really have a feeling that everything is going to work out for you in the end, and that there is someone out there for you, just like how you found your wife.

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I find going out to a bar by myself is much easier when a game I'm interested is on.

 

Just an idea. Start rooting for Syracuse or whomever(even if you dont like the team), someone might come up to you and be a fan as well. Common interests are obviously a convo igniter.

 

I dont know, just an idea. I come accross the same problems as well.

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Considering that I'm raised in south Asian culture, you may or may not find my advice useful. I hope you take it in right spirit and not get offended by my advice. I'm not trying to put you down by any means.

I hear you. Is it possible for you to get to know women through link removed? through friends' referrals, etc.? Are you getting out of your home and visiting libraries, parks, museums, etc? Are you physically fit? if you are, great! join some adventure activities, if you are not, try getting into a good shape. Are you holding out for "the one" "the perfect one"? (may be its time to sit down and revisit the wants-list.)

Yes, what your friends do is certainly wrong. If you call them friends they shouldn't be behaving this way. May be find a new friend-circle. But let me share with you what my mom said to me other day "Everyone moves on and builds their own nest. Your friends, your real siblings, everyone. and once they have their own kids, life catches up. They don't have time to turn around and pause and ask you if you need anything, if you are feeling lonely. So, know where to stop and say, most of my non-negotiables are met with. I'll be happy here. I'm gonna go steady with this woman now, possibly think of marrying her."

I'm not saying that you take my mom's advice (I've not taken it yet, but I'm approaching a point, where I'll take it) but you have to sit down and ask yourself "if I'm tired of this single life, what can I do to get the kinda woman that I'm looking for? Are my expectations too high, too idealistic? Is it really possible to have it all? Well, if there really exists a woman like this, would she say yes to me as well? if such a woman doesn't exist at all, is being single in hope of someone like this, really worth it?" I'm not saying what you should or should not do. I'm telling you to do some cost-benefit analysis and I'm trying to encourage you to be realistic.

Good luck and take care.

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