The last thing i wanted to hear .

[billy5]

Hi guys ,

 

First of all I wanted to thank all who have helped me in the last few weeks , and I must apologise at times I have not heeded the advice and done what I thought was right or what I couldnt help myself doing .

 

My dilemma seems to have hit rock bottom ,and I dont want to sound like a depressed loser, but I hoped maybe I could get some advice and maybe if there are any other people in my situation to see what NOT to do !

 

Quick update, I split with my ex over a year ago, and weve always kinda been in touch. 3 months after we split she started seeing someone else , i think it may have been rebound , it lasted 2 or 3 months and ended.

We met up and she told me she split cos she was still thinking about me, but i was too mad at the fact she had been with someone else i didnt see it as an opportunity to reconcile.

Fast forward to Nov 08, I decided to make a dedicated effort to try win her back, to show her i had changed and wanted the same things as her . Things were going ok , txting , calling her and we finally met up. I asked her if we could get back but she said she didnt know and needed space. I didnt give it and so it ended up in her saying we should go NC and both try to move on, saying if we were ever to get back we both needed to heal first.

 

I was Nc for 2 months and , broke nc when my best friend and wife had their first baby , i just wanted to let her know. She offered congratulations but I felt I had made a big mistake .

 

Last night she told me that she is seeing the guy she did after I broke up with her and that we shouldnt talk anymore . I feel destroyed , but all I said to her was that if she wanted to be with him , that I hoped she was happy etc, no maliciousness even though I was and still am reeling inside .

It was the very last thing I wanted to hear , I feel it wouldnt have been as bad if it was a new guy and im starting to wonder is this one of lifes funny lessons that isnt actually very funny. She replied that she was sorry we didnt work out and wished me all the best - so im going to try and not mess up any more and leave things as they are .

 

So here I am , feeling like I only have myself to blame , and im kinda feeling this maybe really is it , felt like she has been burning bridges and now I cant see a way back ,even though I feel that she was the one .

What do you guys think , not sure what to do now, there is so many things I want to say to her ,but dont want to end up making her hate me . Has anyone here been in the same situation?

 

And for those who are in a similar situation , maybe think twice about breaking nc and charging in .

[waveseer]

People often forget one simple fact:

 

If it was meant to be then nothing you did wrong could have prevented it from working out, and if it wasn't meant to be then nothing you did right could have made it work out.

[billy5]

Thanks mate , wise words .

I know this will sound crazy but I always thought it was meant to be, and still do . I just cant see how now , feel bridges have been burned .

Feel so confused .

[ratfreak]

I think it was nice of you to let her know about your friend and their baby if she knew the couple.

 

I also think it's great that you showed effort in trying to make things work again.

 

At the same time, if she asked for NC, you should have respected that after you told her about your friends baby.

I know it's hard but... give it time.

[chocolates]

People often forget one simple fact:

 

If it was meant to be then nothing you did wrong could have prevented it from working out, and if it wasn't meant to be then nothing you did right could have made it work out.

 

the most useful thing I've read in ages.

[billy5]

Hi

Thanks Rat, yeah she did know them ,not greatly but I felt enough to let her know .

Yeah I have been Nc after I told about the baby , but She has told me she is now back with the guy she was seeing a few months after we broke up. I dont have any choice now to give it time as I feel she is basically cutting me out of her life completely as she has blocked me from bebo, and has basically said she wont be replying to my txts etc.

Do you guys think this is a hopeless situation for me ,because at the moment I cant see any way that she may come back .

 

Yeah choc it is a good post , and I can relate to it , I guess my problem is that I really wanted to try and give things another go , but it seemed , the more I tried the more I pushed her away ...the old cliche but I guess its true . I just always thought she would come good in the end , never thought she would cut me out like this in my wildest dreams .

[Pixiedoc]

People often forget one simple fact:

 

If it was meant to be then nothing you did wrong could have prevented it from working out, and if it wasn't meant to be then nothing you did right could have made it work out.

 

I think that ready2heal is absolutely spot on and this most recent contact unfortunately confirms what her aims were in the first place - to move on to someone else. It's a really tough lesson to learn and takes a while - but once you get there you feel much much better.