It seems one way, but really is another. Why does she act like that?

[Bdk86]

My ex ended it about 3 and half months ago and got with another guy days later. I would talk to her occasionally beause we shared a class together. Either way, she broke up with her boyfriend and called me that day to let me know. I was ecstatic because I was hoping to try out the relationship again, but I didn't let her know that.

 

Anyway, we went on spring break the next week (last week actually) and ironically vacationed in the same town. She would text me and call me multiple times through out the days just to say "hey" and see what I was doing. The conversation would be nice and cute and I was getting excited to either meet up with her there or later when school began again so we could develop upon this.

 

But randomly, she texted me in the middle of the week and told me she was now dating one of her friends (which makes sense because every relationship she has been in has been followed by another with in days, literally). I responded and basically told her I was disappointed because I wanted to see if her and I could start over and see where it took. She told me she no longer cares about me like that and said she's sorry but we're never getting back together. Also she mentioned that my mother would hate that we got back together because my mom absolutely despises this woman.

 

The thing is, the next day she acted like it never happened. She wanted to actually meet up with me that day (which I didn't let happen), and she kept texting and calling.

 

I just don't understand why she would pretend like it didn't happen, and contact me like she still cared. She would initiate the contact by calling and texting quite a few times a day. I honestly didn't see how she couldn't be interested by how she was acting toward me because she was so prolific in talking to me. Maybe she does care but knows it couldn't work so she wants all she can have? I don't need advice on how to get her back as much as how to interpret what she is doing. She contacts me like I am her boyfriend, but claims she wants nothing to do with it and also starts seeing another man.

 

I just don't get it. Any help would be great.

 

Thanks ENA

[deaxtime2]

sounds like emotional boyfriend syndrome to me.

[90_hour_sleep]

sounds like you're her backup plan - emotional stimulus for those times when she needs someone. she wants to know that you're still around when she needs you, basically.

 

also doesn't sound like she's interested in being in any kind of relationship. maybe just wants to have a little fun.

 

not fair to you if you've shown you're interested in more than that. try not to let her drag you through the mud on this one. stop being there for her.

[Bdk86]

whats emotional boyfriend syndome. me or her?

[deaxtime2]

what 90h just said

[90_hour_sleep]

i think basically it means that you're only sharing one aspect of a relationship with her. and it's only friendly. nothing more.

[Salicia]

She is just playing with you and your emotions. Ignore her and move on because she clearly doesn't want to initiate another relationship with you.

[huskiesfan]

She is playing some serious games with you, in order to keep you strung along as a backup plan, and to give her some sense of power.

 

She will flirt with you up until she thinks you might bring up the idea of reconciliation, and then she will plainly let you know that she is not interested in being with you. It gives her a nice ego boost and makes her feel like she is worth being pursued after.

 

This exact same thing happened between my ex and I. The best advice I can give you is to cut contact with her and move on. Not only will it end the heartache and the games, but it gives you some power back that you do not have right now because she is leading you on.

[Bdk86]

To be honest, it completely sucks. I really thought that she might be interested in starting something new, but I guess she has to move a new guy in. She called the day she broke up with her boyfriend to tell me and then would be in contact nearly constantly the next week to subsequently tell me that she is seeing a new guy already.

 

What I don't get is why she has to jump from guy to guy like that-not even just her but women in general. I wouldn't have told her that I still wanted something between her and I if I had an opportunity to ask her out again and have some time with her.

 

I know the best thing to do is to cut off contact, but I really want to know why I get myself caught in these traps. Maybe not me as much as her taking advantage of me talking to her? I really don't even give her much emotional support when we talk; I try to be as nonchalant as possible...or tried anyway.

 

The rejection doesn't even hurt as bad as how she made me feel like such a fool. She only wants a friendship but she will contact me like I am her boyfriend. I just don't get it. I have never been in a situation like this. Every relationship I've been in ended with us saying "lets be friends" which is only a euphimism for "no hard feelings", but I guess this woman wants me there but she doesn't but she kind of does but she doesn't but she does. All my family and friends said that she was crazy from Day 1 and perhaps this is a tangible reflection of that.

 

Is this common behavior?!?

 

I just want to stop the anxiety and move on which I've been trying to desperately do since the break-up. I