sarahbeth1990 Posted March 23, 2009 Share Posted March 23, 2009 I love my boyfriend.. i know that i do. he's an amazing person, friend, and lover. So when my sister drove me to his friends house (i am having car trouble). My boyfriend walked out with a beer in his hand and so did his friend. They tried to hide them behind their backs and my sister was like i see the beers you dont need to hide them.. So she left and i hung out with my boyfriend and his friends.. his friend has a baby with a girl and it was just me, my boyfriend, his friend, his friend's girlfriend, and their baby. i didn't drink at all that night and my boyfriend had a couple of sips out of his beer. His friend was drinking, not alot but more than the normal amount. and his friends girlfriend had one beer. my sister came back to pick me up and we were trying to clean up the mess before she got there and she walked in unannounced and claimed that we were doing drugs. When we got home to our parents house she told my mom and my mom told me that it was my fathers decision whether or not we should break up. my mom told me that if he really loved me and cared about me he wouldn't have been drinking while i was there and she said that my father wants us to break up.. i told my boyfriend and he seemed like he had no emotion about it. but i know thats the way he is. it just hurts me so much. i have never felt this way about another guy and he was the first person i truly loved. he told me that if it was my parents wishes that we break up then we have to abide by their rules. i hate that he said that. i know that i only have 2 months until i graduate from high school and we are both going to go to college in the fall. i know that my parents cant keep us away from each other forever just the thought of two months not being able to see him. Oh and by the way, he was gone for 8 months out of our relationship to go into the army.. so he has already be gone for 8 months and 2 more months would just kill me. i know where my parents are coming from, i'm too young to be participating in that kind of stuff. but seriously i am 18 years old and i need to start making my own decisions. i have no clue what to do... can anyone give me some sort of adivice on any of this? please.. i have been crying for hours on end, i cant even participate in any activities that i normally participate in. my mother isn't even being sympathetic like she was to my sister when my parents made my sister break up with her boyfriend. and the thing is, i know my sister is in college but she does come home for breaks and for summer and i know that she drinks sometimes and she is underage too. but i wasn't even drinking, i think beer is disgusting and this is all just ridiculous. Link to comment
xmrth Posted March 23, 2009 Share Posted March 23, 2009 Oh honey, this reminds me of when I was in high school! I was over my boyfriends house (have been dating since freshman year of back in high school) and my mom heard a phone conversation about me having drinks at his house. I wasn't allowed to go over there for years and it really messed things up, like we mostly hang out here to this day, and -I missed out on developing a relationship with his family early on.- I would explain that to your parents, that you're 18, an adult, almost out of high school and that you don't want to break up with him. What I did with my parents was I wrote them a letter about all my feelings but I get the feeling you must all be really close, maybe you could really sit down with them and talk to them, as long as you don't get emotional and angry, you have to really be serious and speak to them like the adult you want to be treated as. And let them know that people your age do drink, they do, I did, just don't drink and drive! And that maybe you could open up some kind of communication with them to let them know when you will be around alcohol-- it is easy, they will KNOW, they don't have to worry and everything... You didn't break any rules... I mean, you're getting ready to graduate high school! You should abide by their rules and respect them for as long as you're living in their house but I know what you want and I don't think it's unreasonable in the least to work something out with them over it. You just really really have to sit down and talk with them.. Link to comment
Casey13 Posted March 23, 2009 Share Posted March 23, 2009 Your parents want you to break up with your guy because he had a few sips of beer? Better hold your ground on this one because its about that time where you have to transition into starting to make your own decisions. It would be one thing if he was getting high and they wanted you two to break up but over a few sips of beer seems unreasonable. I would go against your parents wishes on this one and try to talk to them about it. Link to comment
sarahbeth1990 Posted March 24, 2009 Author Share Posted March 24, 2009 i sat down with my parents and they flipped out on me. they dont care what i have to say. and it just hurts because they are supposed to care. they are supposed to love me no matter what and they treat me like i'm a piece of crap. they are kicking me out june 5th and its only because i told them that they were being unreasonable with this situation. Link to comment
xmrth Posted March 25, 2009 Share Posted March 25, 2009 If they seriously kick you out then you officially do not have to answer to anyone. Honestly, if you can, I would. It doesn't sound like a good situation to be living in IF you can't both come to terms. You're going through extreme life changing years and they sound like they are going to hold you back every step of the way. Maybe moving out is a good thing and them telling you to is the push you will need, I honestly think it would be for the best. I can understand them thinking you're going against them but I mean, if they are acting this way over someone ELSE having a few sips of beer, whether its your boyfriend or not, moving out sounds like a good idea believe it or not! Are you going to college after high school...? Living on campus could make this a lot easier too. Link to comment
sarahbeth1990 Posted March 26, 2009 Author Share Posted March 26, 2009 Thank you all for your advice.. But i guess its over because he flat out said he didn't love me.. Link to comment
sarahbeth1990 Posted March 26, 2009 Author Share Posted March 26, 2009 but i'm still going to take you advice and think about moving out.. Link to comment
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