LostBoy2009 Posted March 23, 2009 Share Posted March 23, 2009 well, if you've read my other posts, some of you might know whats going on in my life.. my girlfriend has cheated on me with like, 7 different guys, some of them being my friends, and my friends brothers... she has single handedly made me push every close friend that i ever had out of my life... and now that im depressed/antisocial, shes working her way in to my spot in their lives.. so not only have i lost all my friends, shes not becoming friends with them.. im anti social.. when i go out, i cant even think of things to say to my buddies.. ive lost all interest in everything. i used to be really big into music, and TV, and movies, now I have no interest in any of it.. i havent downloaded a song or watched a TV show in the last 4 months.. i cant sleep, ive been eating complete junk food, i have no interest in excercise.. all things that i used to be into. i dont know where to turn anymore..? i keep trying to work things out with her, for the last 4 months, ive been trying.. and she just keeps lying, and * * * * ing more people who i think are my friends. my family doesnt understand why im so depressed, and why i cant just move on... i feel like my life is over. she was the only thing that ever made me happy, and now she keeps telling me that she needs me back so bad, and that she'll do anything.. but when we hang out, its just awkward conversation, and sex... im supposed to be moving away in 2 weeks to go back to school, but i really dont know if im stable enough to do it... ive been drinking non stop for the last week, smoking probably a pack and a half of cigarettes a day, and occasionally using drugs.. when im not drinking, i just lay on my bed and stare at the roof.. she keeps telling me that the only way for me to feel better is if i go back with her, and she'll never hurt me again.. im so confused/scared.. my brain isnt built to handle this. i was teased alot through highschool, and i dont come from a very stable family.. my parents always fought, and they never really talked to me.. i keep having this feeling that if i go back with her ill feel good again, but i dont think its ever gonna happen.. i just wanna die right now, im so lost.. Link to comment
ShootMePlz Posted March 23, 2009 Share Posted March 23, 2009 Walk away from the girl she will destroy you. Fix yourself....get a doctor and get on with your life. You will look back at this in 5 years and say....whew!! What was I thinking!!! Link to comment
mmjames Posted March 23, 2009 Share Posted March 23, 2009 Leave the girl and move on. Look at what she's doing/done to you. You don't need a person like that in your life. Start fresh. Maybe get a therapist or someone to help you along the way. But first things first, get away from the source of the problem, the girl. Link to comment
LostBoy2009 Posted March 23, 2009 Author Share Posted March 23, 2009 I just don't understand why im so paranoid/antisocial..? Like some of my real buddies try to talk to me, and ij ust cant think of anything to say. You guys really think if I just stop talking to her ill get better? I mean, i havent even really gotten mad at her yet.. I just feel like everythings my fault. Link to comment
faithful14 Posted March 23, 2009 Share Posted March 23, 2009 i think that when you stop talking to her and leave her alone, you will be able to see things more clearly and then can make a better decision what to do. you deserve sooooo much better than this. This girl has a problem that has nothing to do with you; the problem lays within herself. If cheats and lies with you, then she will do it to the next guy and the one after that. Don't listen to her when she says that you will feel better when you get back with her and that she needs you. that's bull * * * * . If she really loved you, she would never have done this to you in the first place. start doing things that will make you happy. go to the gym and workout....it will help to relieve a lot of the anger and stress held inside. Meet new people, go out to the bars, start doing things for yourself and whenever you start to think about her, give yourself a little project to stay occupied. Take things day by day and in time, your outlook and attitude will change. I hope this helps in anway. ( I say this from experience) Link to comment
mmjames Posted March 23, 2009 Share Posted March 23, 2009 You feel like it's your fault? Sound's like to me that deeper emotions and feelings are involved. And I know it's not like us guys to confess our inner feelings and yadda yadda, but if there is more you want to say then talk to one of your buddies. The real ones that genuinely want to help. Or if that's too awkward between you guys, then you have this whole website full of people who will listen. I agree with faithful. Make the conscious decision to be happier and start doing things that make you happy. And find people that like the same music, tv, and movies that you do and you will find yourself reconnected with those sorts of things again. Link to comment
abouttime Posted March 23, 2009 Share Posted March 23, 2009 She is a sexual sociopath. She will make love to you in the morning, and in the afternoon you will find her going down on the delivery boy she just met, who just brought you your extra cheese and pepperoni large pizza. And when you catch her in the act, she will look up wipe her mouth and say who's next. This girl will tare your heart out, eat in front of you and then ask you what's the matter. DUMP HER. Link to comment
yeawutever Posted March 23, 2009 Share Posted March 23, 2009 Like the other posters have suggested do get yourself fixed and dump the no good cheating tramp. She doesn't appears to even have any empathy whatsoever. Yes it does looks like a sociopath. Link to comment
offplanet Posted March 23, 2009 Share Posted March 23, 2009 Dear Lostboy Your life is not over, it's just starting, and you have the ideal opportunity to start it WELL by moving away and going back to school. That girl is NOT the one to make you happy, she is doing NOTHING good for you, and everything to hurt you. You're right, your brain wasn't built to handle that kind of treatment. You sound like a very decent guy, who has had a difficult and sad upbringing. It's time for you to have some good things. You deserve them. You have the social anxiety, so I'm not trying to tell you that just getting away from this girl will solve ALL your difficulties. You will still need to get some help with developing social skills. Can you get counselling at your school? Look, you are very vulnerable at the moment, and it wouldnt be a good idea to frequent bars at this stage, in my opinion. To a sensitive person, it could be a nightmare. I think you need simplicity and stability right now. Would it be possible to get board with a nice stable family, where you go to school? I've been in this situation myself, a long time ago when I was 21, spending hours and days alone in my room, smoking cigarettes, and feeling like I had no hope of my life changing. The college counselling network helped me over the next 9 months, through group therapy, to learn about relating to others. Before that, I had no interests or hobbies, and all I was interested in was...a 'love' relationship, which was actually something I had no idea of what it was. I didnt feel I could be happy unless I had a b/f. That is so not true. You need to develop some interests which make you happy and feel good, apart from 'girlfriends'. Leave that for a while, while you build up your self esteem. This is a good thing to do while you're young, a good tool to have in life, to be able to find happiness and satisfaction without depending on another person to make you feel good. Of course, another person will make you feel good, if they love you in a healthy way, but you are not desparately unhappy waiting and searching for that person. That person will be attracted to you because you have a lot going for you, are interesting, even if not extremely talkative. You don't have to be a life of the party kind of guy. You might be more introverted. That is a wonderful way to be, also. I know you will find a nice girl, because you sound like a lovely young guy. I really hope you will go and find someone to guide you through this stage of your life, ie. a counsellor, not an immature unstable girlfriend. I had a lot of counselling throughout my life, at different times and still do from time to time. Like someone else said, one day you'll look back at how you felt for this girl and think 'what was I thinking??' The one I was stressing over at age 21, who I thought was so wonderful, I now realize was actually not very nice at all, in fact had a deviant streak, and I wouldn't listen to warnings. I hope there is some way you can get into a group of people to learn social skills, and who will be a great source of support to you, Please take the advice of someone who has been there and lived to tell the tale! All the best offplanet Link to comment
odile Posted March 24, 2009 Share Posted March 24, 2009 The girl is a vampire sucking you dry. she keeps telling me that the only way for me to feel better is if i go back with her, and she'll never hurt me again. It's more lies from her; she obviously has some severe issues, and cannot be trusted. For her to say something like that after everything she's done to you is abusive-- it's manipulation at it's finest. To have endured such appalling treatment from a person who's meant to be loving towards you, it's no wonder you're depressed! ANYBODY would have a hard time going through what you are going through right now, and I am so sorry for the pain that you must be feeling. Suicide is not the answer. Don't kill yourself, and don't stay with her, because that will kill you from the inside out, in any case. NC with the girl. This is your wake-up call. Get out of town, get to school. This could be your saving grace. Arrange counseling through the school (even if they don't offer it directly, the guidance office will be able to advise you on low-cost or free treatment options in your area) Focus on life, your life; it's time to reclaim it. Link to comment
LostBoy2009 Posted March 24, 2009 Author Share Posted March 24, 2009 She was my first girlfriend, and I really dont know how to deal..? Like im pretty gullable. Pretty much everything she tells me, I tend to believe her. Don't ask me why, its just the way my head works. Like I live in a small town.. So this girl who I gave everything, is now rolling around with people who I've known all my life, and is happy as * * * * .. While im sat at home, depressed, antisocial, paranoid, and not caring about myself at all. I hate itttt.. I ust wanna be back to my old self. Link to comment
Baily Posted March 25, 2009 Share Posted March 25, 2009 You'd be a FOOL to go back to her. Cut off all ties with her, stop drinking, ease up on the smoking and ease up on the drugs. You are getting overly depressed BECAUSE you are self medicating. Your mind will right itself when you stop the drinking and drugs. It's going to take time. You will meet new friends and new girls. As a guy - I've had many friends....and I've let a few 'friends' go for stabbing me in the back. If your friends made out with her you've got a few ways to look at it. 1st is if you were dating her at the time...they are not your friends. If you were not...they all played her to get some sex. Only you can answer that. You will meet new people. Open yourself up to new places...NOT THE BAR. Coach - if you keep drinking and using you will go farther into depression. Your mind and body will self heal....WAKE UP! You were smart enough to come to this forum so take some advice from here. 1st - stop drinking all together for 2 weeks...then you can pick it up again if you choose 2nd - stop all drug use for then next 3 weeks 3rd - tell her to leave you alone...tell your little head to go away for awhile and use your brain. No one will respect you for seeing her again...you won't respect yourself. No matter how good looking or ugly you are you can meet another girl. 4th - re evaluate your friends....if it's time to let them go - so be it - join some other groups and you'll meet other people. There are 5 billion people in the world....don't get so caught up in thinking those people are the only ones around. Last - being alone is a GOOD thing. Stop looking at it as a bad thing. When you truly know yourself is when you won't care about guys or girls that come into your life. You'll be yourself and people you have similarities with will enter your life. Link to comment
king6 Posted March 29, 2009 Share Posted March 29, 2009 All of the crap your doing, stop. You list alot of stuff your doing, that you know isnt healthy, yet you keep doing it. Its a cry out for attention, and your not getting it. They see it as a tool for manipulation. IMO if your freinds are sleeping with your gf/ex gf, they arent good freinds anyway and I wouldnt trust them more then Id trust a total stranger. None of it is going to help you, you will dig yourself a deep hole and lose everything. Its time to pull yourself up by the bootstraps and start acting like a man. The best thing you can do is shut all this out and move on with your life. Leave it all in the past and dont look back. You still have alot going for you, There are people that would kill to be in your positon. It may not seem like it but there are. Sucks that your chick was a just a throwaway girlfriend, but its not your fault, its hers. I can garrantee shes not happy, shes miserable on the inside and probaly has alot of problems herself. Dont accept her back because she is the cause of all your problems. I suggest go to school, Cut off everything from where you left. Link to comment
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