Not sure about this...

[Seko]

Ok, so here is the situation...

 

I met this guy recently while out with some friends...it's not really important, just that we met in person, chatted for a whole of like 5 minutes, and then very briefly later, where he gave me his info.

 

We have been communicating since and trying to find a time to meet up (it's been about two weeks by now) but we are both super busy, have different schedules, and we live about 45 minutes apart. Finding a time has been hard.

 

Today, he invited me to an event he is hosting at a bar. He knows I am free that day and I am tempted to go because - finally, a time! But...there are several issues. Firstly, I don't think it really counts as a date if I show up to an event he is hosting. I don't need anything super-romantic. We hardly know each other. But my time with him will probably be minimal and/or I will feel the need to cling to his side because I don't know anyone and he knows everyone! Secondly, if he or I make it known that I am there for him, I feel like there will be a lot of scrutiny on me. Again, most of these people are his friends. There is a sizeable age difference between the two of us and he got out of a marriage relatively recently. I'm not sure I want to meet all his friends under the context of "I'm here for him" until I know him a little better. Lastly, some people advise me not to drink on first dates. I'm sure I will have several drinks if I go.

 

On the plus side...a few drinks can make me very sociable and maybe I can wander around and meet some interesting people...learn more about him (stories from friends AND the kinds of friends someone has can say a lot...) and if nothing else, perhaps a totally casual non-date thing is better/less pressure for two people who hardly know anything about each other. If worse comes to worst, I can just leave him to be with his friends and find something else to do. I even thought about bringing along one of my girl-friends to make a getaway easier if it's too awkward.

 

I'm really not sure about this. Most of my past dates have been in a college/high school context where things aren't as formal. What do you guys think? Wait for a better time or think of this as a good, no pressure opportunity?

[paintedfish]

Do you have any friends you can bring along? Maybe a mutual friend?

 

I hate situations like that, and I usually end up by myself, so having a friend can either take all the pressure off or keep you from socializing, depending on your personality.

[jordg1]

It depends on the type of party and what type of friends he has...If you go and it ends up to be a big drinking bash then you probably might wunna stay near him as much as possible(and it would be a good idea to stay sober...and if you have anything to drink dont drink alot...at a party with all strangers with only one guy you know and you barely even know him...doesnt sound like a good idea to get trashed)..and if you know what kind of party it is tell me and ill see what kind of advice you need...ok??