Ghost_ape Posted March 22, 2009 Share Posted March 22, 2009 I have a pretty odd problem. There's a woman who thinks that I'm interested in her, and who is extremely interested in me. I do not, and I repeat DO NOTwant a relationship of any nature beyond being friends with her, but she's very persistent. She's gone from just acting casual, to "picking on me", flirting with me, and giving be "play beatings" when I "misbehave". I don't have a lot of luck with women so this ironic scenario bothers me to no end. She's been through a lot and I just don't think a romantic relationship is going to work out...There's a whole difference in levels of maturity. I have no qualms about saying that in many areas in life she's a whole lot more mature than I. And the converse applies in other areas of life in which she lacks experience and maturity. *(She's older than me, by the way.) I'd love to be friends with her and just be able to talk and maintain a platonic relationship. (I.e. no love, sex, anything like that.) I'm not gay. I'm just not attracted to this one particular woman at all! Does anyone have any advice on how I can extinguish any / all sexual attraction she has for me? I've spent so many years trying to do the opposite and attract women, that I don't have the slightest clue how to get friend-zoned when I finally want to! Any(!!) suggestions are welcome! Link to comment
Crazyaboutdogs Posted March 22, 2009 Share Posted March 22, 2009 Have you told her point blank to stop her flirtatiousness and that you are only interested in her as a platonic friend? Link to comment
ButterflyWrists Posted March 22, 2009 Share Posted March 22, 2009 Tell her and make it clear you want only a friendship. If she persists, then say you cant be her friend because you don't want to hurt her feelings by rejecting her. She may be hoping that you will just go with her because she obviously likes you a lot. Link to comment
CallingAllAngels Posted March 22, 2009 Share Posted March 22, 2009 Sorry....if she feels that spark for you, you'll never "friendzone" her. I'm afraid you might have to give up your entire relationship with her. My best to you. Link to comment
Ghost_ape Posted March 22, 2009 Author Share Posted March 22, 2009 Have you told her point blank to stop her flirtatiousness and that you are only interested in her as a platonic friend? No, I haven't. Should I? And if so, how long is it before that does damage? This has been going on for about 2-3 weeks now. She's thoroughly infatuated with me. Is that the best approach to take after this has been going on for so long? Link to comment
SapphireNoir10 Posted March 22, 2009 Share Posted March 22, 2009 The truth hurts. But its often the best thing for people to hear, as long as you are kind about it. Just tell her you are only interested in a friendship. Link to comment
CallingAllAngels Posted March 22, 2009 Share Posted March 22, 2009 No, I haven't. Should I? And if so, how long is it before that does damage? This has been going on for about 2-3 weeks now. She's thoroughly infatuated with me. Is that the best approach to take after this has been going on for so long? "Listen, I like you, but just as a friend." Link to comment
cleap24 Posted March 22, 2009 Share Posted March 22, 2009 You could always just drop little hints that won't hurt her feelings too much such as saying I am glad we are friends or something like that emphasizing on friends. Maybe she will get the hint that she is just in the friends zone. Link to comment
Ghost_ape Posted March 22, 2009 Author Share Posted March 22, 2009 "Listen, I like you, but just as a friend." I never thought just being blunt about it would work. Usually everything else I'm blunt about gets me in a lot of trouble... Anywhoo, I'm sure it won't be as difficult as I'm envisioning it to be. I just wish this kind of thing didn't happen to me. As if I don't have enough trouble with the opposite sex in terms of doing the opposite of what's outlined in this post... Link to comment
Ghost_ape Posted March 22, 2009 Author Share Posted March 22, 2009 Thanks, all for the replies. (The fact that the majority of you are female gives me reassurance that this advice is sound, pragmatic and relevant to my interests.) I really hope it works out. This ...friend of mine is really cool...But it's the kind of cool that you don't really want to date. She's an awesome person. Just not someone I feel any attraction for. Link to comment
SapphireNoir10 Posted March 22, 2009 Share Posted March 22, 2009 Thats completely fair enough, and its better just to tell her that. Good luck! Link to comment
CallingAllAngels Posted March 22, 2009 Share Posted March 22, 2009 I like your idea. well, I am glad you found it helpful! Link to comment
Crazyaboutdogs Posted March 22, 2009 Share Posted March 22, 2009 Thanks, all for the replies. (The fact that the majority of you are female gives me reassurance that this advice is sound, pragmatic and relevant to my interests.) I really hope it works out. This ...friend of mine is really cool...But it's the kind of cool that you don't really want to date. She's an awesome person. Just not someone I feel any attraction for. Part of the problem is that if you don't set someone straight the minute they start showing an interest then the silence simply encourages them to continue...so in essence, you have played your part in this escalation by not making your feelings clear right from the beginning. It is time to set the record straight and make it clear in a very kind way, that you are not interested in her romantically. Link to comment
cleap24 Posted March 22, 2009 Share Posted March 22, 2009 I really hope this all works out for you so you two can still remain friends. Definitely keep us updated. Your post could probably help alot of us with this problem! Link to comment
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