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Why Does He Want To See You In A Bi...
Why Does He Want To See You In A Bikini?

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Okay, I was married to my high school sweetheart for two years when I met this girl at work. We were just friends at first and then she kissed me. It was one kiss. I stopped it, left her home and told my husband. Nothing happened after this. My husband flipped. He said I couldn't have any contact with her anymore and I refused. Now we are divorced and I moved from our home together into a home I am buying all by myself. This girl was getting kicked out of her home by her ex-girlfriend and suggested we rent together or I buy and she move in. I divorced on a Friday signed house papers on a wednesday and we moved in together that day. The house is 4 bedrooms and 2 bathrooms. She is using three rooms and a bathroom and I have the master suite and master bathroom. She refused to let me put an office in one of the spare rooms so my office stuff is in my only room. She refused to even let me hang a painting in the room she used to excercise!

So after a little while I started to complain. I felt like I was the guest in my own house and to make matters worse she asked me if I thought our relationship was going to be more than just friends and when I told her yes she got mad at me and told me it was never going to happen!

Four months later she still has three rooms, a bathroom, she decorated the kitchen, she is putting up sports stuff in the backyard, and we are still friends with boundaries. She told me I was in love with her but that neither of us were ready for that kind of relationship. She also says she never wants to be involved with someone she is living with. I told her maybe she should move then because this sucks. It's good at times but when it rains it pours. And then to add the final blow I had to help her deal with a mental health disorder including suicidal thoughts and self injurious behaviors. When I fall apart because of my divorce she says she can't help because she is broken and doesn't feel anything emotionally. Am I being suckered or do I need to try and stick this one out to see where the friendship goes? Afraid of the answer on this because I already feel so alone.

Oh and she says I am too young for her. I own my house and my car and have been steadily employed since I graduated college. She is also a car owner and steadily employed but she doesn't have much to show for her so called "life experiences" except for a lot of baggage I am carrying around for her.

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That all sounds like way too much, too soon. She shouldn't have moved in with you, and she cannot tell you where you can and cannot put your own stuff in your own house. Kick her out. Go a little slower next time. And in order- dating, then relationship, then moving in together. I think you had different things in mind than she did, and you should have talked about what moving in together meant beforehand.

 

That all sounds very stressful. I think if you had some time on your own it would help you think more clearly. Tell her she needs to find somewhere else to live because this just isn't working for you.

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She won't let you do what!? and in your own house?? Stop it. This makes absolutely no sense. At all. It seems like this entire thing was a mistake and happened way to fast. It is obvious that she is taking advantage of you because she probably sees you as a pushover. She should pack her bags and bounce. Seriously. After going through a divorce, why would you take on this extra un-needed stress?

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Yes, you are being suckered. Consult a lawyer and have her move out. I suggest a lawyer because the relationship you have with her is not clear - landlord/tenant, friends or what. So you may have to get advice as to the best way to evict her.

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Yes, you are being suckered. Consult a lawyer and have her move out. I suggest a lawyer because the relationship you have with her is not clear - landlord/tenant, friends or what. So you may have to get advice as to the best way to evict her.

 

I second this but if she didnt sign anything give her notice and kick her out. This is dysfunctional to say the least and if after 4 months nothing has changed this won't get any better than it is. Seems like she needs to get herself together elsewhere.

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Oh no! your house, your rules... tell her she has to start looking for somewhere else to live. You only really need to consult a lawyer if she has put money into redecorating the kitchen / the backyard stuff... Good luck but act fast!

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I agree with everyone...she is taking advantage of you, and now you should consult an attorney to make sure that you aren't further harmed in this situation. Keep a record of her "rent" payments and document her insistence that you are absolutely *not* in a relationship. I think you'll have to demonstrate that this is not co-habitation of partners, but a business agreement for rental purposes. If you end up calling the police to remove her, it is likely that they will view this as a domestic dispute rather than a rental situation--which could not work in your favor.

 

I hope you resolve this quickly and you can get on with the important business of dealing with your new life.

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Ya, as everyone else has said: You're being took.

 

Call an attorney/lawyer.

 

Kick her out. Make sure there is someone with you, she might get a little violent.

 

Call the cops if need be.

 

Sorry about your divorce as well, but if he divorced you for that, not really sure if he was worth it.

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  • 2 weeks later...

What I get out of your thread is that you seem to believe that the predicament that you are in is because of your live-in friend. That she is the cause of your divorce and your current living arrangement. I guess it is up to you if you want to continue to believe that.

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