urbanmiller Posted March 21, 2009 Share Posted March 21, 2009 i think i pretty much know the answer to my question but i just need some reassurance and motivation... we hvae only known each other about a month or so. so it started off with him contacting me a lot, telling me he liked me and was interested in me. that has diminished a lot, and he almost never initiates contact with me first. he does respond almost immediately to all my texts and stuff though. and he assures me that he still interested in me. it's tricky because he has a very important test coming up in a few weeks and lately he has started studying for that and i know he is very stressed out and busy studying. he has said that we shouldn't see each other until after the test and i am understanding of that. but i would think that he would still at least SOMETIMES contact me if he were interested me in and to make sure i stayed interested in him. like i said, he always responds when i talk to him. what do u guys think and what should i do? thanks Link to comment
alli Posted March 21, 2009 Share Posted March 21, 2009 I wonder why he initially expressed such interest in you and now that has dwindled. Maybe he thinks you do not like him as much as he liked you, so he backed off. Or, maybe he is the type of guy that enjoys the chase, and now that he knows he got you to like him back, he has lost interest. Who knows. I would still text him over the next few weeks, then after the test suggest getting together for a "celebratory lunch/dinner/etc". See how it goes from there. If he still doesn't seem that into you after you make more effort to express your interest in him, I would move on. Link to comment
LAYAAN Posted March 21, 2009 Share Posted March 21, 2009 do you know for sure if a test excuse is real? or he is putting you on a back burner while trying to make it work with someone else? huge test, small test, everything is okay, does he have time to eat n sleep n take a shower? then he should be able to call n talk for 5 min or return your text. I've taken 9-hour long tests, would come home feeling like my brain has been fried and call the man that I was in touch with and talk to him for 5-10 min. Its possible. Link to comment
urbanmiller Posted March 21, 2009 Author Share Posted March 21, 2009 alli, i think he has expressed less interest maybe because he has lost interest for whatever reason or is really just focused on his test as the top priority right now. either way is fine, i just wish i knew which one it was so i could know to either stick around or move on... i dont think he has backed off because i havent shown much interest. on the contrary, i think i have shown a good amount, but who knows what he thinks... so you don't think i should back off ENTIRELY and see what happens after he takes the test? i feel kind of silly always being the one to initiate contact... Link to comment
urbanmiller Posted March 21, 2009 Author Share Posted March 21, 2009 i know for sure that he has a test coming up. he is taking the boards to become a doctor. i took the bar to get my law license so i understand the pressure involved... Link to comment
CallingAllAngels Posted March 21, 2009 Share Posted March 21, 2009 alli, i think he has expressed less interest maybe because he has lost interest for whatever reason or is really just focused on his test as the top priority right now. either way is fine, i just wish i knew which one it was so i could know to either stick around or move on... i dont think he has backed off because i havent shown much interest. on the contrary, i think i have shown a good amount, but who knows what he thinks... so you don't think i should back off ENTIRELY and see what happens after he takes the test? i feel kind of silly always being the one to initiate contact... Since you are the one who always initiates the contact, I would STOP and see what he does. If he contacts you, he's interested. If not, then you have your answer. Link to comment
alli Posted March 21, 2009 Share Posted March 21, 2009 So he doesn't text you at all unless you text him first? Yeah, I know what it is like to have an exam you really need to study for, but if you think about it, I'm sure he can still find the time to sleep, shower, have meals, probably see his friends. I could see why he can't spend a ton of time with you right now, but none at all? Maybe initiate texting with him sparingly. Like don't at all for the next week, then text one time the week after that & one time after the exam is over, suggesting to get together. If he acts the same to you after the exam is over, drop him. No matter what the reason is, you don't want to date someone who just chooses to ignore you. Link to comment
DN Posted March 21, 2009 Share Posted March 21, 2009 It may be the test is the issue - in which case wait until the test is over and see if his interest and activity levels ramp up subsequently. If they do - all is well. If they don't - time to move on. Link to comment
SweetJade Posted March 21, 2009 Share Posted March 21, 2009 Funny that you post this because I'm going through a similar situation. Just change studying and preparing for a test to busy work schedule.. I've decided to stop contact with him and see how much he initiates it. If someone is really liking you, they'll find time to hang out and call you regardless if they are busy or not.. that's just my two cents. I'm pretty sure he can balance time to talk to people and hang out with others yet study. It's not like he has to study 24/7. I wouldn't wait on him.. from now on let him do the chasing and see if he puts forth effort to call or hang out with you. If he's not doing these things, I think it's best just to ignore him and move on. Link to comment
LAYAAN Posted March 21, 2009 Share Posted March 21, 2009 hmm, I c. okay, well, you can try texting "hey, how is studying going on?" "hey, good luck studying" "good luck on your exam" etc. before the exam. I would say dont' stir the waters now or else he will feel that you are not serious about his commitment and won't give him space to handle a challenging career. But after his exam, he SHOULD get back to you. If he doesn't then thats not a good sign. Link to comment
angellight Posted March 21, 2009 Share Posted March 21, 2009 Yeah, I would give him some lead way till after the test...see how he acts then...An exam to become a doctor is pretty big... Link to comment
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