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So last night my mong time ex sent me some texts that left at a loss of words.

 

A little history: We were together off and on for about 5 years. We where friends before we got together. After our last break up I went NC for about a year. WE are now just friends again as we where both seeing/ living with other people. I still care about her and always will. But she defintaly hurt me before. Anyway here's what she sent me out of the blue. last night...

 

"I miss you everyday& I just don't/ never thought it would work out."

 

"I'm sorry thats not fair I can't ever commit. It's not fair to you."

 

"I never wanted to be selfish but I am with you because I know you'll love me anyway even if you hate me and its not fair and I'm sorry."

 

"I'm sorry I just want you to know that."

 

I didn't respond to any of these because I was trying to process it all and wasn't sure what to say.

 

She called me about an hour later. I didn't really talk just listened. She was crying and was saying she loved me and she 's afraid because she doesn't want us to end up hating eachother when we are older. (I f we were still together @ 40/50).

 

This was all very out of the blue and quite shocking to me.

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That's a difficult position she's placed you in.

 

Here is what I know from my experience:

 

You should only get back together with someone if something has changed.

 

It won't matter how much you care about her or how much she cares about you. She says that she is sorry for how she is and that she knows shes not fair on you. And unfortunately if she hasn't changed or grown up that's all she'll ever say after. I'm sorry, I'm not a fair. If she has grown up, or can commit, and you can SEE this in her, then maybe. If she's the same person she has always been, you cannot go back. It will be history all over.

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I would tell her that you understand that she is confused but it is not in your best interests to be in contact with her when she clearly isn't ready or interested in a relationship and because of that it is better if you move on.

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This came out of the blue? Was she drunk?

No she wasn't drunk. Yes this was completely out of the blue. We talk on the phone about once a month and get together for lunch or drinks probably once every other month just as friends. There has been no intimate contact in over 2 years. THis is the first time in 2 years there has been any talk of "us".

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No she wasn't drunk. Yes this was completely out of the blue. We talk on the phone about once a month and get together for lunch or drinks probably once every other month just as friends. There has been no intimate contact in over 2 years. THis is the first time in 2 years there has been any talk of "us".

 

Did she recently break up with someone?

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Wow...maybe she's being sincere. What are you going to do? It seems like she's telling you she loves you but can't be with you at the same time.

 

Maybe getting together for lunch and drinks is not a good idea anymore????

 

I honestly have no idea what I'm going to do.

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Let me get this right. You are currently living with your new girlfriend and you are confused as to what to do because your ex sends you some text messages out of the blue? First off I'd say you have no business living with current girlfriend if your ex still has this much of a hold over you. Did you tell your girlfriend about the text? Basically you're asking if you should cheat on your current girlfriend with your ex. Hell NO! What you need to do is let your current girlfriend go so she can find someone who will be actually committed to her and not someone who will live with her without any commitment.

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Let me get this right. You are currently living with your new girlfriend and you are confused as to what to do because your ex sends you some text messages out of the blue? First off I'd say you have no business living with current girlfriend if your ex still has this much of a hold over you. Did you tell your girlfriend about the text? Basically you're asking if you should cheat on your current girlfriend with your ex. Hell NO! What you need to do is let your current girlfriend go so she can find someone who will be actually committed to her and not someone who will live with her without any commitment.

 

No I was living with my last girlfriend until last June, when her and I broke up. I am not seeing anyone at the moment. I would never cheat on anyone, its been done to me and I know how it feels.

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