Mr SIBLEY Posted March 21, 2009 Share Posted March 21, 2009 Me and my girlfriend have been having a great time lately. I love waking up with her and i can't get enough of her. But yesterday after she finished work I phoned her and she was all of a sudden cold with me. This confused me because things have been so great. Backstory: On tuesday she kissed another guy. I felt to strongly to let this get in the way and said that I forgive her. I wasn't happy but I just want it to work. After that we've just really been close afterwards. So she was all cold with me, started being generally rude and abusive. I'd say something and get "meh" or "Yeah, sure" in sarcastic tones as the answer. I really want this to work and it's just confusing me :S Link to comment
philove Posted March 21, 2009 Share Posted March 21, 2009 She kissed another guy on Tuesday and you're still with this woman?! LEAVE HER NOW before you end up getting more hurt. You are her doormat don't let this woman treat you like this. Link to comment
Mr SIBLEY Posted March 21, 2009 Author Share Posted March 21, 2009 I just feel so strongly for her, I guess I am a doormat. Also, this guy is now stalking her and she isn't really telling him to leave her alone. She told me "He's a really nice guy, he's just really creepy". He follows her into work and sends her innapropriate texts. I questioned her on it and she said "I'm used to it and it's not your problem anyway" Link to comment
Lauren8785 Posted March 21, 2009 Share Posted March 21, 2009 Dude, forget her. She was just probably using you for whatever she wanted and now she got what she wanted and is obviously moving on to other guys, she doesn't seem to care about your feelings at all. Besides how long have you known this girl?? If its a short time then it really isn't worth trying to save, you deserve much better!! Link to comment
Cloudyday Posted March 21, 2009 Share Posted March 21, 2009 I just feel so strongly for her, I guess I am a doormat. Horrible way of thinking man and won't ever lead to anything good. Link to comment
odile Posted March 21, 2009 Share Posted March 21, 2009 Sounds like she's likely playing you both. Not good at all. Link to comment
lost1607307474 Posted March 21, 2009 Share Posted March 21, 2009 I would leave her. She kissed another guy - this is an obvious reason why she's acting so cold. If she has started kissing other guys than obviously things aren't right in the relationship. I think it's time to move on. Link to comment
orangesoda Posted March 21, 2009 Share Posted March 21, 2009 no offense, but feeling 'so strongly' for someone doesn't matter one bit when that person doesn't return the sentiment. I think your GF is well on her way to checking out of this relationship, and you're just making it easier for her to do it. Link to comment
Yanet Posted March 21, 2009 Share Posted March 21, 2009 You realize your actions? She kisses another guy and now you're the one trying to appease her and gain her favor? Damn, she must think you're a complete doormat. How sad. Link to comment
rivercitystein Posted March 21, 2009 Share Posted March 21, 2009 How long have you two been together? Link to comment
Mr SIBLEY Posted March 21, 2009 Author Share Posted March 21, 2009 How long have you two been together? 3 months. So not too long. One thing is, she did tell me. She cried and said how she didn't want to lose me over it. She sounded genuine so I said I'll forgive her but that's it after this. But this guy is following her everywhere, texting her at 3 in the morning and found out all of her shifts so he can go to her work and talk to her. He texts saying he loves her, she claims to tell him to leave her alone and that it will never happen because of his "Baggage" (he has a daughter). Should I really dump her? Link to comment
laisla Posted March 21, 2009 Share Posted March 21, 2009 if it were me i'd dump her. if she thinks he's really creepy she wouldn't have KISSED him. she's got issues and she's taking them out on you by acting rude and cold. tell her to get her stuff straightened out. number one should be to not speak to that guy ever again, and to tell him not to contact her. if your relationship means anything to her. Link to comment
Mr SIBLEY Posted March 21, 2009 Author Share Posted March 21, 2009 He began to stalk her after they kissed (forgot that bit) and she said that he kissed her and that she let him (same thing if you ask me). She also said that she backed off straight after and he got into a mood. Link to comment
laisla Posted March 21, 2009 Share Posted March 21, 2009 but see, you're her bf and she needs to show you that she is committed to you. kissing another guy is totally wrong, but forgivable to some people. forgivable if she discontinues contact with that guy and makes it clear that she is with you only. after cheating the cheating partner needs to step up because the trust was broken and they need to repair it. sounds like she's not doing that? Link to comment
Mr SIBLEY Posted March 21, 2009 Author Share Posted March 21, 2009 I'll give you that. I'm going to see her later so, should I give her an ultimatum? I'd love for him to be gone but I'd never tell her to not talk to him. I'd feel like I was controlling her and being a lousy bf. Link to comment
laisla Posted March 21, 2009 Share Posted March 21, 2009 an ultimatum probably won't work because she is acting cold to you, and it will probably just make her pick up her pride and drive her away. i think you could approach it like this.....tell her that you need to talk to her about something serious. tell her how you FEEL, without blaming her. then say that you don't believe the relationship can get better if she's still talking to that guy. you do have every right to want her to stop talking to that guy....i mean she cheated...it's not like you're stopping her from talking to guy friends, but a guy she cheated on you with, that makes it completely fine if you don't want them contacting each other any more. don't say "don't talk to him any more" but instead something like "by you still talking to him it's making me really uneasy about things and it would be better if you stopped talking to him". it's a matter of respect from her part. one bad thing she did was to cheat on you. what's worse is that she's still allowing the guy to talk to her....that is disrespectful to you. Link to comment
rivercitystein Posted March 21, 2009 Share Posted March 21, 2009 3 months. So not too long. But this guy is following her everywhere, texting her at 3 in the morning and found out all of her shifts so he can go to her work and talk to her. He texts saying he loves her, she claims to tell him to leave her alone and that it will never happen because of his "Baggage" (he has a daughter). QUOTE] Have you actually seen the text sent between them or are you only going by what she says? This part really bothers me: she claims to tell him to leave her alone and that it will never happen because of his "Baggage" Shouldn't the reason for it to never happen again be because she has a boyfriend that she is committed to? So if he didn't have a daughter then it might happen again? It's possible that she may have feelings for both of you. I'm sure she does feel bad about kissing him when she had a boyfriend and that is why she was upfront with you. She knows she was wrong. That doesn't necessarily mean she regrets the actual kiss, just the fact that she did it while having a boyfriend. Link to comment
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