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How to cope with the loneliness and the constant pining?


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How do you get over your ex?? Each day I seem to feel worse than I did before and I just keep feeling lonelier and lonelier. I don't really have a lot of friends and the main ones I talk to are busy with their own lives. Which gives me more time to dwell and think about him constantly. I left my ex because he basically wasn't into me as much as I was into him. I told him how I felt and he basically showed me the door which hurted like hell.

 

I don't understand how someone could be so caring in the beginning and then later become so cold. Memories of the times we were happy constantly race through my mind and it haunts me at night when I'm sleeping to the point where I cry and cry myself to sleep. My days are so lonely and I'm so lost and lone.. I don't know what to do or how to pick up the pieces to move on.

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I am really sorry you have to go though this honey. If you are near your family, just spend more time with them. Get busy, that is the best thing you can do for yourself. If you have time to think about him, you will think and make a hell for yourself. Just get busy with friends, hobbies and different things. through time you will forget him.

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totally understand what you're going through, i know how hard it is... it's like after the break up all you can think of are the happy times and everything you do will remind you of them, even if you weren't so easily reminded before when you were together...

 

now i tell myself all the time that the best revenge and the best way to move forward is to to live well... pick yourself up, you can picture your life without him... you didn't need him before and you sure as hell don't need him now to keep you happy...

 

do things you never dreamed of doing before, take up a new hobby, learn a new skill, look at your advance schedule and just fill it up with things to do so you're not left alone with your thoughts too much of the time...

 

good luck and come back here and vent if you need to...

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i'm right there with all of you guys. I meant to go to bed early yesterday and wake up early to study...but instead I slept for 10 hours and dreamt of him. I dreamt of going back 1 year ago and looking at him and telling him that we wouldn't be together a year from now. My ex looked shocked in my dream and told me I was crazy. What a horrible dream to have!! I feel so down now. It's been 3 months and I am sick of feeling bad when I know that my ex has moved on.

 

Ms.Lady, like everyone says, keeping busy is REALLY the best thing you can do. I am currently considering pursuing another degree in a different city...and I'll admit it, part of the reason is to get away from here. Time does heal...it just takes forever to pass. We deserve someone that is crazy about us. BTW, I would like to commend you for leaving him. That was a big thing to do...and I admire you for seeing that. My ex was not that into me either except he ended it...and I sometimes think these are some of the hardest breakups to get over...because of the toll it takes on one's self esteem.

 

PM me if you need someone to talk.

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I know how you feel.

 

Week one was horrible, week 2 and 3 were better and now it seems like everything is heading towards worst. I can't sleep and even though I'm trying to keep busy and hang out with friends, I keep on waking up in the middle of the night and all the good and bad things start running through my head.

 

Trying to be happy is the best revange though.

 

THis too shall pass...

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Feelings of hurt and anger seem to fade with time so when you think about the relationship all you remember is the good. The bad memories seem to fade away. You are not remembering the real relationship. Take some time and really think about how you felt when you broke up with him. Remember the anger and the hurt you were feeling. Write these feelings down on paper. List every bad memory you can possibly think of. After awhile you are going to see the relationship as it really was and not this fabrication that you are currently remembering in your mind.

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I know what your going through and I definitley agree with staying busy. You don't want to do what I did today; which was sleep in / lay in bed until 2pm, then get up and watch TV and eat some pizza, and then go to work from 5pm-1am. And I've been thinking about my ex all day as a result. Also does anybody ever find that when your making progress in getting over your ex during the post break-up time, thats when you feel the most down and are thinking about your ex even more? For example me and my ex have been broken up for a little over a month, and last night I went on the first date I've been on since she dumped me (technically the second, but I'm not counting the first one, its complicated.). I guess the date went well overall, but when I got home from it and when I woke up this morning all I could think about was my ex and the good times we spent together, the exact opposite thing I should be thinking about it. I just don't want to feel this way anymore, I feel like I'm regressing when in reality I'm progressing.

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I totally know how you feel! Its so bad that I started cancelling dates because I know how I will feel when I get home/wake up. Its a no win situation! I guess what it really means is that we are not over it yet, but at the same time, I try to tell myself that by going out there I am speeding up the process. I have to admit that after months of this nonsense ,I went on a "meet n greet" last night (dont call them dates and you wont have bad ones!), and found that I was VERY slightly attracted to this person. He isnt who I am looking for, but I found him attractive. Isnt that progress? give it time.

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My situation was similar to yours and I am struggling also. I can't offer any other advice that is different to what has been said but I can throw my support behind you.

 

I had the same problem and the relationship became one sided. The worst thing was that she didn't even try to change my mind and though I think she was shocked, it broke my heart.

 

It will pass, you have to remember who you were before you met them and try to get back to that stage.

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Lost the Love Of Your Love? Watch T...
Lost the Love Of Your Love? Watch This!

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