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So its been half a year since our breakup. We've gone NC for a month and a half, with little bits of NC for the first 4-5months but with me breaking it because I wanted her back so much.

 

Half a year later, I still care about her so much, and I just found out she has begun dating a new guy now.

 

It's hurting me so much right now, and I've gone into the state that I was at when we first broke up. I'm lying down, and have no motivation to do anything. I know some of you might have experiences similar things, so I want to know how you guys dealt with it.

 

It's actually scaring me a little. I've always been morbid and contemplated suicide, but I'm not dumb enough to actually do it. I know how it'll pain those around me if I do, and how selfish it is. But lately I've been asking myself, what do I have to live for? But still, I am strong enough not to try to kill myself, and probably never will.

 

Lastly, I have OCD. She dumped me. Does wanting her back have something to do with the obsessive nature of OCD?

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i am in your shoes. dont even entertain the thoughts of suicide you have no idea what is ahead of you.

 

it gets better. all we can do is own up to our part of the mistake, humble ourselves, ask for their forgiveness, leave room for reconciliation, and leave the ball on their court.

 

What they do with the ball is really up to them. But first make peace with yourself by genuinely apologizing and owning up to your own mistakes. It disarms them and creates a heart of forgiveness on their part. You cannot confront people who wronged you if they think that they've been wronged. Person with the greater insight should swallow his/her pride and be the first to forgive. Even if they return hostility to you for your kind gesture, do not retaliate. Just leave it at that. Leave the bridge intact for them to cross in the future if they have a change in heart. As for you, know that what you did pleased God and that your part of guilt has been forgiven. Have peace and go on about your day.

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My ex too is seeing someone. It is truly the only thing that still hurts me. Waves of pain come when I think of my ex and the guy together.

 

You do have a lot to live for. I know times like these makes it seem like everything is crashing down. A quote I really like from Vanilla Sky is that "The sweet is never as sweet without the sour." You appreciate things much more when you have a taste of the sour.

 

I don't know if OCD contributes to the problems of a breakup, but I can tell you that I feel horrible, and I don't have OCD. I think it is just the nature of a breakup. Barell through it and things will begin looking up even if it seems to take forever. What is a year of pain out of your life? Isn't that year worth the time you had together with your ex? It was for me... I think.

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I think that it is very normal after a break up that has been six months to a year, maybe even two years - for the person to relapse back to square one with their emotions when they find out the person who left them is dating someone new. This is normal and i don't think it is really a symptom of your OCD.

 

Something about having to imagine that person who you obviously were hurt by during the break up hurts like crazy when you think of them in the arms of another. It's normal that you relapsed. You'll get back to where you were in time. Try very hard to push the thoughts out of your head when they enter.

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I feel for you greatly man. My ex is currently dating someone new, and when I first found out, I was a mess. I even wrote out a suicide not, but of course just the thought of all the people I love was enough to stop it from going further. This was a few weeks ago, and I'm doing a lot better as of now.

 

What helped me the most, is just forcing myself to go out and do fun things with friends. It was almost like a lightbulb went off one day and I just said, "I can't keep doing this". I had to keep busy, because if I didn't the thoughts would consume me. Things will get better, and I know you may be in a dark place now, but think of what great things might come for you tomorrow. I wish you the best man.

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I am the same, you're not alone. It completely crushed me when I found out: I felt disposed of, rejected, my self-confidence dropped to zero, I was angry at her ("HOW could she move on and find someone better than ME?"), but the only thing I can say - and I hate to - is that time and complete no contact is your friend. It's the only thing getting me through the weeks of pain. It comes in waves, I'll be fine for two days then low again for three, but I am slowly starting to accept it. Write a journal, it helped me.

 

Even though you don't feel like it now, try and keep busy. You will slowly realise as I did that there is a whole world out there waiting for you and you DO have a future! Not the one you envisaged, but a new one instead. It sounds crazy to hear it now, but the unknown is quite exciting...

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I know how you feel. I just found out my ex has a new girlfriend and is really happy with her; it sucks. period.

 

As much as it hurts, I have been reminding myself that the worst it over. When we broke up, I always worried about her finding someone new...feeling that I could never really deal with the breakup until she fell in love with someone else. That has happened already. What do we have to fear now?

 

I do feel like we just broke up though..everything stings, and I just want to stay in bed and cry.

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I'm going through my first break up, it's been just over 3 months now.

My first relationship, my first love.

 

My ex-bf doesn't have a new girl YET but I know that when it happens I'll be back to square one all over again.

I'm dreading the day it comes and I'm trying to prepare my mind for it so it doesn't come as such a shock...but I think it's one of those things that you can never fully be ready for and you just gotta suck it up and accept it when the day actually does come.

 

I'm seriously scared to death just anticipating it...but until then, I gotta keep moving on.

 

I wish you the best! Keep staying strong!

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Thanks everyone. I'm just worried as I have finals coming up. When we broke up, it was during midterms last semester and I flunked them along with my finals. I finally brought my grades back up this semester and did pretty well on my midterms, but I'm scared that I will again bomb my finals because of this.

 

Anyways, today I seem fine, but I don't know if tomorrow will be the same. Thanks for the support everyone.

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Stay strong pal. I can understand how difficult it is to focus on something important when you feel terrible inside. It helps a lot to give yourself time to grieve and be sad; like set aside an hour of the day where you don't have to do anything else. After you take some time to yourself, just make the effort to focus on the other things that require your attention.

 

Don't forget to give yourself breaks and rewards after everything you accomplish; it's tough, but don't give up. Keep talking to people about your emotions; it's not good to keep things bottled up inside.

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As you can see, you're not alone.

 

Whether you've dumped or been dumped, its painful to see or even imagine someone you love(d) with a new person. There's no way to get past it. You can't change how you feel about someone with the snap of a finger, you can't tell her to stop dating him. What you can do is think of all the reasons your relationship didn't work. The way that girls get past a breakup is by doing whatever they can to hate their ex. Maybe you should try it too. Think about the things you hated about her and magnify those features to the point that you think "i'm better off without her". Make a bigger effort to meet new people. There's no such thing as a "one", and if their is, then there are more than one "one"s. It'll take some time. I broke up with a girl a little over two years ago. I moved on in a few months, but even today when I hear that she's been dating new guys it gets me a little. But there's something and someone for everyone, so quit worrying, get those dirty horrible images out of your head, and open up to the world.

Also don't forget, you won't find love, love will find you, and if you've found it (that is to say if you've been putting a ton of effort into your search and think you've found love) then its not real, but it could serve as a good distraction.

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he even sent me a pic of the 2 of them together after it had only been aweek since we were last together...

He has a drinking and drug problem and I want to be there for him

but its too hard now but its also too hard to stop calling him... why cant I just put the damn phone down

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All I Ever Wanted Was to Love You
All I Ever Wanted Was to Love You

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