lostsomewhere Posted March 20, 2009 Share Posted March 20, 2009 Keep in mind she is dating someone else, She calls/texts me all the time, and gets upset when I dont She wants to meet up for lunch Instead of going to Chicago with her new bf for easter break she wants to stay with me at my place for 5 days Link to comment
Decaf08 Posted March 20, 2009 Share Posted March 20, 2009 Doesn't really sound like it, She'll want you back when her behaviour actually shows that. Her getting upset when you don't call/text only shows that she wants attention from you. That's pretty much it bud. Until she's no longer with her bf, don't read so much into it. You should set yourself some boundaries and clarify what's going on between the two of you to avoid further confusion. The last thing you want is to be her emotional crutch while she reaps in the benefits of love from somebody else. Take care. Link to comment
philove Posted March 20, 2009 Share Posted March 20, 2009 Until she dumps him and says I want you back, carry on with your life. Link to comment
Casey13 Posted March 20, 2009 Share Posted March 20, 2009 Too difficult to tell by just those signs. I would assume she would break up with her man first if she was really into you so until that happens I dont think shes coming onto you but you just never know Link to comment
rivercitystein Posted March 20, 2009 Share Posted March 20, 2009 I think she probably misses you a bit, but she really likes the fact that she still has your attention, but I don't think she wants you back. If she did, the BF would be gone. Link to comment
DN Posted March 20, 2009 Share Posted March 20, 2009 She wants to meet up for lunch Instead of going to Chicago with her new bf for easter break she wants to stay with me at my place for 5 days My answer to her would that I would think about that - if she didn't have a boyfriend. But since she does - then the answer would be no. Link to comment
GeneralLee Posted March 20, 2009 Share Posted March 20, 2009 Hey bud, sorry to hear about your break-up they can be rough. You didn't give many details, but the way it sounds, shes keeping you on the back-burner in case BF#2 doesn't work out. I'm willing to bet that she hasn't been dating this guy for very long and shes keeping you as a fallback in case things with him go pear-shaped. Don't operate under the assumption that she wants you back, just move on, see other women, and try not to initiate contact with her. Treat her as you would a friend, and nothing more. No matter how vehemently women defend their moral high-ground in this cold-war of the sexes, they can be game-players to rival any man out there. So don't put it past her to be trying to keep you available to her through feigned re-interest. As I said, don't initiate contact. If she initiates, fine, but don't text or call her all the time or go out of your way to go see her. These behaviors arouse a certain amount of contempt in the female heart and will only hurt what little chance there is that she'll come back. Any decision to try and come back to you is hers alone, and nothing you can do will swing things in your favor. And even if she does want to come back, I personally wouldn't take her. If she broke up with you and found another boyfriend, then she obviously thought you weren't good enough, and you don't need people like that in your life. Link to comment
FriendnorFoe Posted March 20, 2009 Share Posted March 20, 2009 Until she dumps him and says I want you back, carry on with your life. agreed, you dont want to be her fall back guy Link to comment
lostsomewhere Posted March 26, 2009 Author Share Posted March 26, 2009 you can read my full story in my thread confused and need advice, ok so after I keep trying NC she keeps getting in touch yesterday we had a great talk and she said she couldnt wait to talk to me tomorrow(today) around 10pm i havent heard from her so I send her a text asking why she didnt call me(looking back big mistake) all she said was sorry busy, Ill call ya right before easter break so you can pick me up we can talk then, she obvisouly has no respect for me, and i dont need someone like that, so i told her that i didnt want her staying with me and I thought it was a bad idea, nothing yet however today is day 1 of NC, and I mean total NC if she tries contacting me I will not answer!!! Ill give her the gift of missing me and letting her new bf try to fill my shoes, starting right now NC NC NC! Link to comment
JadedStar Posted March 26, 2009 Share Posted March 26, 2009 It sounds like she just enjoys having you at her beck and call and i would end the communication asap. It's selfish for her to want you responding and such when she is with someone else. It is disrespectful to you and him. She sounds like she is playing you both like a fiddle and enjoying the attention. Link to comment
lostsomewhere Posted April 4, 2009 Author Share Posted April 4, 2009 Ok so update(you can read my story on my previous thread) since I have moved to st louis(its been 1 week) I have seen her 3 times, the first time was for dinner and everything was good until the end when she started fighting about the past, we don't talk for 2 days, she calls me up and comes to apt and we hang out, she starts asking about this girl I went on a date with, then starts to flirt with me, she sleeps over and says don't cross this line in bed, then she crosses it, starts flirting and yea you can figure out what happenend(she stills has her rebound bf) then 2 days later she calls me asking how she should break up with her bf, I give my 2 cents, we go shopping the next day things get hot and heavy in a changing room, we hold hands etc... On the way back I find out she didn't break up with her bf, so I tell her that I won't play 2nd fiddle I deserve better than that and she needs to figure out what she wants she says ok and I drop her off, we talked the next morning about our nights and then she had to catch a plane for a weekend business group retreat for school so she won't have reception, I'm hoping she decides on me, but right now I'm at the point where it wouldn't matter, any thoughts or opinions? Link to comment
lostsomewhere Posted April 4, 2009 Author Share Posted April 4, 2009 Side note: I don't intiate contact she does, she got mad when she saw me looking at another girl and I said we're not together to which she didn't say anything she just put her arm around me, also she keeps saying she loves me and misses me, calling me baby, and thanking me and telling me how proud she is of me and how much she looks up to me, Link to comment
caligirl98 Posted April 4, 2009 Share Posted April 4, 2009 Hmmm she is still giving lots of signs that she wants you. I think you have a fairly good shot at getting her back at this point butttt she has to make the decision and you have to let her be. I would say do NC or LC but reading your story I think you have a fairly good shot at getting her back. Don't yell at me if I turn out wrong lol Link to comment
ScorpiGal83 Posted April 5, 2009 Share Posted April 5, 2009 Until she dumps her bf, you need to tell her ur off limits! Link to comment
lostsomewhere Posted April 6, 2009 Author Share Posted April 6, 2009 Thanks for your responses, tonight we had dinner, she was very touchy feely the way there, cuddled up to me as we waited to be seated, then as I dropped her off she looked like she wanted to say something and kinda lingered for a minute, after words she apologized for being 'off'. When I asked her why she was she just said school work and other stuff, I guess she is keeping me a secret from her bf, I don't want to push her into a decision, however I'm not going to play 2nd fiddle for long either Link to comment
lostsomewhere Posted April 11, 2009 Author Share Posted April 11, 2009 So today she called me and literally pleaded me to come to her place to hang out before she had to work, however b/c of my job I couldn't, she sound sad, and later started to text me, at point she brought up a date I had yesterday(I told my ex I would leave the door open for us but I wasn't going to wait by it) and she said "I'm ok with you seeing other people(like I need her approval), I think you should date this new girl, btw you looked really cute the other night" I told her my love life is none of her business anymore unless it involves us, and she got mad, like really mad and called me an * * * * * * * ...why? Link to comment
DN Posted April 11, 2009 Share Posted April 11, 2009 ...why?Because she feels she is losing her power over you. Link to comment
OrangeMoon Posted April 11, 2009 Share Posted April 11, 2009 i am sorry..but this girl is nothing but bad news imo..go focus on yourself and have fun with dating new girls.. your ex's scent has manipulation all over it. The girl needs to get her act together..but she has to do this on her own..otherwise she will flake on you again.. I know it is really hard to do..but at one point you are going to have to ask yourself if you feel you are worth all of this ambivalence from her? Do you feel that a woman who is full of love for you would treat you this way? She finishes things off with you, then leaves you hanging, then cheats on her rebound ( just because she cheats on him with you..does NOT make it right..because she obviously sleeps with him too) then throws a fit because you are showing her you have your own life. What person with true loving feelings..does that? If she wants you..she needs to do the mature thing..talk to her rebound and end it civilly with him and ask you back..plain and simple. If she's not willing to do that or dragging her feet a lot..you should wonder how deep her feelings for you go... Get to steppin and move your cute ass over to a nice and sweet girl who does not carry all that negative bagage and who is willing to be there for you... Link to comment
lostsomewhere Posted April 16, 2009 Author Share Posted April 16, 2009 So monday night we hung out at her place, we cuddled and did other things *ahem* and after words she poured her heart out saying how she still thinks about me all the time, misses me in her life, thinks of me as her future spouse, how she will always make time for me no matter what, so the next day I decided to see if she would so I asked for a last minute dinner in which she not only accepted but left her bf and his friends at the bar for me, we had a great time and she asked if she could come look at my new apt later this week, I feel like I'm getting closer to winning her back but she still has her rebound bf and I have already made it clear that I won't be guy #2 I'm deserve better and I feel like the time to back up words is coming soon, otherwise ill be stuck in this limbo Link to comment
Brownstone322 Posted April 16, 2009 Share Posted April 16, 2009 SI feel like I'm getting closer to winning her back but she still has her rebound bf and I have already made it clear that I won't be guy #2 I'm deserve better ... Just don't forget those words, your own words. Don't lose sight of the ball. Anything less than No. 1 is off the table. Link to comment
DN Posted April 16, 2009 Share Posted April 16, 2009 You are already accepting less than you should if she is being sexual with you at the same time she is still with her boyfriend. Link to comment
lostsomewhere Posted April 16, 2009 Author Share Posted April 16, 2009 Thanks for your replies guys! So should I bring it up again(if so how?) Or should I just slowly start distance myself from her to show I am serious? Link to comment
DN Posted April 16, 2009 Share Posted April 16, 2009 You should tell her that if and when she breaks away from her boyfriend you will consider getting back into a relationship with her but until that happens you are going to assume there is nothing in the future between you and are going to move on. Link to comment
vertigoxo Posted April 18, 2009 Share Posted April 18, 2009 You want her back? Then do this. Ready? Move on. That's right, move on. Go out, be with your loved ones, date around, be in a relationship with a girl who actually does want to be with you and love you, unlike your nasty ex. Stop having sex with her. Stop spending time with her. Stop talking to her. Basically, just drop out of her life. Once she sees that you're not her puppet, she'll freak out and maybe reconsider her decisions. Link to comment
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