fantasyangel Posted March 20, 2009 Share Posted March 20, 2009 So there's this guy I had an interest in for awhile, apparently my roommate thought the same after I started hanging out with him more. She would often flirt with him right in front of me, offering to give him back massages too. Last week I had already decided I didn't want to upset her so I backed off...not that I was really doing anything in the first place...we all just hung out together. Apparently my roommate did the exact opposite...she said she was backing off but instead throws herself on him and makes out with him on night at a club. (Note: she was the one that always seemed very aggressive, not him. And I guess, what guy isn't going to reciprocate??) I was kinda peeved cause I'm like, is it right for you to do that to your friend especially when they're your roommate? I was obviously upset and she asks me if it's okay if they decide to date. I felt trapped and said yeah it's fine if they date. But, apparently he told her he didn't know what he wanted cause there's another girl in the picture and he's going on a cruise with her in May. He really liked her over the summer, but he kinda put himself out there and she turned him down. I believe she was engaged when he admit his feelings but now she's not engaged anymore. So he told my roommate he doesn't know what he wants, and that he considered BOTH of us platonic friends. Fast forward to the next weekend, my roommates want to go to one club, the guy and I were sitting at my place and he asked me what I wanted to do. He said he would be down for whatever. I decide to go to another club to meet up with other guy friends and he joins me. He seemed more affectionate with me than he ever was with her. At the end of the night back at my place, we're in the living room watching tv and he's obviously very aggressive with me and he says "if you remember this in the morning, please don't hate me" and tries to kiss me. I freak out and I'm like " * * * are you doing?!" Cause I mean, he was just making out and sleeping over in my roommate's room just a week ago. He says he's sorry he just needed to find out the truth, that he'll "do anything to find out the truth" and I'm like * * * does that mean? He says he needed to know if I would kiss back: if I would choose logic or emotion. He tells my roommate later that he did this to "make sure he didn't like me" (he says he told me this too but I don't remember it). Then he says to me "can we stay friends? platonic friends?", and it's not that nothing will ever happen...that he doesn't know what'll happen in the future Anyway, I wonder what the situation would be like if my roommate never threw herself on him...and what would've happened if I had actually kissed back. If he would be sticking to his "oh it didn't mean anything I just needed to know the truth" story. He also said after that "with the way you're acting, I WOULD choose your roommate over you" and I was like what the hell does that mean, and he said "you're acting like a scared little girl that's afraid to get hurt". Later he explains that he didn't mean it in a bad way, it just means I'm human. At one point he said something about how my roommate threw herself on him, so even if there was something here, how can he do anything about it now? And everyone that talks to me, without me even bringing it up tells me they can tell he likes me. I'd shrug it off if it was just one or two people, but it's a lot more than that. Can anyone decipher what's going on? I actually like this guy....and I feel like my roommate messed it all up. Thanks in advance for any advice =) Link to comment
orangesoda Posted March 20, 2009 Share Posted March 20, 2009 not sure why women get confused when it seems so clear to us guys - the guy's playing the field, enjoying the single life. he's obviously pretty attractive if he's got this many girls interested in him, so I doubt he's looking to settle down. your roomate kind of backstabbed you but i don't think she really 'ruined' anything, i just don't think this guy's looking for a committed relationship when he's got some many flavors to taste. I think he 'likes' you as in he'd like some action, but i don't think he's looking for 'the one'. Link to comment
Dragunov-21 Posted March 20, 2009 Share Posted March 20, 2009 I'm sorry, but this guy should have alarmbells ringing... Just, the way he's acting seems a little off, you know? I mean, if you're just looking for a bit of a fling, go for it, but... I'd be very careful if you're looking for something serious... not sure why women get confused when it seems so clear to us guys. Prolly because guys can figure out guys better than most girls can lol. That, and seeing your mates doing something a hundred times tends to lend a little in the way of experience lol... Link to comment
angellight Posted March 20, 2009 Share Posted March 20, 2009 Had you kissed him back he would be seeing you on the side behind your roommates back (if you allowed this)...Had you been the one to throw yourself at him instead of your roommate, he would be seeing YOU and KISSING YOUR ROOMMATE behind your back (also seeing her on the side if she allowed it). Do you really think he would have mentioned the situation to your roommate had you gone along with it???? I think NOT... He would simply have let the whole thing keep going and let it play out until he finally got caught... It's only a matter of time till your roommate finds out he has been sleeping with other people behind her back.. He is already playing you both telling her he wanted to make sure he didnt like you and telling you she threw herself at me.... He is also covering his tracks by making sure she knows he likes you both as platonic friends...Now when she finds out there are other women he can say "I told you I liked you and your roommate as platonic friends....he is actually very transparent if you just take the time to step back and view the situation in an uninvolved manner .... HE IS A CLASSICAL CASE OF A PLAYER... Be happy he is not your problem and find a good man.... Link to comment
fantasyangel Posted March 20, 2009 Author Share Posted March 20, 2009 Actually, he was the one that brought up telling my roommate he tried to kiss me. And also, he's NOT one of the guys you would see and expect to be a player, cause otherwise I would've been much more cautious. He's like, 5'4, scrawny, and kinda looks like a little kid. He always seemed more or less innocent and inexperienced to me. Link to comment
angellight Posted March 20, 2009 Share Posted March 20, 2009 Actually, he was the one that brought up telling my roommate he tried to kiss me. Of course he did wanted to beat you to the punch sillly.... And also, he's NOT one of the guys you would see and expect to be a player, cause otherwise I would've been much more cautious. He's like, 5'4, scrawny, and kinda looks like a little kid. He always seemed more or less innocent and inexperienced to me. ....and you are interested in him whyyyyyyy???? Link to comment
Ariel85 Posted March 20, 2009 Share Posted March 20, 2009 I agree with Orange. This one isn't tough to decifer, hon. The guy is playing ALL of you. Link to comment
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