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Don't know if I should try it or not


circi
Starting Over In a Relationship - B...
Starting Over In a Relationship - Beginners Guide

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I was in a long relationship that left me with some serious trust issues. The breakup was over a year ago, but it lingered on until a few months ago when we finally ceased contact. I'm just now starting to feel like myself again, and am willing to try having another relationship. I've dated since the split, but the interest level just wasn't there on my part and I hurt a few guys that didn't deserve it.

 

In my group of friends there is a guy who I know casually. When I first met him I was with the ex still, and he was married, so though we did a little light flirting I'm sure neither of us gave it any thought. Even back then, 2yrs ago or more, I was told his marriage was dead both by him and our mutual friends.

 

Apparently he's now either in the process of divorce and has been living with a friend for the last 2 months.

 

A big group of us were out and 4 of us (my friend, her boyfriend, me, and this guy) were supposed to meet somewhere else after he dropped his friend off. He was VERY flirty. Well we decided to go eat and instead of us going to meet him we went home afterwards. When he found out we weren't coming he got my phone number from them and called me but I was half asleep and not interested in getting dressed again. We had been doing some drinking and my thought was that he was probably just interested in trying to get laid.

 

The next day my friend told me he had been asking about me before we all got to drinking too much, and then tonight she called to tell me he had been asking her boyfriend about me. This weekend, the group of us are getting together again and he asked if I would be there.

 

My friend thinks this guy is great and is really pushing me to go out with him. I can't help but wonder if it's even worth giving a try, 2 months is not a long time apart. And if I did date him and things went sour, we hang with many of the same people which could potentially cause issues. Or maybe I'm just using this as an excuse to avoid dating, that's what my friend thinks.

 

I need unbiased opinions. Should I give this guy a try or should I keep my distance?

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This is a hard one. I would be very wary of the fact that he's only been apart from his partner for 2 months and is still going through the process of divorce. He could be rebounding, and also you never know what the future will bring in terms of his relationship with his previous partner. If I were you, I would pursue a little more to suss out the situation - but as I said I would be incredibly wary.

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Thats a tough one where I see your point but also your friends'. One one hand you could be missing out on something great if you dont give him a shot yet on another you can create a weird environment if things dont work out since you all share the same friends. I would say go for it because if you turn him down it will be a bit weird anyway to begin with and you may find something good with him you just never know. If things dont work out im sure the both of you could be mature enough about it to still maintain your existing friendships.

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2 months apart from his wife is speaking technically however in most of these cases the relationship was over long before that, the divorce usually happens a long time after two people detached from each other emotionally already. I wouldnt factor this in as a big issue.

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2 months apart from his wife is speaking technically however in most of these cases the relationship was over long before that, the divorce usually happens a long time after two people detached from each other emotionally already. I wouldnt factor this in as a big issue.

 

 

Even if their feelings on both sides are dead, divorce is messy business. If we were to start dating I would surely have to hear about it and don't know if I'm up to being anyone's emotional support at this point.

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