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Name calling


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How does one cope with being called a 'fag'? It seems to be a popular moniker for me among passerby.


The fact that I'm 100% straight is obviously besides the point; I've had a few gay friends.


I think there are a few aspects which make me a target:

1. My muscular dystrophy gives me a swaying gait.

2. I wear a bracelet.

3. I don't pay attention to style or clothing.

4. I'm usually not clean shaven.

5. I walk/bike alone.

6. I look younger than my age.


None of which I should have to change - just pointing them out.


What's more, my sexual orientation isn't only mistaken by punks hanging out their car windows. People who are quite familiar with me think I'm gay. In this context, I'm not so much offended as annoyed and a bit hurt, as sensitive as I am to other people's thoughts...

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I find that people who name call are usually sad or attention seeking individuals who only do it to validate thee own ego. The fact that you are on your own or seem different only aids them I say you should be proud of your individuality and pity those who feel they need to put you down because of this. You fit into the crowd and inevitably you will fade away stand out and be proud.

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How to cope with this? Keep reminding yourself that the names others call you, and the way they treat you, is a statement of who THEY are, not who you are. It is their problem, and not yours. Let their thoughts stay exactly where they belong - with them.


If there are aspects of your life which trouble you, you do have some choice in how you deal with this, but if you're content with the way you handle your own clothing/style etc, then don't let others spoil this for you. Sorry to hear about the muscular dystrophy, by the way - how serious is your prognosis, if you don't mind me asking?


Everyone, no matter how rich, beautiful, famous or glamorous, will always have someone else ready to do them down or laugh at them. It's only a problem if you take it on board, and you can choose whether to do this or not.

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Thanks for the responses - sympathy can help a lot.


Kaz, I like your perspective... I think some version of that was in the back of my head, but needed to be pulled to the front.


Everyone, no matter how rich, beautiful, famous or glamorous, will always have someone else ready to do them down or laugh at them.


Very interesting... and true! I never considered this.


As for my MD, it's an unknown type, so the prognosis is pretty hazy... it has certainly worsened over the years (When I was young I skied and could run), though slowly, which I'm thankful for.

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"Fag" is one of the most unoriginal insults in the book. I've been called it countless times, just because I'm who I want to be and am unusually short and not athletic or the tired and true definition of "masculine". People are gonna believe whatever they want anyways, so I usually make like the kid from "American Beauty" and end up telling them I am gay in a jokingly manner.


That usually shuts them up, even though it took quite a leap of faith (still does) to pull it off.

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