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When to confront guy about commitment….want to do the right thing though


enchanted771

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Just want a general idea in this topic. I know there are different situations, but I have to prepare myself. So, right now I am dating. Some, I would date, we would talk for a while and then we just wouldn’t talk anymore. Anyways, I have been talking to this guy for over a month, but we really haven’t hung out much at all, and I don’t want to push it at this point. We talk everyday, so I take that as a good sign. Anyways, at what point (6-months or what) do I approach him about where our relationship is going? And also, I don’t want to accuse him of NOT wanting a relationship or vice versa. Just trying to get an idea. I don’t want a relationship right now, but I might down the road as I grow closer to him..that’s the idea right? Not talking marriage but bf/gf.

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I suggest that you take it as it. There is no certain time frame that you have to follow in order to be exclusive. As long as both of your hearts are in the right place, you'll know when the time is right. I would hold off on the whole marriage thing until you guys get more acquainted. Good luck.

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I think after a month it is OK to ask if he wants to be exclusive and not date others... but to ask for marriage or any other big future at this point is premature.

 

But you can agree that you'll only see each other at this point, and then i'd in a few months ask about whether you are boyfriend/girlfriend.

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In today's world asking to be exclusive is just par for the course due to STDs etc. Many won't even have sex until they've agreed to be exclusive and have both been tested.

 

I personally wouldn't invest a lot of time and heart in someone who was dating a lot of people at once. I don't believe in asking them to make a verbal commitment of love or to be together forever until much later in, at least a year, but i think it is natural and healthy to date only one person at once if you are looking for a partner ultimately rather than just a good time.

 

If a guy doesn't agree to be exclusive that's a sign he just isn't that into you and is still looking around, or else has someone he is more interested in than you and you are just the side dish. I'd certainly want to know that after a month there is no one else, and if there is, i might consider stopping dating the person until he decides he wants to be exclusive.

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Asking to be exclusive is too much at this point, but if he's talking to you on the phone every day, he's going to be open to the idea of talking about the direction that your interaction is going. As for not wanting a relationship right now, the good news is, you've got several weeks to work with here. I wouldn't string him past 3 months, however. He's putting time into this, so be courteous and let him know before too long.

 

Basically ask him what he's looking for when dating. He will answer that and probably truthfully. If he's willing to talk to you on the phone without any interaction face-to-face he's got more interest in you than just sex probably.

 

Sounds like a good thing you've got going on. I would also try to see him in person more often. Replace two or three days of phone conversations with a dinner/movie date. Make him want to see you again in the future. You can ask him out, or drop a hint that there's a movie you want to see, however you like to go about that.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Well, I bit the bullet and approached him with caution. I just had to make sure that he wasn’t looking for a f buddy. I guess to some, that might be acceptable but it wouldn’t be for me. Anyways, so I got the answer I was looking for, so I am happy I approached him. Otherwise, I would have gone another month not knowing what was going on!

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5 Red Flags In Relationships
5 Red Flags In Relationships

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