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What is Guilt?


allypally
What To Do About Break Up Guilt
What To Do About Break Up Guilt

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The word "guilt" is used a lot by my SO, but how powerful is the emotion behind it??

 

What does it really mean??

 

Is guilt a way of protecting ourselves from the disgust we feel towards ourselves??

 

Do we feel more guilty because others have used emotional blackmail to make us feel that way??

 

How many people can live with the guilt of a terrible action before it eventually consumes them?

 

I am curious as to the levels of guilt out there and when someone tells you that they would feel guilty about doing something, does it really mean something/have weight behind it?

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This is just my opinion, but I tend to view guilt as an excuse for inaction. By feeling guilty about past events, we press ourselves down into obsessive self-reflection which does nothing good for the future. Our mistakes can be used to help other people if we'll let the past be the past and start changing ourselves and our actions. But as long as we hold onto guilt, we are handicapped to help others. So guilt is really a selfish emotion, and although it's sometimes understandable for a little while, it really needs to be let go of as quickly as possible.

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That word Guilt. To me, Guilt is a terrible emotion to deal with. I have always suffered with it. Some people feel that they should feel guilty for even being on this earth, some people feel bad about past experience, childhood experiences, where they feel they were to blame, so they feel they don't deserve any happinness, therefore, they are in self-destruct mode and will create drama and arguments.

 

Guilt for me is being needy and possessive with your boyfriend, having an argument and telling him you hate him and then he dies the next night, before you got a chance to see/speak to him again.

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If you feel self guilt it is because you acknowledge your wrong doing. If someone causes you to feel guilty then you have maybe done something wrong or they are playing mind control games to test your self esteem.

If guilt consumes you then it means you cannot forgive yourself. The truth is that you must forgive yourself so you can move on..learn

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If he had asked me if I had considered cheating on him - 2 things would come to mind

 

1) I have no desire to.

2) We are about to make a commitment to spend the rest of our lives together - I don't want anyone else.

 

With him its the emotions that follow the action that he doesn't want to have to face:

 

1) Guilt

2) Not being able to live with himself.

 

NOT

 

I have no desire to - I love you and am happy with you.

 

To me this is unhealthy and a red flag.

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If he had asked me if I had considered cheating on him - 2 things would come to mind

 

1) I have no desire to.

2) We are about to make a commitment to spend the rest of our lives together - I don't want anyone else.

 

With him its the emotions that follow the action that he doesn't want to have to face:

 

1) Guilt

2) Not being able to live with himself.

 

NOT

 

I have no desire to - I love you and am happy with you.

 

To me this is unhealthy and a red flag.

You have to ask yourself why would he feel guilty?....because he loves you...

Why can he not live with himself?...because he is a man of high morals.I think you are overanalysing.

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High morals? so why would he do something stupid enough to cause me to doubt the relationship (having admitted that if I had done the same he would have doubted the relationship??).

 

He said straight after he did what he did that he had thought I would feel hurt by what he did and yet he couldn't give a reason why he did it.

 

He didn't feel guilty about it at all and was very cheerful when we were reunited.

 

Thats why I question the real meaning of guilt.

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High morals? so why would he do something stupid enough to cause me to doubt the relationship (having admitted that if I had done the same he would have doubted the relationship??).

 

He said straight after he did what he did that he had thought I would feel hurt by what he did and yet he couldn't give a reason why he did it.

 

He didn't feel guilty about it at all and was very cheerful when we were reunited.

 

Thats why I question the real meaning of guilt.

 

So he did cheat? Sorry I though it was a hypothetical situation?

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He didn't get to sleep with the girl, but he buggered off with her and left me (on holiday) and went off with her.

 

He went with her and I was left to go with other people.

 

He did it without feeling guilty - regardless.

 

Why would it be any different in a situation where I am not around??

 

I broke off the engagement for the above, now he is more cautious, but still admits to being a lad and a flirt.

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I know some people on this site will kill me for bringing this up yet again. He basically went off with the female tour guide who was flirting with him when we were on holiday (they shared a taxi ride together which took about an hour). I had asked him specifically not to because of the flirting but he did it anyway. He did it without feeling guilty and we had only got engaged the month before!

 

Thats why I question how "guilty" he would really feel if he did follow his male instincts and go for it.

 

He did what he did when I was there, why wouldn't he do it again when I'm not there?? Except that his friends are there or would they just encourage him?

 

Having said that, I don't know his friends at all, except that they are also lads

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Thats disgraceful. He just does not appreciate you honey. He would do it anywhere.He is a joke. Even my dog stays by my side..get rid of him...get someome who wants you. My male instincts are to love my woman ..not every ho which tries to flirt let alone go off with her..thats mean

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One thing that made me laugh - when I broke off the engagement the last time round and questioned him re: his behaviour, he mentioned that he isn't the kind of guy who has one night stands!

 

Unbelievable! any man who says that - you KNOW is lying.

 

And this evening? he has prioritised seeing his mate re: organising his stag do over being with me to organise our wedding DESPITE him saying that he is trying to free up more time to be with me so that we can organise it.

 

Much more fun to organise his stag do with his friend than organise his wedding (he does things last minute/on the night) when it comes to our wedding.

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