I feel life is passing by me fast and I don't know how to enjoy it.

[Caldus]

Probably the most frustrating part about all of this is that it's so hard for me to explain how I feel. I'm a really quiet and reserved person in nature. So it makes it hard for me to really explain well how I am feeling in a way that other people can understand and relate. I hold in too much and assume too many things that should be expressed.

 

I have been working for a few years now. I live alone in an apartment but really not there that often as I work a lot. Outside of work, I basically have no life. No friends, just taking a course that is in session two nights a week. Other then that, the weekends are dreadful and boring for me. I recently moved to this city a few years ago so I really don't know many people here.

 

I wish I could save up a bunch of money and just quit working for a while. Can I even do that? But even if I were in a position to do such a thing, I would not even know what to do or what I even want in life. That's the frustrating part. I don't know what I want in life. I feel like I am sitting around wasting time and not enjoying life. I feel like I don't even know how to enjoy life at all. I am following a very habitual pattern that I can't seem to break out of. I'm trapped in this boring life it seems. I have no idea what I want let alone how to achieve it. I feel like I need a humongous push or force from outside me to ever get to where I would want to be.

[wayoverit]

ahh.. "the goal of life" question.

 

The core purpose of humans beings, or any life forms, is to love, give offspring(s), and share a life outside of one's life with the offspring(s). Of course, to provide a happier environment one will need to provide the best that one can, by doing something they enjoy doing day in day out.

 

What you want is what everybody wants. Take a look around. Nice car, more money, a girlfriend, stable job.

[arwen]

Hey Caldus,

 

I think that if you have enough finances, it is possible to quit a job for a while, but you'd have to have some security that there will be a job out there for you when you start working again. It seems to me that you feel trapped in a sort of 'boredom' that can come when your life is in fact very stable and regular. You go to work 5 days, then there is the weekend. Every week the same, nothing particular to look forward to.

 

Quitting your job and traveling is a rigorous way of ending that- but there are two questions: after traveling you'd have to go back to a regular working life at some point, do you think you'd be happier then? And, relatedly, what small(er) changes could you make in this life without quitting your job?

 

Do you feel that your wish to quit and leave is the result of boredom, loneliness, or both? Because I wonder if the 'lonely' part would actually change by traveling. You are now in a position where you meet a lot of people, right? Is part of this feeling due to a feeling of being disconnected?

[dr_styles]

Good to see this thread Caldus. Saw your posts throughout the place where you briefly describe your situation and wondering how you seemed to handle it ok.

 

But you've seen the usual posts and maybe some of mine so I won't really go saying my piece again. Just the usual "me too" post.

 

One thing I'll say about the work thing is that I frequently have very similar thoughts. Work for me isn't bad but I just want that break, almost like a break from life. But on taking that break (say a day or two off) I wouldn't know what to do, and it'd do more damage to my mind to somehow think that I'd magically turn around with a break from work without doing much.

[Caldus]

ahh.. "the goal of life" question.

 

The core purpose of humans beings, or any life forms, is to love, give offspring(s), and share a life outside of one's life with the offspring(s). Of course, to provide a happier environment one will need to provide the best that one can, by doing something they enjoy doing day in day out.

 

What you want is what everybody wants. Take a look around. Nice car, more money, a girlfriend, stable job.

 

I disagree with some of your thoughts. A lot of people, including me for example, do not plan on having children.

[Caldus]

That's the thing I'm torn about: I don't even know if I would be happy once I leave the job. I feel like I need a whole new life or something. I mean, without quitting, I could still try and figure out what I want to do. I really have no clue right now though. A friend of mine said to just try your best to list out every single interest you've ever had on a piece of paper and start creating little webs and diagrams. Follow a path that interests you most. I think I'll try that out.

 

I think the wish to quit the job is more about boredom, not so much loneliness. I suppose travelling could help with the loneliness part, but I would still overall feel disconnected from people if that makes any sense. I've always felt a big disconnect between me and others.

[arwen]

I think the wish to quit the job is more about boredom, not so much loneliness. I suppose travelling could help with the loneliness part, but I would still overall feel disconnected from people if that makes any sense. I've always felt a big disconnect between me and others.

 

Is your current job challenging enough for you? I've always had the impression that you are a highly intelligent person- if you're bored with your job, finding another job could at least help in the part where every day is boring. Being bored in the weekends is bad enough, but my guess is that you'd have a better time in your weekends if you felt more fulfilled by what you do on weekdays.

 

I really like that idea of creating little webs of interests, btw. Maybe in addition, you can make lists of what your strong points are. Maybe the 'disconnected' feeling as you put is, has another side to it that you can use, like independent, observing, etc. Maybe your current job is putting more emphasis on your weaker sides than on your stronger sides, and that is why it feels boring?

 

I think for me, things (i.e. what I wanted) were became crystal clear when I took job that was really wrong for me. I was so completely miserable from day 1 in that job that I was already dreading mondays on sunday mornings. It was directly clear to me what I missed (as 'ingredients') in that job: it was not creative, it didn't push me to think outside the box, it involved too many other people and orders. I was just counting and controlling numbers, and filing papers. It dawned on me that I had to 'make' something for a living, I need to let my thoughts out in one way or another. I work in research now (which I always wanted, but jobs are so scarce and the other job was nearly 'given' to me and paid very well). If I were to choose another job and market/payment wouldn't matter... I'd be a writer or a photographer. Both are lonesome and 'observing', as is working in my branch in scientific research.

 

Maybe it will help you to think of what you'd do if you had the funds to live well by, i.e. if you don't need a job for an income.

[Caldus]

Yeah, the job is challenging. I don't feel like I'm intelligent -- maybe intelligent when it comes to some select things (which are the very things I am searching for), but overall I am just book smart in my field, that's all. I'm kinda bored with my job and also just pissed at people who work there too. I'm also pissed off and frustrated with my own life outside of work. I am not bored of it because it emphasizes my weaker sides, I don't really know why really.