Need a honest opinion!

[nilesha]

I recently broke up with a my girlfriend after a 4 and half year of relationship! Infact i was dumped....

 

My problem with her was that i was not able to give her enough time as my working hours were late and just coulding cope with the stress!

 

Moreover, she didnt make me feel in loved, it was always about wants be it material or something specific! Inital days of the relation were good as i was in love i was taking her tantrms and abideing her demands. The story begun at the time i started loosing my cool as i was not getting my space and questioned on everything including the kind of friends i should have.

 

Later, i was asked to keep away from specific friend coz she dint like them and was threated to break if i didnt keep away from them. It was quioted "i need to choose between friends or her" and i chose her and left my friends.

 

As time passed by our fights grew as i was getting frustrated, i became abusive and so did she and it just went on! Gradually we were just coping up had some cute moments and love filled times as any other couple.

 

I started taking her home, iintroduced her to my parents but that too had its on dimension. My girlfriend started having issues with my mom saying "I feel your mom doesnt like me" "how can she give me only half cup of tea" and things wenton

 

One day my dad had a a sever heartattack and he was hospitalized, he was kinda recovering and we wer all in a shatterd state. one day in the hospital my sister said smthing which my girfriend didnt like and she asked me to talk to my sis. Over this i told her I'll tak to her once dad gets out of the hospital; as usual she found me family pro and not caring for her! It wasnt that i disnt care for her i explained things the situation but she was in no mood! i dropped her home and came back to hospital where i just broke seeing my dad and mom. my girlfirned go to know about this and she came back to the hospital and created a scene asking how can i not cry to her and wat was she for, but she didnt realize that she was the cause! I felt these were the times that she should had stood by me no matter what!

 

She threated to kill her self in the hospital and gatherd huge number of people she slapped me abused and what not. Somhow we dropped her home convincing all would be fine. On the other hand dads situation just detiorated and he was taken to the ICU from wher he never came out. I lost my dad in about a weeks time.

 

She came to the funeral and spoke to me in tears, but she was crying coz she had lost her wallet and also for loosing my dad. i gave her money and asked her to go home. We go back together after sometime and some story continued with issues such as, why doesnnt your brother start working, he didnt talk properly to me, he said so many bad things when dad was in the hospital. I was getting frustrated and aske for a break off and didnt pay any heed to her for sometime!

 

On sunday she was all geared up and called me to meet her but i was just grieving my dads death. It had just been a month. Eventually she threatend to come home and create a scene, i asked her do it and i knew she would. I caled few of my frenz and told my mom about her.

 

She came in the evening asking why dint i meet her out! I tried to explain and sooth her but all in vain, she abused my aunt she accused me of being a mammas boy and even someone who couldnt take care of his own girl. She asked for all the things she had given me as gifts and i gave all she wasnt satisfied and she went to my warrobe just took allmy clothes along with the gifts surprisingly she also took my own clothes which i had bought. she took money more then dole the amount i owed her and left!

 

After 2 days she just sent her friend with the clothes and gifts, not the money say she wouldnt even want the beggers to use the clothes i touched! itook it. Next sunday she called me to meet her and i did she asked for forgiveness and patchup on which i asked for sometime and i just took her in my arms and told i wont let her go coz i love her. this happedn after about a month after the home incident.

 

We were ok for somtime but the quarrels led to fights and it was the same old story. She asked me to be with her till she complets her education and get a job. We were good till then! meanwhile iwas getting frustrated with my financial situation as dad hospital bills were huge and job was frustrating i started crying and cribbing about things! later she got her a degree and a good job and made some new friends.

 

Our fights continued as she couldnt take my tantrums and my frustration about my job! What psyched me up was when i checked her cell there were kisses for one of her friends and i broke out! she convinced me saying nthing of that sort i took it!

 

She started hiding her converasations over the phone and couldnt even give me two mins of her time in the entire day. Bottom line she started ignoring me. One Saturday we had a fight as i was ggoing out of for a frenz weeding and she wanted to meet we had a huge fight and it continued on sunday! ON monday she said she wants to break off coz its not working and doesnt have any feelings for me any more.

 

I was devastated, i tried convincing her, tried to get her back but got worse. She said that i never bought anything expensive for her, never thought about her feelings and never cared for. But i honestly know that i loved her a lot and took care of her like my child!

 

These are the hardest times for me, ive lost all of my friends, my family is sceptical about me.

 

I tried calling her, messaging her, mailing her but nthing worked she ignoreing me saying she doesnt have any feelings for me anymore. She goes out for parties and spends time with her friends, the same one whom she sent kisses and planning a vaction out with them. I am left alone with nower to go. i am devasted and have no hand to hold and no place to go!!! I AM ALL ALONE! But i still love her to death craving for one hug from her god knows if its there for me!

 

I also want to mention that she always gave me whatever i wanted materially to whatever extent she could. She did love me some point time but it wasnt constant i needed some understanding and someone who would just take me into her arms and say I am there.

 

 

long stoy but trust me i am going through hell and if anyone could help me in coping with this i would be glad

[meepmeep20]

she is a nut job.

[jul-els]

I'm sorry you had to go through that and that you are hurting but it sounds like it was ultimately for the best. Everytime we reach the end of a relationship there are lessons there for us to learn. They make us stronger in life and better able to handle the next time we fall in love. It also helps us to choose more wisely in whom we will decide to fall in love with. These are all valuable things you can take away from this experience. It will hurt for a little while but in time you'll move on and be a better person for it.

[nilesha]

Ive planned my death! wil be gone soon! thnx!

[bzborow1]

Ive planned my death! wil be gone soon! thnx!

 

Life's not over man! Sure you've been dealt a rough set of cards but it's not something you can't manage. If it helps any it would appear from your story that you are on the right side of things. In hindsight you probably should have tossed her out the second she made a scene during your dad's medical troubles, but at least its over now and you can move on with your life. There are plenty of fish in the sea.

[jul-els]

You won't accomplish anything by doing that except for deeply wounding all the people who care about you. Think about it. Is that really what you want?

[jsudz2430]

My girlfriend is the same way...and reading this and getting advice from friends really opens my eyes to the fact that it's only going to get worse. I am working on ending things but right now a lot is going on so it's not the time. She was always wanting her to be first, before friends or family and I've done that for almost 2 years now, I think it'd be better for both of us if we quit seeing each other now.