brahman Posted March 18, 2009 Share Posted March 18, 2009 Still doing the internet dating thing. Having a little more luck than before, mostly do to a few articles I got my hands on that shed some light on a few issues unknown to me. There is a girl(supposedly) that likes me and we email each other whenever we are online, but she refuses to let me see a pic of her, and yet still wants to meet me. I honestly don't know if I have the heart to tell someone who I assume to have a few things in common with, that I just don't find her attractive and do not want to date. So do I just stop it here, and say, "if you say no, then I say by?" I hate to be superficial, as I have fallen for what I look back on as, "Not so attractive," physically girls. But worst case scenario, I end up having to tell a 5ft 2" 250 pound paraplegic that I just don't like her that way, man that would kill me. Should I just bite the bullet and say okay, with the small chance that she is someone I would really like. My standards are not that high, but still I do recognize in my self a little need to have a physically attractive mate. Where do you all draw the line? Link to comment
yankeefan74 Posted March 18, 2009 Share Posted March 18, 2009 If she's seen a picture of you, then it's only fair that she show you a picture of herself. That is not an unfair expectation, and if she's not willing to meet it, then move on. Link to comment
arak Posted March 18, 2009 Share Posted March 18, 2009 no u should get her picture if shes brave enough to meet you then she should send a picture maybe shes worried itl put you off but then that saves the hassle just reason with her that its logical to view pictures of each other before you meet so as you know what to expect nothing to do with superficiallity just why make it a blind date meeting some one onlineis bad enough without it being blind as well Link to comment
uj2004 Posted March 18, 2009 Share Posted March 18, 2009 No photo, probably no date. But, being very recently single myself and probably having to go the internet route again, I will keep in my pocket that drawcard that will get you out of any obligation - if you meet, and don't like what you see, start talking about an ex, and trying to get over her. You will quickly show her its friends only (without having to say it), and she might be a good friend anyway from that point forth. Link to comment
MinziGirl Posted March 18, 2009 Share Posted March 18, 2009 No pic, no go. Why don't she wants to show you a pic of hers? Does she have anything to hide? Link to comment
waveseer Posted March 18, 2009 Share Posted March 18, 2009 Usually no picture means at least 100 lbs. overweight, count on it. Link to comment
MinziGirl Posted March 18, 2009 Share Posted March 18, 2009 Actually, i would recommend that if it possible, meet someone from your real life. There are too many people on the internet faking to be someone else that they are not. Link to comment
MinziGirl Posted March 18, 2009 Share Posted March 18, 2009 Usually no picture means at least 100 lbs. overweight, count on it. or else... she is married & you are the 3rd party. Link to comment
ghost69 Posted March 18, 2009 Share Posted March 18, 2009 gotta have the physical man. and you should probably want to see more than one to prove it's her. cause if she sends just one: 'me working on my car...my friend took the pic.' image removed you are going to be like 'what up baby?' image removed Link to comment
ghost69 Posted March 18, 2009 Share Posted March 18, 2009 Usually no picture means at least 100 lbs. overweight, count on it. or it's a guy. Link to comment
russ978 Posted March 18, 2009 Share Posted March 18, 2009 You could always meet her. If she's way overweight or whatever, just say, 'wish you'd send a pic so I could have pretended to be too busy rather than leaving the date right now' No pic? Lame! Link to comment
indierockgrl Posted March 18, 2009 Share Posted March 18, 2009 I agree... i think the spark is important... why waste your time if your not physically attracted? I WOULD SAY YES PICTURE OR NO DATE.... Link to comment
MinziGirl Posted March 18, 2009 Share Posted March 18, 2009 You could always meet her. If she's way overweight or whatever, just say, 'wish you'd send a pic so I could have pretended to be too busy rather than leaving the date right now' No pic? Lame! Tell he: pics first... lets not waste each other's time. Ok... maybe she was trying to impress you with her character but you are also entitled to the right of seeing if she is pleasant or not before deciding to send any of your time with her. Link to comment
KG Posted March 18, 2009 Share Posted March 18, 2009 Same thing here...getting Winks from women with no pics. No pics, no go. And I'm not shallow...honest! Link to comment
Binoo Posted March 18, 2009 Share Posted March 18, 2009 I think this also falls into the trust catagory. I mean, if she's hiding the way she looks, why not anything else? What has she got to hide? One picture shouldn't hurt her. Is it because she simply does not have a camera? Or does she have photos she refuses to show you? Because the latter seems very suspicious. Link to comment
SoMuchLove Posted March 19, 2009 Share Posted March 19, 2009 but she refuses to let me see a pic of her, and yet still wants to meet me This would be a problem for me. I'm all about personality, but if she likes you and wants to meet for a date she should show you a picture. She must be scared that you'll see how she really looks and want to cancel the date... poor thing. Just arrange an outing rather than a date. Say you want to meet in person an hang out or something. Not really superficial. We all have standards. Link to comment
btc8 Posted March 19, 2009 Share Posted March 19, 2009 Yeah, I believe the internet was invented in order to eliminate the possibility of any blind date occurring entirely by the usage of pictures!!!! It's baffling that she refuses to send you one! Find another girl who has a pic and move on!!! Link to comment
JadedStar Posted March 19, 2009 Share Posted March 19, 2009 This is why it is a good idea to take it offline quick and go ahead and at least do a quick meet up vs emailing for weeks or months. But seriously, this is 2009. Eveyrone with a computer can find access to a digital cam even if it is just borrowing their friends camera phone. Now five or ten years ago i could perhaps understand if a person just didn't have a digital camera, but that is a far fetched excuse today. AND if someone is giong to do online dating they should know that it is protocol to swap pics. This isn't a shallow request, IMO it is an absolute requirement. If they don't post it in their profile (and that might be understandable for a few reasons that are legit if they are shy to let people know they are doing it) but it should be swapped immediately when you begin talking. No pic, no date. You should let her know that you really feel it is fair that she send a pic since you sent her one. Word it anyway you like to make it sound less harsh, but i would absolutely require it. There is some reason she isn't sending it, and we can guarantee it isn't a good one, and the longer she waits and doesn't do it the more your imagination will run wild. She is either very ashamed of her apperance (and what does she gain by making you wait to see her in person? Does she think that this will soften the blow if you don't like what you see? I dont get why people do this. What good is only getting ONE date and the guy never calls again?), married, or in a relationship. I would also preface your pic request to say a 'recent' one. The people online crack me up when you can tell they have a highschool photo from 1984 posted in their profile or a pic that has cracks in it as it was a paper photo that was copied with a digital and the color has the fading reminiscent of 70's pictures from a brownie camera. lol Link to comment
villie Posted March 19, 2009 Share Posted March 19, 2009 I would not meet a person that i've been chatting to online with out seeing a photo first. If they dont have a photo. I dont meet them. Simple. People can lie about all sorts of stuff. Hell they can even send you the wrong photo - but if they intend to meet you and do, - it'll be obvious if they send you the wrong photo. If you have sent yours to her, tell her its fair that she sends hers to you. You want to make sure when you meet that its her. She could end up sending a friend to meet you. You wouldn't know really. Link to comment
MinziGirl Posted March 19, 2009 Share Posted March 19, 2009 I think this also falls into the trust catagory. I mean, if she's hiding the way she looks, why not anything else? What has she got to hide? One picture shouldn't hurt her. Is it because she simply does not have a camera? Or does she have photos she refuses to show you? Because the latter seems very suspicious. Maybe she is an absolute newbie about the stuff in the internet & do not know (yet) how to load her pics up? Or maybe she doesn't want ANY of her pics around the net? If that is the case, then have her send you a copy of her pic by post... Whatever it is, you have rights to feel comfortable with the person whom you would like to spend an evening with. Link to comment
MinziGirl Posted March 20, 2009 Share Posted March 20, 2009 or it's a guy. or it is a fake. Link to comment
maverick554 Posted March 21, 2009 Share Posted March 21, 2009 Kind of off topic, but just out of curiosity, would you rather her have a nice body and a bad face, or a nicer face and a bad body? Link to comment
Ammy Posted March 21, 2009 Share Posted March 21, 2009 How can you meet someone if you don't know what they look like? How will you recognise her? Either way I guess if she sends a pic (and she's not attractive to you) you may decline the meet up. If you meet without the pic and she's not attractive to you, you will not see her again - so doesn't she understand that either way the same outcome will apply? Maybe she thinks she's not so hot, but if you see the real person inside by spending time with her, you'll look past that? But to be honest 1 meeting is not enough for personality to overshadow looks in my mind - it takes a while of knowing someone for their personality to really shine through!! Or MAYBE she takes awful pics, but is beautiful in the 3d real world? I know most of my pics are shocking, I look MUCH better in person. But still, the discrepancy is not large enough for you to dislike my pic and love the real me? Who knows?! She should at least explain the reason for not wanting to send a pic - if it were me and this were the reason I'd say it outright?! Ammy Link to comment
LAYAAN Posted March 21, 2009 Share Posted March 21, 2009 Still doing the internet dating thing. Having a little more luck than before, mostly do to a few articles I got my hands on that shed some light on a few issues unknown to me. There is a girl(supposedly) that likes me and we email each other whenever we are online, but she refuses to let me see a pic of her, Why are you into emailing business without seeing her pic? and yet still wants to meet me that would be a red flag to me. I won't respond to someone if they don't have a picture on, in 1st place. But if I really like their profile, I'd still be patient and request their picture. If they don't provide it, forget it. I'm not gonna waste my time. I honestly don't know if I have the heart to tell someone who I assume to have a few things in common with, that I just don't find her attractive and do not want to date. So do I just stop it here, and say, "if you say no, then I say by?" correct. Thats what you say. I hate to be superficial, I wouldn't call it superficial. We all have preferences. as I have fallen for what I look back on as, "Not so attractive," physically girls. But worst case scenario, I end up having to tell a 5ft 2" 250 pound paraplegic that I just don't like her that way, man that would kill me. Should I just bite the bullet and say okay, with the small chance that she is someone I would really like. My standards are not that high, but still I do recognize in my self a little need to have a physically attractive mate. Where do you all draw the line? I must say that you have a lot of patience. I've done online thing and boy, men were not happy with 2 pictures. They wanted to see more n in different outfits. You think that was too much? Few men suggested that they NEED to see me on a webcam before they would consider meeting me to counter check that those were really MY pictures. Link to comment
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