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Is she on the fence? Lots of "maybe"


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Bear with me Just another confused soul.


Typically, I'm aloof, and never look into a relationship too much, but about a month ago I invited a girl to become my dance partner for performances.


For the first month or so, her body language was hesitant, and neutral at best (although ok with being my dance partner). Then gradually, her body language opened, up, until one day I could tell there was "sexual" interest building.


Over this weekend, my head was spinning from anticipation until our next dance meeting (tuesday-today), so I decided to invite her for a drink on monday. She accepts, we meet, body language is positive. Long story short, we end up kissing for the rest of the day (monday).


Every time I said, "so why did you kiss me?", she shot back with "I didn't kiss you, I didn't do anything". Plenty of playful kissing none-the-less.


Tuesday rolls over, and she becomes relatively distant (1-2 feet further away, and barely facing me). After some more dancing (sensual of course), I decide to take her outside in the beautiful day. Then I become confused (plenty of kissing...yet).


Every invitation to hang out again in the future or inquiry if she had fun is repeatedly replied with a "maybe", and if I said, "and by maybe you mean no?", she replies, "thats not what I said", or subsequently more "maybe"'s with a "teehee" and smiles... (playing hard to get?).


Now, this "aloofness" to me seems like she is dating out of fun, and convenience. I don't believe she is legit.

My main confusion is this repeated "maybe...maybe...maybe".


I've dated out of convenience, and these signs seem very similar (high sexual tension, yet no long-term commitments).


I REALLY need some light on this.

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ask her on an official date. see if she wants to go to dinner and bowling. stop asking questions of insecurity like 'why did you kiss me?' be assertive/certain that she kissed you because she wanted to. you are reading into her replies too much. just keep making the moves. be more confident in who you are.


how did you know her before?

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my ex used to asked me questions like that. i'd laugh and say maybe. in my head, i was thinking.. omg plez stop ruining this by being annoying.



lol stop asking. just... go with it. read her actions. nobody wants to have to spell things out for you every step of the way. it takes away the fun and spontaneity.

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I'll bring another point to the table:


I asked her to send me a text today (wednesday), about her day...anything really, about her day, so that my reply would be, oh nice, teehee smiley face (or some other IM's). This girl is the typical cellphone text addict.


No messages.


We meet up tomorrow (thursday), for dance practice.


Thoughts on what I should do?

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You are putting all kinds of pressure on this girl with questions and an insecure posture as others point out. If she is kissing you, she is attracted, just let things progress without such microanalyzing. Also agree with others to ask her out in a definitive way, "Want to go see/do ________ with me _____ X night?" Take any "maybes" as a "no" and IMMEDIATELY make other plans with friends or another girl. You have to let them know subtly that you aren't to be messed around without making a big issue of it. If you ask for a date, they need to accept or decline fast after a reasonable chance to check their schedule and don't pout or act hurt if they say no, don't ask for rainchecks either. A date with you is a rare and valuable offer, not a "favor" they are doing for you, and if you think of it this way, the good ones will respect you for it.

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Well, anyways Thursday came and went. We met up for dance practice as always. Initially, I just ignored any lead-ons by her, but eventually we went outside again to do the usual - bathe in the sun and more kissing.


I invited her for another meet up on friday (yesterday), as I was donating blood the same day - a little daytime meetup. I decided to invite her to a salsa club the same night (she was pleased with this).


The night goes down well and we ended up in my car for about 2 hours into the wee hours of the morning listening to music and...


It's sexual attraction-attention, nothing more...

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That same friday, I invited her to my place

"I don't know, maybe"


We met up again on monday, and she completely rejected me in front of my friends when I went in for a kiss. Isolating her to a nice lone spot though opened her up, as it's done over and over accross all of last week. Kissing, holding, gazing, at a cost of not being legit...


So anyways, monday I say: "Would you..like to. come to my place.. on thurs"


"I don't know, maybe"

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I dont think that she is taking the situation serious, you are making overtly obvious gestures towards her that you are interested in her and she is just sitting back and going along for the ride. It isnt possible for you to change your behavior with this girl and go back to being aloof as you claim to have been in your past. If you want to continue the fun with no commitment then by all means but this situation has devolved into you showing interest and her seeming somewhat interested.

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