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Garden

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Recently I've noticed that I've been feeling more and more depressed lately, normally I can act cheerful and pleasant and yet inwardly I feel as though I want it all to end. I understand that people everywhere go through these types of thoughts and yet I am starting to worry. Sometimes I will write suicide notes and wills in my head and recently despite my best efforts I can't seem to find the will to be motivated or find a purpose or joy in my life. I despise people who simple use religion or hot lines as reasons to stop suicidal thoughts and I also have no one I can seriously talk to about this. So I am curious at what I am supposed to do? How am I supposed to fix these thoughts when I can barely get my life in order, many people out there have it much tougher than me and yet I can barely find the courage to plaster on a fake smile anymore. I am starting to resent myself and everyone around me and I don't know what to do. I don't want people to fix my problems...I just was someone to say something that might make my situation just a little bit more bearable. Sorry if this imposes on anyone.

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If you are having suicidal thoughts, feeling unbalanced, or depressed, I think the first step you need to take is to go talk to your doctor. Your doctor may reccommend that you take medication or refer you to a psychologist. It is great that you are recognizing it as a problem but going to a professional is a much better option than help lines or friends which are only temporary fixes.

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Life is tough and death is a way out. I feel in a similar situation where I've lost interest in everything because on the one hand my belief that death makes everything meaningless implies I should live as hedonistically as possible today, while my life is actually anhedonistic since I can't kill myself so I work today to make sure my future isn't lived out in poverty. Having to work so much just for stuff I don't need, which doesn't really matter anyway is depressing. I'll look back when I'm old and see how I wasted my younger years. I already do.

 

The inevitability of death is always in the back of my mind, which voids anything we do. So if we do something we might as well try to enjoy it, right? I think the best way is to find a job that you are genuinely passionate about and that provides a comfortable standard of living. But if you aren't passionate about anything or you love something you can't earn good money from then, yeah, life might not be so great. Otherwise working and living is very much a chore.

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If you are having suicidal thoughts, feeling unbalanced, or depressed, I think the first step you need to take is to go talk to your doctor. Your doctor may reccommend that you take medication or refer you to a psychologist. It is great that you are recognizing it as a problem but going to a professional is a much better option than help lines or friends which are only temporary fixes.

 

This is important too. Medication can really be a stepping stone until you start to feel better on your own two feet.

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Thanks, I think the medication idea was a good one. I've been a little worried about side affects since I hear they can sometimes make the thoughts worse or sort of stupefy you but it is something to look into and I am grateful for that. I'm not fully sure how to bring it up yet or get the message that I want to try something like medication without offending anyone yet but I am sure I will figure it out.

 

And I would also like to express my gratitude to you, littleladyluck. I really think you have sound advice there for feeling better and fixing the situation. I hope I can follow some of the things you told me and stop feeling so disgusted with myself. Living healthier is a wonderful idea, I do eat fairly healthily and exercise in a moderate amount but trying to make more time for these things seems like a good stable idea.

 

I agree with most of what you are saying too, Yanet. I want to find something I can work towards or at least find some sort of job to be passionate about, it is true that you should enjoy your work since one of my main problems is a fear that I will end up doing something I hate for the rest of my life. I'm trying to find something I an be passionate about yet that always seems to end in disappointment...but I will keep it up.

 

I feel a bit better now, thanks all of you.

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Hi Garden

 

I feel very low a lot of the time as well and regularly think in detail about ending my life. For me it basically boils down to my inability to see opportunities and options to act upon so it always feels like I have nowhere to go except a giant great big pit of despair in my head......and yet those options to move forward in life to a better place are always there. Its just seeing them can be so incredibly difficult.

 

Other people have suggested going to the doctor and asking about anti-depressants. I would totally recommend this although dont expect a miracle cure. They can be very useful for increasing your mood and general feeling of well-being and that in turn can lead you to getting into a better rhythm in life.....but you will still have to remain active in trying to find practical ways to make yourself feel good. They have varying degrees of effect with different people though as of course everyone is different. Dont worry about any kind of negative side effects though. I personally didnt experience any at all. After a while though I found that they stopped having any positive effect on me but I think that is more to do with me and the negative habits I have formed throughout my life which keeps causing the same thoughts, feelings and perceptions to occur.

 

Socialising is a very important thing for dealing with depression. That and being in a good loving relationship. These are the areas that I am terrible at so I often find myself alone which really doesnt help. What I have found does help is being open and honest. Dont feel embarrassed or awkward about how you feel and definitely dont pretend to be happy when you're not. When someone asks me how I am I tell them the truth. Quite often those people actually much prefer an honest answer even if its a negative one as most people actually enjoy helping someone else solve a problem. I personally really like talking to people about their problems as it helps me to forget about my own. In fact if you spend time focusing on others you might actually find that many of your own negative thoughts will disappear without you even realising it. This is because we are all connected. We all think of ourselves as individuals but actually we are not.

 

 

Anyway I'm rambling like I always do. I hope something in that wall of text helped

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