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So i broke NC, and i messed up bad.


Casmut

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Hello again, not to long ago i made a thread here detailing my break up and the overall relationship itself, if you would like to read it (its way to long!), i think its on the third page of this forum titled "We just recently broke apart..sort of."

 

So after about 9-10 days of NC, i sent her some messages and here is what happened:

 

I am in the Military and i was on base for like the last 4 days. Usually when im away like this, my girlfriend(ex?) would keep me company, sending me texts or what not. I was in no mental shape to be doing anything to be honest, i should have taken the time off because while i was there i caved in a bad way. I decided to send her a text midway through my first day there, just asking how shes doing and if everything was ok...she never replied. I sent her another text saying that i just hoped to hear from her, and i was just worried.

 

Later on in the evening, while i was laying down on my old crappy cot, i started to think...ALOT and it really messed me up. I don't get much time to sleep while im on base, and i couldn't sleep at all knowing the situation i was in. I started to panic, i sent her a text telling her i couldn't sleep, and all i wanted was to hear from her. She still didn't send anything, then i just lost it..i sent her one more text. Told her i couldn't believe shes cutting me out of her life like this, and asked what did i do so wrong for her to not even acknowledge my existence.

 

The next day she sent me one text..just one, she said she was asleep. I responded to that text, and..she never replied. Shes just ignoring me completely, and now obviously lying. In those 4 days..i only slept 3 hours, im am completely drained and exhausted. My health is trashed, and so is my confidence.

 

Anyway, sorry for another long post. I am just lost and i don't know how to handle this.

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I feel for ya. It's hard when they get like that. You are goign to have to dig deep and realise you have to live your own life. Do the NC stuff like a lot of us are doing. Mine is see some other guy casualy only 1 month after she dumped me. It hurts I know but there are many on here to give you support and help you along.

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I appreciate the support and help i have received on this forum. It has helped a lot in dealing with the situation i am currently in. I know should stick to NC, its just so hard to do and hard to face. Especially when i am away for long periods of time. It was always comforting to me when her and i talked while i was at work, it gave me so much motivation.

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Hiya, i know exactly how u are feeling . It gets so frustrating when you get no reply from texts and phone calls. Do they not realise that it hurts like hell. You can read my last thread to see how me making contact has put me straight back to square one.

 

It is very hard when you waken in the morning and they are the first person you think about. They obviously put up a brick wall and dont think of others feelings. I am sure you are exhausted. You need to get some sleep and take care of yourself. I feel that me getting in contact with my ex that i have totally blew any chance of ever getting him back even as a friend.

 

Take one day at a time,there are lots of people who can give you advice. It is not a nice situation to be in. Take care and get some sleep.

 

Chat soon

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I'm sorry.

Hang in there. It will get better.

 

It's been 2 weeks since our break up [his choice] and I've lost 15lbs and haven't slept a full night since BUT the crying's slowly stopping and the sleep is getting better.

 

Find a really boring book and start reading it. Even if you can't concentrate much, if it's boring it will put you to sleep.

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I am sorry to hear what has happened to you all, i hope you are doing well. It is great to have these forums, the best thing we can do is relate to each others experiences and help give some advice and what we have learned from all of this. It is greatly appreciated on my end and its very therapeutic.

 

Thank you for the suggestions, hehe i may actually try to read something. I know for sure it will knock me out, didn't even think of it actually lol.

 

I am just floored about how she acted, i sometimes wonder if she even loved or cared about me. I wonder if shes feeling the way i do at the moment, or if shes just laughing it up. I have no idea...

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Poor bugger is all I can say. Sleepless nights are the worst, I woke at 1.30am last night and never actually slept after that. Off to work at 6.30am. Fun stuff.

 

Stay strong. The thing I look at is, what are all of us attempting to do by keeping the partner in our lives if she has got someone else? At least NC means they have to deal with us being gone, whereas staying their friend means they dont lose anything in a way, while all we do is get that temporary high when we talk to them or see them, then the huge down and back to square one feeling when they are gone again.

 

If the partner is still single, I have no advice, other than keep at it I guess - I won mine back once...but ultimately it didn't work anyway.

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Trying my best to keep my head above water. My job takes a ton of precision, and what has happened is really effecting my work. That high you mentioned uj2004 is something i really needed while i was gone for a bit, and she couldn't even provide that. I still love her, but at the same time...im really starting to dislike her, if that makes any sense. I just don't see how someone can all of the sudden stop caring like that, its just not normal. I don't think shes seeing someone else, course that could be not wanting to believe it.

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Yeah the breakup I had, she never mentioned there was someone else. Technically, there wasn't, but when you decide to be friends afterward, and you find out when she slips up and says she saw a movie the other night (to which I asked, with who, and found out it was THE night she broke it off with me), then you start to find things out.

 

I told her the last time we spoke I hate her ... right now. That I didnt want to, but I cant feel another way when she has made me feel so horrible, and she is apparently happy in a new thing with another guy. Of course I still love her, but someone who dumps you via text message, then starts dating again immediately, after being with me for 3 years, well, what can I say?

 

I get nothing from a friendship with her right now but pain. I dont even get the temporary high since the movie date has turned into her dating him, period.

 

At least moving forward on my own for a while I am spared the details.

 

I hope it works out for you. They always say staying away is the best thing you can do.

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Yeah the breakup I had, she never mentioned there was someone else. Technically, there wasn't, but when you decide to be friends afterward, and you find out when she slips up and says she saw a movie the other night (to which I asked, with who, and found out it was THE night she broke it off with me), then you start to find things out.

 

I told her the last time we spoke I hate her ... right now. That I didnt want to, but I cant feel another way when she has made me feel so horrible, and she is apparently happy in a new thing with another guy. Of course I still love her, but someone who dumps you via text message, then starts dating again immediately, after being with me for 3 years, well, what can I say?

 

I get nothing from a friendship with her right now but pain. I dont even get the temporary high since the movie date has turned into her dating him, period.

 

At least moving forward on my own for a while I am spared the details.

 

I hope it works out for you. They always say staying away is the best thing you can do.

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  • 4 weeks later...

Hello again.

 

It has been a little while since i have posted on here, damn work hehe. I hope everyone here is doing well. I'd like to thank you all for reading and replying to my situation, it has been a lot of help and it is greatly appreciated.

 

I am making slow but positive progress in my break up and the NC thing. I haven't made any contact at all since the weekend prior to making this thread when i made attempts at contacting her. However, while things are gradually getting better i still feel a bit jaded about the whole thing. She hasn't made any attempt at contacting me, and i haven't even thought about contacting her. I think the main problem i am dealing with at the moment is that our final conversation really never set anything in stone. I consider us broken up, but for some reason she didn't know what she wanted when i asked her.

 

I have one final test with NC. It is her Bday at the end of the month, and i am unsure whether or not i should wish her a happy birthday. However part of me feels that not sending her anything at all would send a much bigger message.

 

Anyway, just thought i would throw up an update. Thank you all again, and i hope all is well.

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Thank you for your reply, i appreciate the response. Yeah, i will not say a word to her and continue NC.

 

I'd like to thank everyone again for sharing their thoughts and stories here, they have helped me a lot and i feel like i am back on my feet again. I still wonder how i'd react if she did try to contact me.

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I know your hell, I been there before. I want you to think of this. If she has treated you in this manner, Is she really a woman that deserves a great guy like you. I don't think so. You deserve some that will respect you and your situation, not ignore it. My point if she cant respect you, and your situation then she isn't even a friend, so its a real good thing she not your girlfriend. When you get stressed over right in a diary or on here. But you can't have contact with her because she doesn't deserve respectable guy. Your story says more about her issues than it does yours. My family and I are proud and thankful for you.

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Dougco, your post means A LOT to me, it made me feel real good. Thank you my friend, it is greatly appreciated.

 

I absolutely agree with your way of thinking on the matter. I like to believe i am a good person, of course i am only human and i do have my faults. She was such a good person, but she changed so much. Before our break up, my friends had tried to get me to break it off with her, one of my friends flat out said he disliked her because of what she was doing to me. I am way to stubborn however.

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Dougco, your post means A LOT to me, it made me feel real good. Thank you my friend, it is greatly appreciated.

 

I absolutely agree with your way of thinking on the matter. I like to believe i am a good person, of course i am only human and i do have my faults. She was such a good person, but she changed so much. Before our break up, my friends had tried to get me to break it off with her, one of my friends flat out said he disliked her because of what she was doing to me. I am way to stubborn however.

 

Hey, she did not treat you with the respect you deserve as a person and partner, ESPECIALLY knowing how hard it would be for you where you are.

 

Speaking from the UK, again, hang in there, concentrate on the day to day stuff which will distract you and is so much more important in the scheme of things...

 

Your friends were right, but it's only natural to hang on to something which meant something to you.

 

Be stubborn and carry on, it will give you strength and take care.

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Thank you for your reply Pixiedoc.

 

Yeah many of my friends had told me that, you are right about it being natural in wanting to hold on to something that meant something to me. As complicated as things got, it was just to hard to let go. I have been doing many things to keep me distracted and busy, lots of exercising and its definitely helped. I also kind of want to take a vacation but i don't think work will let me go just yet lol.

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