She's gone but not forgotten

[rangerrick]

Well it's been almost 3 months since she broke up with me. I have been the victim of emotional abuse, but it took intense councilling to help me understand that. I did everything for her and in return I had my head handed to me on a platter. The whole event threw me into a deep depression. I cried everyday for almost two months. Then I met someone at a pancake supper 3 weeks ago and we have been corresponding ever since. It has been a nice distraction and I feel that she might be my salvation, and she has said that of me. My councillor gave her blessing to "go for it". Then, I saw my ex girlfriend late last week in a coffee shop with a girlfriend. We didn't speak to each other. I just picked up a coffee and left, barely acknowledging her. A whole wave of emotions came flowing back. Then I saw her driving by today. She waved but I did not wave back. I thought I was on the mend, but these two recent events have demonstrated that I am still healing. I'm not happy with these emotions because they are getting in the way of me moving forward, and I wonder if I am being fair with myself or anyone who I am cultivating a new friendship with? However, no one has a timetable for when its ok to date again, do they?

[stickman]

I wonder if I am being fair with myself or anyone who I am cultivating a new friendship with? However, no one has a timetable for when its ok to date again, do they?

 

There is no time table because everyone is different. BUT, since I went through the same thing as you many years ago, I strongly feel that any other person can help your self-esteem in the short term to "Get over her". However, you must learn to be by yourself and make your own self happy. Have hobbies and friends. I know that I felt better knowing that I could have friends and a life of my own without my life revolving around her. I actually grew a TON after that break up.