tulipsfav Posted March 15, 2009 Share Posted March 15, 2009 I texted my ex today and got no reply, am very annoyed and upset with myself. Anyway he replied after i asked him to "please stop ignoring me" he replied. After a few text i had asked him if he had met someone else, he immediately texted back telling me to delete his number and that he would not answer any of my calls or text. I am devastated as he was the one who wanted to stay friends. You can read up on my current thread i posted about the break up. I have deleted him of my facebook, which may i add was very difficult. Was this a knee jerk reaction on his part? Have i blown all chances with him? (really feel i have) Please hep, would be very grateful for any advice. Thankyou Link to comment
Jd1983 Posted March 15, 2009 Share Posted March 15, 2009 I'm sorry that you're feeling this way right now, but your main focus right now should be on yourself and your own well being rather than his own. I know it hurts to realize that he has moved on, but you need to accept his wishes. Constantly trying to get in contact with him will push him further away. Normally people indicate that they would like to remain friends after a break up just to be nice. However, if it was merely just as friends, you would not constantly ask him about your relationship and the possibility of you getting back together. Don't worry about "blowing all the chances with him". You cannot live your life by waiting on him, to possibly change his mind because he may never do so. Start living your own life, and do things for yourself. If the time is right, you guys may end up back together, but don't put all your focus onto it. Please try not to constantly message him again, if he wants to get in contact with you - he knows your number. Link to comment
Fionnuala Posted March 15, 2009 Share Posted March 15, 2009 It may very well have been a knee jerk reaction to you hassling him and pressuring him for a response. You need to leave him alone, trying to do anything to rectify the situation or anything else at this point will only make things worse. A good rule of thumb is to never act when you are feeling desperate, because it will almost always end up like this. If he has asked you not to contact him, you need to respect that. You also need to recognize that it's better for you not to be in contact with him, so you can heal and start to pick up the pieces in your own life. In time, once the dust has settled, and you've both had space and time to heal, he may be willing to be in contact with you again. But I wouldn't count on that, and I wouldn't try to make it happen. You can't force him to want to talk to you and if you try, you're just going to reinforce his desire NOT to talk to you. Sorry you're going through this, I know how rough it is. I've done pretty much the exact same thing, you just have to learn to control your urges and realize that it isn't going to help you so it's better just to avoid talking to him at all. Link to comment
tulipsfav Posted March 15, 2009 Author Share Posted March 15, 2009 Thankyou for your very kind words, i would say that he has def deleted my number. Think i needed answers to a lot of questions tho 5 texts is a lot for some1 who doesnt want contact. I just hope that i didnt come accross as needy and pathetic, cos that is really how i feel. Needing him to be honest with me. Is that too much to ask? Link to comment
Fionnuala Posted March 15, 2009 Share Posted March 15, 2009 I just hope that i didnt come accross as needy and pathetic, cos that is really how i feel. Needing him to be honest with me. Is that too much to ask? For someone who doesn't want to discuss it with you anymore, yes it is too much to ask. Link to comment
tulipsfav Posted March 15, 2009 Author Share Posted March 15, 2009 Thankyou Fionnuala,in my mind i had to do it today, it was driving me crazy. Am so annoyed that i practically had to beg for him to answer me. I shouldnt have had to do this.What 37 year old man acts this way? As you can pick up i am hitting the angry stage, as i have been very nice, calm but hurting all the time. Link to comment
annie24 Posted March 16, 2009 Share Posted March 16, 2009 he's giving you a pretty clear signal that there's nothing more to discuss, that the relationship is over and done with and that you should move on. i don't know what your history is with him, but i think it's definitely time to move on. Link to comment
loulee Posted March 16, 2009 Share Posted March 16, 2009 It is now his business Not yours who he is or isnt seeing. you are not privvy to that information anymore just as you are not a part of his life anymore. I know your hurting but each day will get a little better IF YOU WANT IT TOO. so why dont you start thinking about yourself..not him.. about what you NEED to do for you right now to feel a little better. change your focus...Start seeking happiness for you..everyday do one thing that makes YOU feel better. its best you NOT know what hes up too. so keep it that way until you can get back in charge of your feelings and future..good luck to you...just one day at a time. Dont waste anymore negative thoughts and emotions that leave you feeling like crap..you can do this you just have to want to feel better then put a plan into action Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.