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To all those left for someone else!


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I hope this post can help people in this particularly nasty situation. First I should give you a little background on my story (it's much much worse than what I am writing here). My ex left me for a long time friend just shy of 2 years ago. The breakup was horrible and took a tremendous emotional toll on me. I thought they were going to be together forever and all of those questions constantly ran through my mind: "is it better with him", "does she regret leaving me", "are they going to get married". It was an extremely painful time in my life.

 

I know we constantly hear "they won't last...a relationship built on such a poor foundation can never last." However, I just could never believe it. It felt like I was watching a ticking clock, waiting for the "inevitable" breakup to come. Honestly, I really thought it was never going to.

 

Well, I can finally join in with all those people who gave advice to me when I needed it: It will end.

 

I found out a few weeks ago that they are broken up, the guy she left me for (my ex friend) is in a very bad position (financially) and the whole escapade is finally over with.

 

All you need to do is hold out and work on yourself. I can't promise that your dumper will come back to you or even feel bad about what they did. I can say that, eventually, the new relationship will end and you can finally move on (if you haven't already).

 

Surprisingly, the news didn't bring me any comfort. I had thought, for a long time, that I was going to be jumping for joy when I found out. Nothing like that happened. Instead, I was surprisingly ambivalent to it all. So I warn you: don't make this your "closure". The pain you felt will still be there (hopefully dampened with time) and only you can find closure.

 

so hang in there and do your best to not watch the pot boil. I really hope this helps someone.

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I have to agree. My ex who left me for someone else, broke up with her current partner few weeks ago. I knew it was going to happen eventually but at the same time i never really expected it. I never waited for their breakup, it just happened all of the sudden... The relationship was obviously build on poor foundation, and these relationship never last forever. Especially since it was a rebound.

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They do not always end. Some even end up getting married.

 

Yeah, I know of a case like this, too--

The marriage between the affair partners has lasted 20 years or so now

(far longer than each of their previous ones had), and they're actually a remarkably good match.

 

-HOWEVER-

My take is that they're the exception to the rule.

When the affair becomes the relationship, there are many issues stacked against their favor:

 

Either various pre-existing issues and/or character flaws that one or both of them may have, and which become apparent in the new relationship, as well

-AND-/-OR-

Issues that become difficult to navigate and which stem directly from the horribly messy situations and complicated emotions that come about during divorce/break-up with the previous partners.

Worse still if these transitions are handled immaturely/dishonestly/sloppily.

 

So, even if there's potential there for a good relationship, they'll have some serious odds against them.

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The woman my ex husband left me for is still very much in his life and was for the last 2 and a half years of our marriage unbeknownst to me and if they stay together or not really does not make a difference to me now as the damage has already been caused.

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I broke up with a guy many years ago to go with someone else, we are still together ten years later. Yeah, it very well does work sometimes. My ex and I were just incompatible, but this guy and I are not. If you get left, it may have been because your mate did not feel the proper connection with you. Remember; for a relationship to work, both of you have to be happy in it.

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