soccergirl980 Posted March 15, 2009 Share Posted March 15, 2009 How do you guys feel about your significant other calling other girls/boys babe and gorgeous, etc? My boyfriend who I have some jealousy issues with, I realized does this all the time. Like I know its not a big deal but a part of me thinks it crosses the boundry a little bit. He's a big flirt I know that, but I do have somewhat the opinion to think its disrespectful to me right? Link to comment
shikashika Posted March 15, 2009 Share Posted March 15, 2009 My friends call me babe, honey and write love from in their emails. funny you mention this because a lot of my friends are all used to doing this... guys and girls, we are quite affectionate with each other. However, once I started dating a guy who all his friends , girls included, called each other 'man' and 'dude'.. I was not used to this as it just seemed so butchy (coming from the girls) and cold. He found it odd that we would all say things like 'love ya' and use terms of endearment where i found it odd that he would call his female friends ( and me!!) 'dude' Link to comment
GoneCrazy Posted March 15, 2009 Share Posted March 15, 2009 Kinda would be jealous/upset. I think it depends if its her friends that she says it to and its a joke i'm all fine for it. But if it was just random people i would be ticked/worried. Link to comment
Jd1983 Posted March 15, 2009 Share Posted March 15, 2009 I know exactly what you mean. My boyfriend does the same thing to all females - of all age groups. In the beginning it would somewhat bother me, but then I started to realize that he doesn't mean anything by it so I let it go. I'm sure your boyfriend feels the same. If it really affects you strongly, I suggest you bring it up to him and see if you can come up with a mutual understanding. Link to comment
LBP Posted March 15, 2009 Share Posted March 15, 2009 I call lots of women 'babydoll' and 'dollface.' Just women in my age group, though. Link to comment
soccergirl980 Posted March 15, 2009 Author Share Posted March 15, 2009 well I forgot to mention that its also mainly to the two girls that I feel threatened by and the only reason Ive been thinking about this is because I think it might also be a small thing that effects my low self-esteem and uncomfortableness around them Link to comment
shikashika Posted March 15, 2009 Share Posted March 15, 2009 well I forgot to mention that its also mainly to the two girls that I feel threatened by and the only reason Ive been thinking about this is because I think it might also be a small thing that effects my low self-esteem and uncomfortableness around them Well that is why you feel bothered by it then. This is YOUr problem, not his. Work on yourself rather than blaming your boyfriend. Link to comment
alli Posted March 15, 2009 Share Posted March 15, 2009 I have a guy friend that has always called me babe, even though he had a girlfriend the whole time (now they are married). I don't know, it didn't mean much other than we were good friends. I have another guy friend who is latin and he often leaves me messages on myspace calling me "amor" (which means "love" in spanish, if you didn't know). Same thing, just a term of endearment. I can tell my bf doesn't like that much but he doesn't say anything other than a grunt when I would mention the guy's name. haha. I don't think it would bother him as much if my friend wasn't so attractive. But that is really it.. just friendship. I probably wouldn't like it much if my bf called other women these things, but if it is only calling them "babe, hun, etc" and they are not flirty, it isn't a big deal. Link to comment
jengh Posted March 15, 2009 Share Posted March 15, 2009 Meh, my ex did this. Called all of his female friends "babe". It bothered me at first until I realized he did it with everyone. Then I just stopped caring. Link to comment
melrich Posted March 15, 2009 Share Posted March 15, 2009 I don't do this but my wife occassionally does. Same sort of thing, she calls 2 old friends "babe" or "honey" sometimes. Can't say it bothers me. It's usually in the context of "You are so not funny babe"....not "babe pass me the towel". But I could understand that this might irritate some people. Link to comment
quirky Posted March 15, 2009 Share Posted March 15, 2009 I wouldn't like it, to me it sounds a more personal/intimate/for your special person term. Don't feel threatened by nobody, realise that what YOU have to offer is unique. I would actually advise you to get closer to the girls that threaten you! Link to comment
shikashika Posted March 15, 2009 Share Posted March 15, 2009 I wouldn't like it, to me it sounds a more personal/intimate/for your special person term. Don't feel threatened by nobody, realise that what YOU have to offer is unique. I would actually advise you to get closer to the girls that threaten you! this sounds like childish, petty game playing to me! Link to comment
alli Posted March 15, 2009 Share Posted March 15, 2009 Can't say it bothers me. It's usually in the context of "You are so not funny babe"....not "babe pass me the towel". But I could understand that this might irritate some people. Haha, yeah if she was saying "babe pass me the towel" to someone else, I think the use of the word "babe" would be your second concern! At least, if you were referring to a shower towel as opposed to a kitchen towel. Link to comment
quirky Posted March 15, 2009 Share Posted March 15, 2009 this sounds like childish, petty game playing to me! noooo, I say so because I think it will help her understand she has nothing to be threatened of, not to play games..! Sometimes when we're threatened by someone and then we get to know them, takes them off that "pedestal" we see they're just human like us Link to comment
Angelzdust Posted March 16, 2009 Share Posted March 16, 2009 One of my friends has a boyfriend who used to call all girls honey, sweetheart, ect, (only as a quirk type thing, he is a real sweet guy, def not a flirt) like he'd go through a supermarket checkout and say something like 'just on credit thanks honey.' He used to do it out of habit until this new woman started at his work who was a super feminist, (and like twice his age) he said 'sorry sweetie' to her for something, and she tried to have him charged with sexual harassment! Needless to say he still calls guys man, dude and buddy, but women are now only ma'am. Lol! Link to comment
JadedStar Posted March 16, 2009 Share Posted March 16, 2009 To me it honestly depends on WHO. My SO has a few close female friends he has had for ages and if he says to one of them when we see them 'well hello gorgeous' and gives her a friendly hug it wouldn't bother me at all. I do the same with very close male friends (well i wouldn't say gorgeous, maybe hello handsome long time no see). If these were women that I felt were new friends or someone we just met, depending on the context and HOW it was said, body langugage, etc it might bother me. I couldn't answer this specifically without each one being a case by case basis. If a young waitress is serving us and he calls her dear or honey, or even an older waitress, it doesn't bother me. Link to comment
dangletsbang Posted March 25, 2009 Share Posted March 25, 2009 My SO doesn't use the terms in person with anyone. But on myspace and texting, it's a whole different story. I mean it wasn't like a mass amount of girls he would say "hey gorgeous, what's up?" or "what you doin' beautiful"..just like 3 or 4..but it happened enough after I told him it bothered me that it became an issue in our relationship. Link to comment
CLROG Posted March 26, 2009 Share Posted March 26, 2009 At certain times I get really upset because my boyfriend does it too.. When I first met him I thought it was only me that he called darling.. now I know it's not.. I feel let down and jealous of whoever he calls that.. Like they have the benefit of it and I don't.. I know it's not serious, but sometimes I am hurt by it. Link to comment
amtjrtcet Posted March 26, 2009 Share Posted March 26, 2009 I call everyone babe all the time....doesn't mean anything. Gorgeous, I use that sparingly. Link to comment
Circe Posted March 27, 2009 Share Posted March 27, 2009 I've never experienced a relationship where that happened so i can't really tell you. I can't even imagine my H doing it because he's so reserved with other people. I'd be quite startled if I suddenly heard him talk like that!! I don't do it myself as it seems a bit too much like flirting to me. Link to comment
hexaemeron Posted April 9, 2009 Share Posted April 9, 2009 To me it honestly depends on WHO. My SO has a few close female friends he has had for ages and if he says to one of them when we see them 'well hello gorgeous' and gives her a friendly hug it wouldn't bother me at all. I do the same with very close male friends (well i wouldn't say gorgeous, maybe hello handsome long time no see). If these were women that I felt were new friends or someone we just met, depending on the context and HOW it was said, body langugage, etc it might bother me. I couldn't answer this specifically without each one being a case by case basis. If a young waitress is serving us and he calls her dear or honey, or even an older waitress, it doesn't bother me. You know, Jaded, disasters come in three, and I find I have agreed with you now three times! I couldn't have said it better myself. Link to comment
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