When you find out everyone's been laughing at you....

[Jammycake]

Okay hi guys, first time poster, I just have something to vent about and if anyone has any advice for me that would be great.

 

I have just moved back to my small hometown after being away for a few years, newlywed but my husband works away.

In my town everyone knows everyone, I have known most of the people my whole life, and the new people that have come since I’d been gone I thought I got along with great.

 

The problem is, there is a new woman called Liv who moved in a few years back, when I met her I really liked her and became (I thought) friends with her and her daughter, who is a few years younger than me.

Now the other day my friend asked me a strange question, about why I had called up Liv’s daughter and verbally abused her the weekend before. Obviously I was confused as I had definitely never done this, and traced back the line of gossip to Liv’s friend Cheryl, who admitted Liv had told her this in person, but said she didn’t know anymore than that.

 

I was totally puzzled about how this crazy story got out, but Liv and her daughter were away for the week so I couldn’t ask them personally.

I was talking to Cheryl’s mother who is a friend of my mother’s, and mentioned what Cheryl had said, which I had laughed off as a misunderstanding. She then told me that Cheryl has told her before that Liv doesn’t like me, because apparently she doesn’t like her boyfriend (who is an old friend of my family, 10 years my senior) talking to me.

 

I then went on to find out through various sources that Liv has been constantly spreading wild stories about me, telling people I have been trying to steal both her and her daughter’s boyfriends off of them, that I have said things about people, cheated on my husband, etc etc. I also found out that when the place I casually would work at ‘just had too many people on right now’ it was because of Liv.

 

I have never done any of these things and I can’t believe the people I would see everyday actually believed them. I feel so embarrassed and really feel like just packing up and moving. I have never given Liv a reason to do this, I occasionally talk to her boyfriend but only ever to say hello, never any in-depth conversation.

 

I haven’t seen Liv or her daughter since they got back, and I’m not sure what to do. Confront them? They are always so nice to my face, but I back tracked and they most definitely did say these things. Should I just pretend like it doesn’t bother me? Liv is pretty high up on the social ladder and to keep out of that circle pretty much means cutting out the whole town, so with my husband away I’d be alone.

 

Any advice on how I should handle this?

[Dragunov-21]

I'm not exactly socially talented, but if there's anyone you can be reasonably sure will hear you out, ask them if liv's been saying similar things about you, and if you find out sh has, set them straight. I don't know whether to confront her of not, but letting the rumours stand won't help you any.

 

Is there anyone in that "circle" you can trust?

 

*EDIT* Welcome to the forums, btw =P *EDIT*

[Jammycake]

Thanks for the warm welcome Dragunov

 

I don't know where to start trying to set everyone straight. And as for anyone I can trust, well, I thought they were all my friends.

 

Well I mean they are my friends, they just assumed Liv was telling the truth, and didn't check with me because some of the things she's been saying you can't really just start up a conversation with.

 

I just don't know why she'd do this?

[Dragunov-21]

Could be a game, could be beating up on the new kid, could be she just wants to put someone down to feel higher up.

 

Whatever it is, just find someone to start with, and say "Hey, I just wanted to talk to you about something. I've found out that there have been some false rumours put about, quite nasty ones, and I just wanted to make sure that you guys didn't think less of me because of things that had been said in my absence."

 

Reword as necessary, but that's a sensible way of putting it that doesn't make it sound like ou're trying to call anyone out or get in first, just checking that people didn't have the wrong idea.

 

I gotta go to bed now, but hopefully I'll be on tomorrow.