NBHABarrelRace Posted March 15, 2009 Share Posted March 15, 2009 Hi. This is a little difficult for me to tell the world, but I am 19 and I have never been on a date, kissed, or had a boyfriend. I know that sounds pathetic, but I would like to know everyone's opinion. Like I said, I am 19. I have already graduated college and now I am a Licensed Practical Nurse. I have a career already. I am a saved Christian and I do not believe in sex outside of marriage. I am very family oriented, and I compete in rodeos in my spare time. I have had male friends, but no boyfriend. I have been told that I am pretty, but I am not paper thin. I try to be honest and I am outgoing and funny-I love to laugh and make people laugh. So...any help would be nice. Thanks. Link to comment
The_Wanderer Posted March 15, 2009 Share Posted March 15, 2009 I am assuming you completed college very early if you are only 19 and already out of it. I hope that this did not cost you valuable social experience. 19 is still pretty young. I had not been kissed or had a girlfriend until I was 17. It's really not that big of a deal. You should just try to put yourself out there as much as you can, socially, and hopeful worthwhile guys will start to show their interest. As for your Christian beliefs, anyone that you care to be with will respect them. If they don't, they aren't worth your time anyway. Link to comment
iwishiknew Posted March 15, 2009 Share Posted March 15, 2009 Don't feel so bad, your not alone. I'm 30 and I never had a gf or a date yet, pretty pathetic! Link to comment
skarlet Posted March 15, 2009 Share Posted March 15, 2009 You sound a lot like me. I'm a christian, and through the age of 19, I'd never dated or been kissed. I also don't believe in sex outside of marriage. After I turned 20 last year, I ended up getting into a relationship, and I meant it to be a serious relationship, but it didn't work out, and I'm single again. So, you being 19 and never been kissed? Sounds pure. Not pathetic. If you are honest, and funny, and kind, I'm sure guys will be attracted to you, and you'll date and end up married. Make guy friends in christian circles, and don't sweat it. Pray that God brings you the right guy. Link to comment
FeelingWoozy Posted March 15, 2009 Share Posted March 15, 2009 Hey sister-in-Christ Believe it or not, your situation is more common than you might think. And I for one envy it.. I intended on saving everything for one boy that I would make my husband forever.. and now here I'm 22, heading toward my 2nd marriage & would kill to be young & pure again. But that probably doesn't make it any more rosey from your point of view. My advice is just trust in the big guy. He knows our desires & He wants us to be happy. He will reward your patience in time. Ask what His plan is for you. Be open & prepared to hear His will, because it may include ministry that is more fit for you being single at the moment. Check out Paul for instance.. he chose to stay single so that God could absolutely be his only focus. God doesn't call everyone to live like that, but it's important to talk to Him about it. If you wait on His answers, you can't go wrong "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11 Link to comment
Blue Streak Posted March 15, 2009 Share Posted March 15, 2009 Based on Username, please don't feel like you are in race for anything. You have very much to offer at your age. Much more than the norm. That said, your Christian beliefs are limiting people wise, and you need to know and understand that as a Christian. Please take that into consideration, and you will see how successful you are today and how much more is waiting for you. Kudos to you. Link to comment
Siriana Posted March 15, 2009 Share Posted March 15, 2009 One of my best friends didn't have a bf till she was 24 - she is now 28 and now she has a bf. It took some time for her to gain enough self-esteem to date. Meaning, 19 is young and you would be surprised on the number of people who are that age and never had a bf/gf, had sex. Media forces unrealistic expectations on young people and promote wrong values/lifestyles. It's good you want to have a bf. You'll have one, don't worry. Link to comment
villie Posted March 15, 2009 Share Posted March 15, 2009 I know its hard but dont worry about it! honestly!!! I was 23 until i was kissed, and did everything. I dove in with the first guy. Bad mistake. Learnt that the hard way. For me it was more of the self confidence thing. didn't have any. Your only 19. it will happen. Link to comment
epsilon2x Posted March 15, 2009 Share Posted March 15, 2009 How can you mentioned how you are saved but then complain about not participating in lustful behaviors ie. kissing? Link to comment
AnotherBrokenDoll Posted March 15, 2009 Share Posted March 15, 2009 Some of my friends are the same as you, chrisitan and never want to suin their purity before they are married. One friend is 25 she only just got married, her and her boyfriend didn't even kiss before their wedding. It was all saved for the wedding night Another is 26 and never been kissed. Inside the christian circle i don't think its that uncommon, i know a guy friend of mine would LOVE a girl like you. A girl who will make him laugh and won't be a pressure to have sex before that special day. Those guys do exist you just have to find them. Link to comment
coyote1980 Posted March 15, 2009 Share Posted March 15, 2009 I didn't have my first bf/kiss/date until I was 20. Nothing's wrong with it I think. Btwn, I admire you have certain values you believe in and sticking to it. Link to comment
dr_styles Posted March 15, 2009 Share Posted March 15, 2009 Welcome to eNA. Spend a little bit of time just clicking through some of the similar "alone"-sounding existing threads. You'll find it gets pretty common and a few of us guys who have it a bit [understatement] worse. Do you at least have that bit of hope, bit of new contact everyday? Because people are right, 19 is still young and not pathetic at all like you say. It's when you get early-mid 20s, and beyond (ouch I really feel for you guys!) that it gets sad and when just in your regular life, you don't see any hope or chances at all. I mean if you still get told you're pretty that's plenty already to keep going imo. Link to comment
cruzer Posted March 15, 2009 Share Posted March 15, 2009 im 19, virgin, christian, been on 1 date, never kissed. its not uncommon and your not alone. Wish i could give advice Link to comment
Blue Streak Posted March 15, 2009 Share Posted March 15, 2009 im 19, virgin, christian, been on 1 date, never kissed. its not uncommon and your not alone. Wish i could give advice You did advise. Thank you, you are right on for the masses. Thank you. Link to comment
chelsea13 Posted March 15, 2009 Share Posted March 15, 2009 Hey! Basically my situation is like yours, apart from the fact that I'm not religious and I don't have any firm beliefs in sex after marriage etc. But I just want to say, do not rush it. Even though it seems like everyone around you are going with someone, you are not alone. I'm now 20 and didnt get my first date/kiss until I was 19. But my last 'relationship' didn't work out at all, in fact it didn't even seem like a relationship, so now I'm single all over again. Sometimes I just want to have someone, to be in a relationship or go on dates. However, although I've been told I'm pretty by a significant number of people, I'm still too shy and appear cocky.. sometimes. I guess at the end of the day, just be yourself and don't rush it. Most importantly, don't get all hung up. Link to comment
NBHABarrelRace Posted March 15, 2009 Author Share Posted March 15, 2009 Hey everyone. Thanks for all the replies. I read all of them and I appreciate your advice! I never realized how many people have similar situations to mine. Thanks! Link to comment
MD Geist Posted March 15, 2009 Share Posted March 15, 2009 Your my kind of girl You'll find someone for sure just keep doing what your doing and it will happen. I've never had a girlfriend, never been on a date,extc...extc... its more pathetic for us men than it is for you women. Link to comment
easyguy Posted March 15, 2009 Share Posted March 15, 2009 I'm in the exact same situation as MDGeist (same age, too). Link to comment
MD Geist Posted March 15, 2009 Share Posted March 15, 2009 Presenting that fact to any woman is going to be difficult. For a woman to tell a guy its the other way around. Link to comment
hmm1 Posted March 18, 2009 Share Posted March 18, 2009 I am assuming you completed college very early if you are only 19 and already out of it. I hope that this did not cost you valuable social experience. I've been going to college for 5 years and I only really know 3 people superficially, so duration really doesn't mean anything. To OP: I'm 22 and virgin in every sense of the word, but I'm a guy and it's a little more common for us, which is great news for you. You'll have no problem finding a virgin guy at any age. Link to comment
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