Jump to content

Fears, do they rule your life?


Recommended Posts

Perhaps indirectly alter the course of your life? Can you think of any fears that have become your realities? I can. Do you have any tips on alleviating fears? Or are they like core truths, difficult to alter?


I am a very paranoid/fearfull person lol. My SO has kind of "convinced" me that fears can become realities. I've actually seen it happen on some ocassions so now I do my best to just be positive instead of fear things.


I think something which may have altered the course of things, (not that I feel it made a huge deal, but still) is my fear of being perceived badly or laughed at. I think if I'd been less fearfull and more gutsy when it came to approaching and/or asking out guys, I could have dated way more.

I feel my fear of turning off a certain guy, became reality, when I would try and appear aloof. But really it came off completely wrong and made me look akward instead.


Some of the fears which play a bigger role for me at my fear of dying young (due to sickness or some freak accident. I have no solution for it. Aside from just trying not to think of that stuff..

Link to comment

I had a fear of dying young, and it didn't happen to my disappointment because I hadn't planned on living still don't to old age. Makes it hard to retirement plan. I have no reason to believe I'd die young other than my parents will likely both be dead in their 60's (mom is still living, dad has passed). My children were in essence kidnapped from me, by the legal system, and it was always my worst fear (losing them). I remember dropping my son off at a daycare place and they talked about how they wouldn't give him back if I were intoxicated, I hadn't drunk or planned to drink but it scared me so much I didn't want to drop him off. I did with urging of my mother and did get him back that time. Now I just have visits with my children, and I'm not in the motherly role. It's awful.

Link to comment

They used to in tremendous fashion. For myself, fear of success, along with fear of failure, inhibited me tremendously for many of my growing years. I did not understand this reality while it was happening which made the effects all the worse, long term.


I am aware today of my fears. I am much better off yet have so much more to improve. Being aware of the effects your fears provide is quite rewarding. It informs much about you, it helps to eliminate your many irrational excuses, it helps to prevent fears from getting worse. Best of all, you know what you need to work on at that point in your life and you just do it. You do it because you know how much it influences your happiness.

Link to comment

I had a fear that I could lose everything until I nearly did die in hospital. From then I must admit that most of my fears have gone. In the rare case when fears do come i reign them in and control them so I can move forward with clearer perceptions.

Icant...i cant..im afraid...stuff it I can and if i die trying then we lived full of life. No regrets no retreat. I feel

fear paralyses too many people. I like to think that if the world attempts to put fear in me that I stand up strong look back at life and give the fear back.

Link to comment
My fears rule my life and I hate it. They make me ill-confident, they lower my self-esteem, and ultimately they make me not try and thus not succeed.


You know your shot. You what the problem is, you that it is all you at this point in your life. All us posting on this thread need to get together and collaborate on how to resolve these life threatening style issues.

Link to comment

Yes fears often do rule our life...And what we often fear are simple things like being truly in love. or being extremely happy with life in general or another person. I think it is paramount we recognise our fears and accept that they are real. accept that we cannot alter change or guarentee that what we may fear may never happen, because it possibly could...if you face your fears in a rational realistic way they can be suppressed to a point that they do not rule your thinking or your decisions. take life head on knowing that in life and love there are never any lifetime guarentees, What we can do is to live each day and continually try to be positive and be the best that we can be.....

Link to comment

Fear has inhibited me a great deal.

At times I've sucked it up and gone ahead and done things that scared me but just as many times I've let the fear win and taken the easy way out.

One of my biggest fears is rejection and if I'm honest that's a big part of why my love life sucks.

They say that all fears boil down to one of the big 3:

shame, pain or death

Link to comment
Did not mean to confuse you. I said you you know your * * * * in a nutshell because you understand your struggles, aka loneliness. Many do not understand their struggles as well as you do.


Ahhhhhh yeah I get you. Ha, sorry Yeah, I'm very aware of how my fears have taken control of many aspects of my life.

Link to comment

I have had periods in my life where yes, my fears did rule my life. Entirely job or money related. It comes and goes depending on office politics and the economy. I usually jump back into counseling for a refresher course on coping mechanisms, and find a new or different hobby to try and distract myself.

Link to comment
I have a fear of failure. This is why i've never asked a girl out, or gotten a job. Irony is by not doing such things, i feel i've failed at life.


You haven't failed at life....you can change this if you put your mind to it.


As for me, I was held back for many years with anxiety and probably a fear of rejection more than anything. It took a lot of soul searching and returning to my roots to get onto the road to success and thus feel like I am not to scared anymore. I put my trust in those who valued me and listened to them, did the things I knew I enjoyed and gradually, the 'feel good' factor slowly came back.

Link to comment


This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

  • Create New...