Heavy fear of dancing... :(

[CrazyKing]

I just can't explain what's going on in my head when I'm at a ball and get asked for a dance... Even if the girl is fabulous, even if I like the music there - I just can't go to the dancefloor, numerous times I've even started shaking and sweating, a serious case of chorophobia, I guess, lol... I am so ashamed about that, plus I feel guilty because these situations aren't quite comfortable for the one asking me...

 

I've been trying to call up all the things that could have caused this terrible fear and I think it already started at the kindergarden...

 

This time I was just willing to waste my time, saturday night, and since I know a guy who's organizing dances and no other buddy was going to do something, I just went to one of those events to hang out, talk about life, meet people and the usual stuff, I was just sitting there, watching the people... Then his girlfriend, whom I know quite well, came to me and asked for a dance - tunnel vision, shaking, I was like tied to the chair where I was sitting... Even recalling this gives me shivers...

 

The funny thing is, I'm quite extrovert, been singing often in front of lot's of people, I'm a good singer, not that I'm bragging now, lol, sometimes it takes just a few seconds to get to know someone where I'm a stranger, like a bar, cafe, club... But sometimes I'm even scared when I hear the word "dancing"... Of course, what I'm doing in clubs is a diffent thing, I would often spend 20 minutes talking to a girl and then we would just be literally rubbing each other in the middle of the dancefloor... But if it's a dance/ball - hey, I'm a dead man, my phobia starts to control me...

 

Dunno - I think that I should avoid visiting such events, but on the other hand, the time may come where I must dance and what I'm gonna do then??? I know that an effective way to overcome such fears is to confront with it and just let them go, but I feel that I'll faint on the dancefloor as soon as I try... It scares me to death...

[Jeremiah Johnson]

You need to take some ballroom dance lessons, man. Sometimes you can find ballroom dance clubs that offer nearly-free lessons, or you can sign up at a dance school for group lessons which usually don't run more than $10-$15/lesson.

 

Dancing is a skill like most anything else. It needs to be learned and practiced. It's the same with public speaking which is why some people join groups like Toastmasters. Practice and time builds confidence and gets rid of the fear.

 

If you'd never played guitar in your life and you were thrown on stage and told, "Play!", you'd probably freak out because you'd have no clue what you're doing. Dancing runs a long the same lines. You don't want to force yourself to just get out there and dance anymore than you want to just get on stage and start creating a cacophony on guitar. You need a game plan, a strategy... you need lessons =)

[glegend]

You do what I do. Dance when you gotta and when you don't, you don't. And if anyone asks why you don't dacne you could always say "Baby I don't dance, not that I can't, cause theres a pistol in my pants"..lol....

[girl68]

Perhaps it's because you can't dance- or you think you can't.

 

You see how many people out on dancefloors who look like goofs and can't step a step to the beat? They're just having a ball with not a care in the world if they look good or not.

 

It really is all in your head. It starts before you even get up, you probably worry the minute you see someone approach you. When at that moment instead on letting your anxiety get ahold of you why don't you focus energy on telling youself "it's okay, only a dance, only a dance, only a dance." Tell yourself over and over. It's about you convinceing yourself it's "only a dance". If you tell yourself enough, you'll believe it. Get up there and instead of focusing on dancing, talk to the gal. Step right, step left, step right step left. It's only a dance remember?