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what to do .. confused..


arian29

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we two are good friends, shes in the same office as me. we chat a lot over the phone. initially i thought of proposing to her, however when i did so .. she did not say no neither a yes. she told me she had a recent breakup (around 7 yrs old). i said fine.. ill be a good friend and well see how things change... maybe.. it was agreed up and i started to be a good friend of hers. my motto became .. to like bring her out of her past.. make her happy.. give her a shoulder to rest. however i always had that love thing in my heart and it did show up at times.. which kind of annoyed her at times and at times she was ok with it. Now however it seems things have changed.. seems like i need a shoulder.. well.. i am very emotional and shes a very practical and strong(emotionally) person. so things are taking a toll on me now... i kind of feel low.. if i hear from her am happy else .. well.. she stays happy.. and tries to keep her past away but sometimes my actions seem to bother her, which is kind of depressing for me. also one thing is that i don't keep surprises.. like i always tell her what am gonna do..now if i wanna go with her to like say lunch.. she says no and goes with some other friend. its not that she avoids me but says she dosent wanna get back into some love relationship and maybe loose me like her previous bf, and go through all that pain. i keep telling her that i just wanna be a good friend .. but.. well am confused... i need to know what i should do to come back to form and become that good ... real good friend of hers... and bring her to confidence

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If you think she has feelings for you but not ready to have another relationship:

 

Give her sometime. If you push her too much, she will just push you away farther and farther. Be there for her when she needs you, but don't go out of your way to help her.

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If you think she has feelings for you but not ready to have another relationship:

 

Give her sometime. If you push her too much, she will just push you away farther and farther. Be there for her when she needs you, but don't go out of your way to help her.

i agree with you.. i just dont wanna push in any way... but... could you please explain the "Be there for her when she needs you, but don't go out of your way to help her" part..

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Hi Arian29,

 

Well, She already knows how you feel......she will come to you when she needs your help(only saying this because you said she is going through this "phase").

 

You just go on with your life for now.

For example, have lunch with other people, ask her to come along casually every once in awhile. If she says no, then fine, go without her.

Don't talk to her about "feelings" or "relationships"

Keep the conversation light and casual. Don't call her, Don't text.

 

If she ever calls or talks to you about those things, then it's your turn to be supportive. and be there to listen.

 

When I was where she was, last thing I wanted to think about was getting involved with someone/ANYONE. It can be a huge burden. I'm assuming that's what she is going through from what I read.

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5 Signs of A Strong Friendship – ...
5 Signs of A Strong Friendship – Spotting A True Friend

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