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My grandpa died


alli

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8 days ago. His illness was sudden & he was gone in less than 2 weeks. We weren't super close or anything, but he was my grandpa. He won't be at Thanksgiving or Christmas anymore. Won't be sitting in his chair in his house. Before he died at the hospital, the Dr mentioned to our family in front of him that they were going to move him out of the ICU to another room. He thought the Dr meant he was going to get to go home. He never got to home home again. I've never seen my uncle cry before now. I couldn't even approach his casket.

 

I know it was natural. He lived the average lifespan of a man. They thought he would die of cancer many years ago but he was still kicking it for another 20 years.

 

I cry everytime I pass a cemetery or see a movie with the flag draped over the casket. I never thought about death so much, but now I can't stop. I'm not a very religious person, and it makes me sad to think that maybe after we die, that is it. We just cease to exist. At some point in my life, I will attend the funeral of my parents, my sisters, my boyfriend... or they mine. And now I'm afraid something is going to happen... that I can lose anyone at any time, and I will never see them again. I almost grieve for their loss even though they are still here.

 

I hope I stop feeling like this soon.

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Sorry to hear about your grandpa. Mine just died three days after Christmas and I still think about it all the time. I'm constantly replaying the funeral and the last few minutes he spent in our house in my head all the time. I don't think it ever goes away but just lessens with time. It's hard to think that someone is gone and you can never talk to them again, especially when you lived with them.

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