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how to find friends?


wtm78

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how can i look for new friends? how can i find good friends? i know many people, yet i feel lonely, rather alone. i feel as though i have no friends. i help them when they ask for help. i be there when they need me. but when i need someone, i looked around, i realise there is only me. it comes a time when i realise, i need people too. but who are there for me?

 

anyone ever ask you who are your friends? i have difficulties answering that question. those are answers that i also wish to know. when i need someone, there are no one i can turn to. when i am happy there are no one to share with. i am not here to sing a pityful note. just a lonely soul looking for answers if there is anyone out there in the world wide web who can enlighten me.

 

i began to realise that no man is a one man island. i can look tough, i can be tough and i can act tough. yet every man has a vulnerable spot. i do not know when and how i began to become alone. maybe i was too choosy in friendship in the first place. i am surrounded by many people. yet i feel fearful and distrust. how can i know who are people i am safe with? and who are people worth investing on?

 

maybe i am just broken in the inside. maybe i need some fixing. i wish i knew what to do. i wish i have the answers. yet i dont... i dont know where i am going. i dont know why am i here typing all this. perhaps, i just need someone to listen, even if there is not going to be an answer.

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well i'm sorry to hear that.

 

when things go wrong, what exactly to do you do to as for help?

 

do you have friends you hangout with or call on a regular basis?

 

when i need help, i would call up someone who i trust and ask if they are free. if they say no. i will say ok.

 

i do see some people on a regular basis, dont know if they can be classified friends. no, i dont have friends to hangout on a regular basis.

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when i need help, i would call up someone who i trust and ask if they are free. if they say no. i will say ok.

 

i do see some people on a regular basis, dont know if they can be classified friends. no, i dont have friends to hangout on a regular basis.

 

Maybe you let them off to easily?

 

What sorts of things do you to have interactions with others? have you moved around a lot? you say you are there for your friends so obviously you have people close enough to you that turn to you for help. That is a big sign in trusting someone. I don't turn to any old person for help; it will be a person i trust and respect.

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Maybe you let them off to easily?

 

What sorts of things do you to have interactions with others? have you moved around a lot? you say you are there for your friends so obviously you have people close enough to you that turn to you for help. That is a big sign in trusting someone. I don't turn to any old person for help; it will be a person i trust and respect.

 

i used to be very activelly involved in a drama club. a lot of friendship were made there. knew a girl there, she was in charge of the group. fell in love and were together for a while. maybe we were not right for each other, i felt that i gave in to her like i have never towards anyone. yet she accused me of abusing her, in which i never did. when we broke up. i felt that she needed those people in the drama club more than me. it was a nasty breakup, i had no one to turn to. i struggled through alone. been slightly more than a year now. i do not know how those friends i left see me. i know i do not want to see them. they remind me of her. and those things she said. i do not know what she had said to them, or how they will see me. neither is there any point to explain anything. i will just suck it up as if nothing happen...

 

i have some friends left, those that are not mutual. they are much younger than me. some old school friends that i am still in touch with. when they say they are not free, i couldnt and wouldnt force anyone to do anything.

 

sometimes i feel that, why i could make time for them when they call. they couldnt?

 

there was a period of time i was so busy in life. i couldnt even make ends meet with all the datelines. i didnt have time to make new friendship. had to rely on what i have left. and obviously didnt help much. now i have lost the ability to meet new people. i became fearful of rejection more than ever. i used to be very popular wherever i go. now, i feel pathetic having no friends. i do meet new people here and then. but i think i have lost the ability to make friends out of that meeting. sometimes, like today, ireally do not know what to do...

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Have you really tried to reach out to your friends and see if they will be there for you? If you just call them up and see if they're free, that doesn't signal to them that you need something. You have to tell them that. If you don't give them a chance to prove their friendship, you'll never know how good of a friend they can be.

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Have you really tried to reach out to your friends and see if they will be there for you? If you just call them up and see if they're free, that doesn't signal to them that you need something. You have to tell them that. If you don't give them a chance to prove their friendship, you'll never know how good of a friend they can be.

 

i didnt want to sound like a leech that was why i didnt persist..

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It's not being a leech. That's what friends are there for. They probably just thought you wanted to go do something and didn't realize that you actually needed them. And if they do see you as a leech for reaching out like that, then you're right they aren't good friends and you don't need them. Helping should go both ways, it shouldn't be just you giving all the time. But give them a chance before deciding if they are really good friends or not.

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It's not being a leech. That's what friends are there for. They probably just thought you wanted to go do something and didn't realize that you actually needed them. And if they do see you as a leech for reaching out like that, then you're right they aren't good friends and you don't need them. Helping should go both ways, it shouldn't be just you giving all the time. But give them a chance before deciding if they are really good friends or not.

 

i would really love to... its difficult to ask for help.. and by asking if they are free is my first step.. if they reply not free, or if they dont reply my text messages, what should i do?

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Ugh I hate it when people don't reply to my text messages. It's such a pet peeve of mine.

 

Maybe instead of saying, are you free, you could ask if they have a second to talk? That sends the message that you're not looking to actually get together, but that you need something. If they still say no and don't offer to call you back to talk, then they're probably not a good friend. I just think that you need to be a little more direct in asking for help.

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5 Signs of A Strong Friendship – ...
5 Signs of A Strong Friendship – Spotting A True Friend

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