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Why would he do this?


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I would try not to worry to much about it, but just don't forget about it for awhile .. and if something else suspicious comes up then talk to him about it.. ask him whats up ..

 

how long have the two of them been broken up? .. how long have the two of you been together?

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Not sure if this proves that he still has feelings for her but I would just ask him about it. I mean sometimes you cant help thinking of a past relationship, what you couldve changed, how that person is etc. I think those things are normal. I guess it just depends on whats going on in his head, what emotions he's feeling when he see's those pictures.

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They've been broken up for like a decade and we've been together for almost 4 years.

 

4 years well that's a long time and denotes some respect and communication .. i would say something like "what are those pictures for" and go from there

 

he could be doing it to get a rise from you too ..

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I save all my old photos-- even the ones featuring exes--

and it has nothing to do with wanting to go back in time, and everything to do with recognizing that the past *is* the past.

 

After 10 years, I doubt he is up to anything shady, especially since you have been together for 4 of them.

Just the same, if you feel uncomfortable, the best thing that you can do is discuss it with him.

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I keep pictures of my exs. mostly because the past is the past...but we also learn from our past, and it's always nice being able to remember happier times...so much easier to remember the bad times...at least for me...

 

So when I feel down or whatever, I just take a gander at my "life" and who use to be apart of it... Just gives me a glimpse of things that's happened. Kind of like when you open up a Scrap Book of your childhood.

 

I wouldn't worry about it...

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I just get the feeling anymore that he's not over her, like he says he is. Like maybe HE is in denial. Like hes not over SOMETHING about her or their relationship. I don't think he's lying to me about his feelings for her, but I think he is lying to himself. I don't know, I could be wrong, but thats just how my gut feeling tells me. But then again, that could just be paranoia speaking. Either way, I don't like it. I can barely even eat just thinking about it.

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Based only on everything you've said in this thread, I think you're reading WAY too much into things.

 

As for the scanning? Hey, it's the digital age. I plan to do the same with all of my photos as soon as I get a chance to.

 

Try to stop jumping to all these massive conclusions.

When you're feeling a little more rational about things, maybe talk to him calmly about the fact that you've been feeling insecure because of some dusty old photos of an ex-girlfriend that he hasn't even been with for a decade.

 

(Sorry for teasing you just a tiny bit, but it just sounds like you are getting way ahead of yourself. If there are any other reasons-- photographs notwithstanding-- that you might have reason to question his feelings for you, then the best thing to set your heart at ease would be to have an open conversation with him and address those insecurities sooner rather than later)

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We've had these discussions, and he wants me to forget about her. But I dont think he can. I would let go of her if I feel he could.

 

you're right, I probably am way over-reacting, but, I can't help it. Especially anytime I am at his parents house, where ALL these pictures of her are and especially since we were there last time and he couldnt help but read old letters from her, even though he knew it was bugging me, not to mention he didn't want me looking at them. That didn't sit with me well. He apologized and told me I had nothing to worry about, but, I just don't know if I can feel that anymore. It just feels like in one way or another, she's always gonna be this elephant in the room and always be in his life. And I HATE that.

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You’re being selfish. Look at your post again. What your saying is. It isn’t right for him to have cared for someone in his past, because you step into the picture…he’s suppose to drop all those feelings and how much she was apart of his life because of you. This girl was obviously apart of his life at one point, and you want to deny him of treasuring and reflecting on what happened.

 

Are you forgetting that he’s with you? It’s not a crime to reflect on our past…he’s not acting on it…he’s just looking back…

 

Heck, if it was a crime I’d be locked away in jail for the same thing. My ex boyfriend, even though it ended horribly, he was my first love and no man is ever going to fill the spot completely…I’ll never be able to forget him… I don’t love often. I like people, but I don’t truly love them.

 

If I had a guy trying to tell me to delete my photos of my past…I’d be hurt…because they didn’t trust me. You’re jealous of someone from his past…and it’s been some time since you two were together.

 

Either you sit down with him and ask that he doesn’t flaunt his reflections around you…basically keep it a secret that he’s thinking about her (which I could see then why it would even be a concern for you…but that seems to be what your wanting)…Or you ask for some sort of moderation in it. Ask him to let you two be apart of each others lives more…instead of his past. Ask him to look forward…and at you and him more often…but don’t ask him to push her out of his life…

 

It isn’t your place to decide who and what he thinks about and cares about. It’s your place to be there for him…and try to understand him…

 

The only option you’re leaving is to let him know that you’re jealous…and that you yourself want more attention. –Which I can almost guarantee won’t always go well.

 

But I’d be honest with him. And then I’d work on my own insecurities that were making me worried about this other person who held a place in his heart…. Instead of being happy that he’s with me now…and at some point some other women had a chance…but he chose to be with me…

 

No one really likes their S.O. getting into all of there things…a lot of girlfriends and boyfriends get in trouble for snooping in their S.O.s text messages or emails… To me…It only reflects on our own insecurities…and we just blind ourselves to hide the fact that the problem really lies mainly in ourselves…

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