Has feelings for an ex

[Laura11111]

Hi everyone,

I finally met a wonderful guy. We talked on the internet for a month, met, and then dated for just over two months. During the dating period we spent a lot of time together and found out we really like each other. Things were so wonderful in so many ways. I have nothing bad to say about him...unfortunately...because he ended things today.

 

He bumped into an ex from three years ago and realized he still has feelings for her. He said he needs to talk to her and doesn't think it's right for him to explore his feelings for her, while dating me.

 

During the conversation, he told me that I'm different than all of the girls he's dated over the past three years...he hasn't lost interest in me. BTW, he said that he lost interest in all of the rest of the girls because he still had feelings for the ex. He then proceeded to tell me how wonderful I am and that he wishes the circumstances were different.

 

I told him that I was glad he was honest but that I'm really dissappointed because I really like him and think he's a wonderful person. I asked him to call me in the future if things don't work out.

 

A few hours after leaving my place, he sent me a message, hoping that we can remain friends because he doesn't want to lose such a great person from his life.

 

What the heck...I'm so hurt and confused. How can I deal with this?

 

I can't be mad at him because he didn't do anything wrong. In fact, he did the right thing by being honest. I can't be mad at myself because nothing was my fault. I can't remind myself of the crappy times because there were none.

 

I have hope that he will find out that he doesn't really have feelings for her and come back. How do I get rid of that hope so it's not torturing me?

 

I'm so sad

[o_hopeless_o]

you and me are in the same boat, cept he is fixated on a girl who treats him like CRAP.

 

sigh, remaining friends could possibly hold you back of course but then i know not even talking to them is painful too, just cause you want to so much.

 

again and again we will always wonder why they put these people on a pedastal.

sorry there was really no great advice. just letting you know your not the only one!

[Laura11111]

you and me are in the same boat, cept he is fixated on a girl who treats him like CRAP.

 

sigh, remaining friends could possibly hold you back of course but then i know not even talking to them is painful too, just cause you want to so much.

 

again and again we will always wonder why they put these people on a pedastal.

sorry there was really no great advice. just letting you know your not the only one!

 

Thanks. It's nice to know that I'm not alone.

[shikashika]

Hey the same thing happened to me.

 

I love how they say they are 'confused' about their feelings.

 

Everyone still remembers their exes in a different way to their friends. Even if they are totally over it they remember them naked and make an issue out of it.

 

ahh... not much I can really say except I do know how you feel.

 

Same with me... this guy told me I was the one for him bla blabla... and even said that he still found his ex annoying, that she wasn't feminine, didnt' treat him right and was probably sleeping with someone else...but whaddayaknow... he wants that.

 

*hugs*

[Laura11111]

Thanks.

 

I talked to him today because I needed some questions answered.

I found out that his relasionship with her, ended badly. She dumped him and he never forgave her. Twice, in the past few years, she tried to get back with him but he was too angry to allow it to happen.

 

I also found out that he only bumped into her on Wednesday (he ended things with me on Friday). He said his feelings for her came flooding back when he saw her.

 

This situation is just so stupid. Whether or not they get back together, it won't work out in the end. Ex's are ex's for a reason and you can't pick up where you left off three years ago. It's just a silly fixation he's had and he needs to explore it.

 

Baahhh...sucks for me.