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NC, but he calls for a date and then cancels


sweetharmony

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My ex is confused about getting back together-says he is in love, but afraid. So I told him not to call me so I can heal. he's been back and forth wishy washy for past month since we broke up. he is constantly calling me every day and gets mad when I don't call back. When I don't return his call, he says I am being rude. He called on Sunday (after 6 days of NC) and asked me to go to our favorite rest. for dinner this weekend to celebrate "our one year of knowing each other." Yesterday would have been our 1 year anniversary.

 

I've been playing it cool, being care-free, and he said "seems like we're getting our balance back."

 

but when we spoke on Wed. he hadn't made reservations and seemed hesitant again.

 

We sort of got into an argument b/c he seemed uninterested and then he said he was staying over my place after and I said something stupid like, "I'm not doing friends with benefits." OK it slipped out. Next day he calls to cancel and says maybe we'll go out next week, he's depressed and hasn't slept and said I was being mean to him. He said I was pressuring him and gave him an ultimatum.

 

I did not do this. I just simply said I was not doing friends with benefits, b/c I've been there done that and so has he.

 

What do I do now? At this point, he cancelled and hasn't made any plans to reschedule.

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If you were in a relationship, I'd say it's worth at least some effort. But when two people getting sending and receiving mixed signals, it's time to give it some "space and time". Emotions are clouding the judgement of both of you. The only way to clear your head is to take some time apart.

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As above, I agree with Zeitgeist but would add that you need to set a time frame from which he can not contact you AT ALL. Perhaps at least 30 days. I know that seems long. Takes that long for panic and bad feelings to subside so you can focus on what you want and need.

 

You love him enough to give him the time he needs to get his act together. You want him to be happy...but you deserve to be happy as well.

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