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I want to get to know her, whats the best way ?


Bob1

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Ok hi new member on the forum here, anyway, heres the situation: Never had a girlfriend so i need your experience, hope the following story doesnt bore you too much.

 

Condensed version: Im at my first year at uni I met a girl when i was drunk, she was really friendly and she played the guitar to me ...we got on well.

 

A couple days later after quite a bit of deliberation, i overcame my nerves and phoned her. I had the plan of casually asking her about her guitar if she wanted to come play the guitar somewhen, and then if the answer was yes that would be great, if it was no, id try to ask her out.

So i phoned her and did my attempt at casual, and casually asked about her guitar etc and we had a quick conversation, but something in my brain stopped me asking her out (probably a good idea as i wanted to get to know her in a more casual situation really). The result was she didnt have a guitar at the moment but would get one in a week ( as i type this its just coming up to a week). About now i realise i should have made sure we meet up again... it turned out she was at the pub when we were on the phone, and that she didnt know when shes back (at least i think thats what she said).

 

Now stupidly ive been hoping to bump into her so i can have another conversation under no pressure. But being realistic thats not gonna happen, since shes getting her guitar soon, i figure if she wants to see me again shell phone and ask if i wanna come over.

But then again maybe she wanted me to phone her in around a week, on the other hand it could be if she doesnt phone, she doesnt want to see me.

 

 

So should i phone? if so what should i say and when. Or any tips at all would be great

 

 

Full version

 

Im at uni, im a guy and i met a girl around a week ago. I was with some flatmates after going to the pub, and after coming back to our halls we invited 3 people we didnt know from the same accomdation to our flat.

 

Anyway we invited them to join us in our flat, and i should mention at that point i was quite drunk but i remember everything clearly (never been drunk enough to forget anything). So being drunk i was very friendly but probably a bit annoying and weird, 2 of the new people were guys the other a girl, i remember while in a room with all of us being nice to them, especially the girl. (Note they were probably drunk too but not as much)

 

Somehow we split into another room and its me the girl and another guy, she played the guitar for ages, and the other guy left but she didnt. I remember saying some quite stupid stuff, yet she didnt leave, also she almost said "ok ill play... you are cute" but cut herself off halfway through "Cute". Also i remember saying shes only got one friend in her flat. Hmm this is mostly irrelelvant..

She left early in the morning. During the middle of this night thing i also collected her phone number (though im not sure if i gave mine to her), along with the other 2 new people. Also one of the other guys suggested we all facebook each other.

So the next day i did that, she accepted. (but facebook is a piece of crap so i didnt take that to mean anything) But facebook made it reasonably sure to me she doesnt have a boyfriend. Also she seems pretty similar to me, in that were both laidback and the least "crazy" of our friends.

 

 

A couple days later after quite a bit of deliberation, i overcame my nerves and phoned her. I had the plan of casually asking her about her guitar if she wanted to come play the guitar somewhen, and then if the answer was yes that would be great, if it was no, id try to ask her out.

So i phoned her and i should probably mention im hopeless on the phone, when she answered i couldnt hear here clearly either whicvh didnt help. So i did my attempt at casual, and casually asked about her guitar etc and we had a quick conversation, but something in my brain stopped me asking her out (probably a good idea as i wanted to get to know her in a more casual situation really). The result was she didnt have a guitar at the moment but would get one in a week ( as i type this its just coming up to a week). About now i realise i should have made sure we meet up again... but i didnt. Instead I suggested about maybe borrowing my friends guitar for tonight if shes free, but it turned out she was at the pub when we were on the phone, and that she didnt know when shes back (at least i think thats what she said).

 

I also had another plan to start another small party with my housemates with the intention of inviting her to it, and probably the other 2 new people to make it more casual. However i didnt manage to set up the party.

 

Now stupidly ive been hoping to bump into her so i can have another conversation under no pressure. But being realistic thats not gonna happen, since shes getting her guitar soon, i figure if she wants to see me again shell phone and ask if i wanna come over.

But then again maybe she wanted me to phone her in around a week, on the other hand it could be if she doesnt phone, she doesnt want to see me.

 

So should i phone? if so what should i say and when. Or any tips at all would be great

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I'm also inexperienced, but I do know one thing: there is roughly a 98% chance she will not call whether she likes you or not, and you will have to do the initiating.

 

In other words, yes, you need to call if you want a shot at this going anywhere. Can't give you any advice beyond that.

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Alright thanks for support guys, ive decided Im useless at phonecalls, I always feel in a rush I cant say what I want to say, even just with friends. So ive sent her a text which took ages to write but its pretty simple and casual, if a bit cheesy I deliberated whether to say i wanted to see her too, but shes pretty intelligent im hoping shell pick that up, just in case i added the "P.S". Problem is its the end of term and theres a 5 week break where everyone goes home... anyway

Lets see what happens... Also regarding her guitar problem, she mentioned on the night that shed broke one and was gonna buy the exact replacement, so i dont think its just a fob off.

 

 

 

" I dont know if you managed to get your new guitar yet, but if youve got some spare time and want to try it out on me, before the end of term, message me, im free most of wednesday and thursday.

 

 

P.S Sorry I realise im coming accross as a bit of a groupie or something ! But I dont think ive ever been serenaded before, you must be have been pretty good!"

 

 

Saying she does invite me, I want to show her im interested in her, without coming on too strong, any ideas. Also should i message her over the holidays ? Argh i think im getting in over my head!.

If this does all work ill probably be asking for advice quite alot along the way so sorry in advance The posting on this forum also makes sure i give it a go for once. Thanks

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Quit with the whole guitar thing. If she doesn't have one, find something else to do. If she likes you, she likes you. You don't need a guitar for your first date or hangout. Unless your whole future relationship is going to be playing the guitar every time you see each other.

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Ok i asked her out - its the day before end of term - but she got an exam, and if just realised her course means I wont be in the same city as her again for the rest of this academic year... just my luck, oh well.

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