JoeCool Posted March 13, 2009 Share Posted March 13, 2009 Sigh I really wish there will come a day when people will be more accepting of homosexuals because quite frankly I'm tired of people's ignorance concerning this matter. Today I go to my local barbershop, and I asked the barber who usually cut my hair there how many people I had a ahead of me. So he told me and as I sat down, I could hear the guy who was getting his haircut from my barber laugh and snicker about how much of a f*g I sound. They both giggled and of course I was annoyed and ticked off a little and so I said loudly.. what was that I couldn't hear you. He acted like he couldn't hear me and he got scared. This isn't the first time this has happened. I am a closeted gay male but I do have some traits about me that have people question my sexuality and it's a little annoying. I have a soft voice and people automatically assume just because my voice is soft, I am gay. It annoys me a lot because how are you going to classify me as something just because of some traits that I have of the stereotypical gay male? I'm tired of hearing eww.. you sound gay or don't do that, you look a little gay when you do that from people. My problem is so what if I look gay? I'm tired of people putting a negative spin on homosexuality.I just want people to respect me as a person. Mainly it's mostly males who throw out and say things like f*g and all these other stupid words that sets me off. Some men act like they are afraid to hang around me, it's annoying and aggravating. I'm a human like everyone else. I'm not an alien for god's sake.. Link to comment
JadedStar Posted March 13, 2009 Share Posted March 13, 2009 WOW joecool, I can't imagine that anyone could be THAT rude! All i can say is sorry for those idiots acting that way. That is unimaginably rude. Right. So what if you sound gay. You are. And it is nobody's business. Link to comment
Binoo Posted March 13, 2009 Share Posted March 13, 2009 It's really terrible, especially in this day and age that there are still people this immature and ignorant. There will always be people that are going to put you down for your sexuality, your race, your clothing...everything. The way I see it is, with these kinds of comments and reactions, you can easily weed out a lot of real jerks before they can even become a part of your life. My parents are always going on about my clothing/piercings etc and telling me that people are going to make snap judgements about me and say awful things. So let them! Who needs people that close minded and that judgemental in their lives, anyway? I wouldn't want to get to know them anymore than they would want to get to know me if they're going to treat me badly without even speaking to me. I know the comments still sting but try to think of it in those terms and you'll realize that worrying about these people is a waste of your precious time and energy. Link to comment
BrunetteBarbie Posted March 13, 2009 Share Posted March 13, 2009 I know i can rly understand you. But in your case just ignore those ppl. In the world there is full of ignorant, aggressive stupid tards, just dont care about them...there are so many other things ppl make fun of about others...Not only black people or ppl from different cultures and customs its things like physcial traits , character traits, u know, if someone is different then the other and sticks out from the mass, he will be looked at very closely, and judged harshly. Ive gone through it and many others have too. One girl in my school wears a wig (she has a hair disease and does not want to show her natural hair ) and ppl make fun of her and talk about her etc. We have also have homosexuals in the school but everybody respects them and does not make fun of them. But its normal when a guy is acting in a "homosexual way" or looks in that way (u know what I mean) then its weird for ppl and the closed-minded ppl make fun of it. Its what you have to deal with, there will always and forever be ppl who have not tolerance for ppl who are "different". But they are who you dont have to associate with. Be better then them, know what u are worth, and stand above them to be able to say, you can say what you want, I dont care a thing, I am who I am. I respect homosexuals there is absoluty nothing wrong with them at all, I have a close gay friend hes one of the greatest persons Ive ever met. Just ignore the ignorants. THey arent worth your time. Dont let them get you down !! Link to comment
My Advice Posted March 13, 2009 Share Posted March 13, 2009 Joe I hear yah. I am a straight male. I was EXTREMELY homophobic when I was a kid having grown up in the Midwestern bible belt with family members who detest gays, and then one day after meeting a gay guy I thought, hmm, what is the point? This guy is funny and cool as hell and fun to hang around with. It still doesn't make me want his c**k. From there I just naturally became relaxed and outgoing with them. I have a lot of gay male friends. I have given them relationship advice, hung out with them, and think gay men tend to have an aspect to them that I find easier to deal with "sometimes" than my majority of straight male AND female friends. They are less alpha, less of a you v me theme like what I enjoy among my female friends while at the same time having a sense of humor that appeals to me which is more common among men than women. If a gay guy hits on me I find it a compliment that they appreciate me that way but simply say no, sorry man I am straight" while trying to not make it too awkward. I know some of my straight friends who got very uncomfortable with me inviting gay males to hang out (although my straight female friends usually find it an attractive quality about me). Although I sometimes don't like gay men who are 'too' flamboyant a lot of times (just as I detest girls who are "too" girly) none of my gay friends do either. My point isn't how enlightened I am about it but rather how I have listened to the kind of crap that gay men have to deal with and I honestly sympathize. We live in a society where things are very backwards with regards to gay people and the world as a whole is very ignorant about this subject. However unless human civilization regresses significantly like through a nuclear war or some other severe catastrophe that society doesn't for whatever reason adapt to, gay people, and esp men who are by far treated more poorly than lesbians, will some day not have to deal with this crap. Great evolutionary advances in western culture have been made. At some point people will overwhelmingly realize that you can be straight and still have very close friendships with gay men and that gay rights only strengthen the ideal of marriage, romantic love and freedom, not weaken it. Not sure where you live but perhaps living in a city like here in NYC or somewhere with high gay populations and more liberal attitudes towards would be beneficial to you. It can be annoying being straight and male and being assumed there is some inner gay there no matter how masculine you are just because you hang around gay people and that doesn't hold a candle to what you have to deal with. The only people more discriminated against than gays is probably the mentally ill and even then, not by much. By the way, whoever said that around you deserves to be "straight" bashed. Link to comment
Lowconfidence Posted March 13, 2009 Share Posted March 13, 2009 I think any straight male who bashes homosexuals is a retard. Homosexuals won't try and sleep with you SO, flirt with them, or try to steal them. More homosexuals means less competition. More homosexuals means less opportunities for females to cheat with. There should be more homosexuals. Link to comment
My Advice Posted March 13, 2009 Share Posted March 13, 2009 I think any straight male who bashes homosexuals is a retard. Homosexuals won't try and sleep with you SO, flirt with them, or try to steal them. More homosexuals means less competition. More homosexuals means less opportunities for females to cheat with. There should be more homosexuals. lol I like that. Link to comment
l9grl Posted March 13, 2009 Share Posted March 13, 2009 why are you closeted? are you ashamed of being gay? afraid? Link to comment
JoeCool Posted March 13, 2009 Author Share Posted March 13, 2009 why are you closeted? are you ashamed of being gay? afraid? I'm closeted because it's too much of a hassle coming out of the closet to family & friends. I come from a culture and an area full of bible thumping christians, especially in my family & I just don't have time to hear the ridicule from family & friends.Not to mention I live in an area full of close minded and ignorant people, seeing how most out of the closeted gay people are treated here, I might as well stay in the closet.. I also guess apart of me is ashamed in some aspect. I just don't want people to treat me differently because of who I am. Link to comment
JoeCool Posted March 13, 2009 Author Share Posted March 13, 2009 I think any straight male who bashes homosexuals is a retard. Homosexuals won't try and sleep with you SO, flirt with them, or try to steal them. More homosexuals means less competition. More homosexuals means less opportunities for females to cheat with. There should be more homosexuals. LOL I like that as well.. wish more people thought like you. Link to comment
JoeCool Posted March 13, 2009 Author Share Posted March 13, 2009 They don't really get me down, it's the fact that I want to be respected and treated as an equal. I get so tired of people trying to bully me or harass me. The last guy that called me a f*g, I socked him in the mouth and I ended up getting in trouble mostly.. This was when I was in high school. I'm just tired of dumb people... I refuse to take crap from anyone! Link to comment
unabashed Posted March 14, 2009 Share Posted March 14, 2009 I know what you are saying. The ignorance and prejudice in the world makes me so sad and angry and, yes, sometimes, afraid for myself and for my kids. I live in a pretty supportive bubble, I think. I'm just "myself" wherever I am, and people tend to be OK around me. I realize that some have negative opinions, but I think that's their right. But, the other day, I had a bit of a reality check when my teenaged daughter (who is developmentally disabled but not stupid) came home and told me about a conversation with her friend. She asked her why she could never play at our house (where we live with my partner), but she could go to her dad's. She outright asked if it was because of me and my partner being women, and the girl told her yes--her mom has a problem with it. I went through all kinds of emotions in a very short minute, and finally, all I could say is that everyone is entitled to what they believe, but it's sad when they are motivated by hate and fear, and sad that it affects her and her friend. Link to comment
pianoguy Posted March 14, 2009 Share Posted March 14, 2009 Hi Joe, Is there a reason that you are living where you are living? Why don't you move somewhere more tolerant? I don't know if you're in the south or something, but I've heard that even there many of the larger cities are becoming more tolerant. I'd encourage you to think about coming out for your own sake. Coming out is a good process for anybody because when you are in the closet, it does indicate to some extent that you are ashamed/and or/afraid, which you shouldn't be (unless you really think there would be a threat to your physical safety). I found that after coming out people were much more respectful to my face. I'm sure that they said the same things behind my back that they said before, but who gives a d***. It was a really great thing to do for my self-esteem and mental health. I think in this day and age, there's so many cities and so many parts of the country that really just don't see this as an issue anymore. I don't see any reason gay people should have to suffer an unsupportive environment, so I would just say get the heck out of wherever you are. Link to comment
Unusual U Posted March 14, 2009 Share Posted March 14, 2009 I agree with pianoguy 100%. It's actually what I plan to do when I leave HS: Go to NYC. I think that some people's aspect on homosexuality is ridiculous. I'm constantly called gay because, apparently, my voice is gay. And because I don't wanna be too aggressive with people, physicaly. Or because I don't enjoy making sexual comments infront of everyone. It sucks because some people don't want to be around gay people because they think it's gross. It's worse when your parents are totally against homosexuality, which mine are, and makes it soooo much harder to come out to them. Imagine how hard life is to be straight. . . . Now imagine how hard life is to be gay. . . . It's hard. . . . Link to comment
unabashed Posted March 14, 2009 Share Posted March 14, 2009 I agree with pianoguy 100%. It's actually what I plan to do when I leave HS: Go to NYC. I think that some people's aspect on homosexuality is ridiculous. I'm constantly called gay because, apparently, my voice is gay. And because I don't wanna be too aggressive with people, physicaly. Or because I don't enjoy making sexual comments infront of everyone. It sucks because some people don't want to be around gay people because they think it's gross. It's worse when your parents are totally against homosexuality, which mine are, and makes it soooo much harder to come out to them. Imagine how hard life is to be straight. . . . Now imagine how hard life is to be gay. . . . It's hard. . . . It is hard to be gay, but it's even more difficult to try to be something you're not. These are not just empty words or some kind of new age philosophy. No matter how old (or young) you are, it's never too late to learn to be comfortable in your own skin. There are all kinds of reasons why others won't like you. The only control you or I have is over ourselves, and how we feel about who we are. That said, it is much easier and more comfortable to live in an area where others are prone to be more open and accepting. Link to comment
BrunetteBarbie Posted March 14, 2009 Share Posted March 14, 2009 They don't really get me down, it's the fact that I want to be respected and treated as an equal. I get so tired of people trying to bully me or harass me. The last guy that called me a f*g, I socked him in the mouth and I ended up getting in trouble mostly.. This was when I was in high school. I'm just tired of dumb people... I refuse to take crap from anyone! Yes, but you must understand that a LOT of ppl dont get treat as an equal cuz of how they look/how they are/what religion/culture/skin color/nationatliy/life style etc. closedminded and ignorant ppl will always disrespect others and not only the homosexuals. It is something which we all have to deal with, I get disrespected too and not treated like an equal by some ppl, and u know what, I just dont care.... I just continue my way and I simply dont listen and I do not let it bother me. Link to comment
chiefoptimizer Posted March 14, 2009 Share Posted March 14, 2009 Why do you seek their acceptance? They are not worth your time tbh! Link to comment
lukeb Posted March 14, 2009 Share Posted March 14, 2009 Why do you seek their acceptance? They are not worth your time tbh! I would have to agree. Part of your frustration has to come from your own insecurites and fears. These are things you can work on yourself. There isnt much you can do about the ignorance and fears of others, so I would say let it be. Link to comment
StretchGee Posted March 14, 2009 Share Posted March 14, 2009 So he told me and as I sat down, I could hear the guy who was getting his haircut from my barber laugh and snicker about how much of a f*g I sound. I'd definitely find a new barber. Hopefully you do not live in too much of a small town for that. Link to comment
StretchGee Posted March 14, 2009 Share Posted March 14, 2009 Homosexuals won't try and sleep with you SO, flirt with them, or try to steal them. More homosexuals means less competition. More homosexuals means less opportunities for females to cheat with. There should be more homosexuals. Uhhhh, unless they are lesbians. Link to comment
Lucy__lou Posted March 15, 2009 Share Posted March 15, 2009 I could hear the guy who was getting his haircut from my barber laugh and snicker about how much of a f*g I sound. It's so disgusting that people today are still using homosexuality as if it's a valid insult. It just goes to show that any attribute can be used as an insult if the intent is hateful. Well done on calling him on his rudeness, at least even if you're closeted (and understandably so in your circumstances - living in the bible belt), you still at least have some guts. I hope you are planning your getaway to a better city. It's very rare for anyone to thrive in hostile and hateful conditions, and I'm sure that if you made it to a bigger, less bigoted city you would find you would have a lot more energy to achieve whatever you want in life. I also encourage you to work towards coming out. I think sometimes homophobia can be harsher towards people who are closeted than people who are out, because people know that if someone is out, then they accept themselves, and they're less likely to take on any of the negativity thrown at them, but if they are closeted, then it indicates that they are ashamed, and that gives more power to the haters, cause it's easier to use against you. Also, people can smell fear, and they can sense it if someone is hiding who they really are. Hiding who you are is hard work, saps your energy, prevents you from reaching your potential, and makes it easier for people to tip you over, because you're not as solid on the ground, you're too busy trying to maintain an appearance that doesn't come naturally. The first step is realising that homophobes are ignorant scum, and that you don't deserve any of the rubbish they dish out at you. The second step is to fully realise that being gay is NORMAL, and that you deserve to be surrounded by supportive people who have the intelligence to treat you like a human being. P.S. if you're near Kansas city, I've heard that city is a bit of an oasis from the scary culture which surrounds it. Link to comment
mattguy Posted June 5, 2009 Share Posted June 5, 2009 people are such tools sometimes. I kind of think 'gay sounding' voices are really cute. Link to comment
chiefoptimizer Posted June 6, 2009 Share Posted June 6, 2009 +1. Thank you Luy_lou for putting this in words so well Link to comment
bw34618 Posted June 8, 2009 Share Posted June 8, 2009 You must live in the rural South. I live in Little Rock, Arkansas and experience this type of stuff quite a bit. I am too a very closetted gay male (its too dangerous to come out around here). I am also not alpha so I have to work extra-hard to make people think I am straight. The other day I was hanging out with a gay guy at the pool and we started getting a little friendly and boy I did pay the price for it. There are places in this country where homosexuals are more accepted but small southern and midwestern towns are not them. Link to comment
coyote1980 Posted June 8, 2009 Share Posted June 8, 2009 It's human nature to get either curious or scared of something you are not used to. You just need to be as open minded as possible to those ignorant types and communicate as much as possible if you ever want them to have some kind of understanding. Of course most people like that will never accept homosexuality because of their religious beliefs or some twisted way they were raised. It's sad, but sometimes you need to accept that there are people out there who will never understand you just like we don't understand those ignorant jerks. It's my favorite quote from Rent. "I'm more of a man than you'll ever be and more of a woman than you'll ever get." Link to comment
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