Myles Posted March 13, 2009 Share Posted March 13, 2009 I don't understand, I try to be a nice person and regardless of what happened in my life, I've always tried to be happy.I just feel like happiness never comes for me. I've never really ever had a point in my life where I actually felt happy and content with myself. I feel unloved,unattractive and ugly. I've never really dated anyone and I hardly ever attract females. I went on a date recently with a girl I was really liking after talking on the phone and the internet for 2 months. It seemed like after we met and our first date, she lost interest and she see's me as a friend now, which hurts. Now these last couple of days, she doesn't even answer the phone for me. This happens with most females.. what is it,am I unattractive,boring? I've been without a job for 5 months now & more and more each day I feel miserable. I've never really been close with my family and at times my own family doesn't even seem to care about me..well except for my mom. It's hard for me to make friends.. It seems I make a set of friends from time to time but I find most people to be self absorbed. They only call me when they need something or for me to listen to them, so I'm basically their counselor. No one ever asks about me or how I'm feeling Going out to make friends seems to be a waste of time as I never find anyone I feel a connection with. I'm getting to the point where I don't even feel like being around people.. I've stopped answering everyone's phonecalls for about a week. I'm just tired.. All I do is lay in bed and sleep.. I'm confused because I don't know where I'm getting at. I just feel very alone and depressed. I don't know what to do with my life anymore as everything seems like such a dud to me now.. Nothing going for me... Link to comment
floating_away Posted March 13, 2009 Share Posted March 13, 2009 Your situation sounds a lot like mine. Unfortunately that also means that I don't have much advice to give you. We have to ignore the urge to shut ourselves away from everyone, and instead actively try and seek out social contact. That's what the solution to loneliness is right? Try and downplay the lack of a romantic relationship, both of us are likely not in good positions to do that right now. Regardless of whether you've found people that find you interesting, or that don't think of you as just a sounding board, there are lots of people out there who can be the friends you want to have. Good luck. Link to comment
jas56 Posted March 13, 2009 Share Posted March 13, 2009 I know EXACTLY how you feel man. Its really tough sometimes and the worst thing is people thinking your being overly dramatic about the situation when your not. It is what it is. The only thing about it, you realize reality, why play yourself? You know what you could try? go to link removed and try to find something in your area. Even though theres alot of things to do where im at, I at least show up to one of them and it makes me feel better that I go. Dating in todays society.......ugh I dunno. Im sorry that you feel this way and I really hope that things change, even if its little by little. Take it easy. Link to comment
Myles Posted March 13, 2009 Author Share Posted March 13, 2009 I know EXACTLY how you feel man. Its really tough sometimes and the worst thing is people thinking your being overly dramatic about the situation when your not. It is what it is. The only thing about it, you realize reality, why play yourself? You know what you could try? go to link removed and try to find something in your area. Even though theres alot of things to do where im at, I at least show up to one of them and it makes me feel better that I go. Dating in todays society.......ugh I dunno. Im sorry that you feel this way and I really hope that things change, even if its little by little. Take it easy. I'm done with internet dating..All I ever seem to run into are shallow,stuck up females. It seems like for most girls, if you don't have a six pack,a face like brad pitt.. You're basically nothing. I think I'm a pretty ok looking guy, I'm no 10 on the scale but I think I'm decent, I believe I have a great personality but whatever I'm done.. I thank you for replying. I'm just really angry inside because I always get treated miserably by people and I don't deserve it. I'm a really nice guy.. nice guys always finish last I guess.. Link to comment
jas56 Posted March 13, 2009 Share Posted March 13, 2009 Wait Wait!! actually link removed is NOT a dating site paticularly. Its a way to get out of the house. You can find various activities going on around your community. Theres meetups from webdesign to, playing volleyball, to finding a guitar group. Seriously please go check it out and tell me what you think? Keep your head up. Try not to give up. Link to comment
mr me Posted March 13, 2009 Share Posted March 13, 2009 I can kinda relate to what you are saying. I think sometimes it comes to looking for things in the wrong places or at the wrong time. I grew up being pretty miserable and always wanted to make things work for me because they didnt. I guess thats really the only choice i had because i didnt want things to be that bad but they were. I guess im finally trying to be ok with things eventho its still hard because i still dont like alot about my life. Its just no matter what i do im just gonna have to deal with it. I think advice wise you need to look at yourself and see what you could be doing different or better. I say that because right now your basically putting everything on everyone else. I understand that because ive been there and am still trying to get over it. The thing is when it comes down to it your the only one that can really make your life better. You can have everything in the world but if you arent happy with yourself all of that stuff wont matter. You seem to be stuck right now and maybe some of it might have to do with yourself because you are just tired of the way things have been. Its not easy to get yourself out of that and even with myself i dont know how to deal with it sometimes. I also think you might want to look into seeing if you try to be nice to people so they are nice to you back. It also works that way with love sometimes where people try to love that person so they get the same love back. I dont think that works when you see it like that eventho it might seem nice that way. Ive basically been thru just about everything you have been thru and the only thing i can tell you is to try to not believe that its going to always be like that. Link to comment
jas56 Posted March 13, 2009 Share Posted March 13, 2009 True, I have to remind myself every day to try and do these things. Link to comment
Wolf_22 Posted March 13, 2009 Share Posted March 13, 2009 I don't understand, I try to be a nice person and regardless of what happened in my life, I've always tried to be happy.I just feel like happiness never comes for me. ... Nothing going for me... Judging from your post, you sound very overloaded with emotion and it's blocking your growth and development. Have you ever tried to narrow down to root causes? I know I must sound patronizing or condescending, but the reason I ask this is because some people lack the awareness to acknowledge certain elements of their lives. Regardless, try to think about what is causing this growth issue. Could it be that you simply have too many problems to focus on at once? Could it be that one single problem seems to cause a domino-like impact on your life to where many other problems all stem from one singular occurrence? Write some of this down and do some brainstorming to figure out the primary issues that you can divide and conquer. The more you do this, the eventual product produced will be the final goal in which you always meant to achieve: albeit finding love, getting fit, landing a great job; whatever. Remember, too, that every change always begins with the mind and if you want change bad enough, you'll have to realize that those kinds of changes can't happen overnight. They take time and constant focus. Link to comment
elle83 Posted March 13, 2009 Share Posted March 13, 2009 Myles - i know sometimes it feels as though we're are suffering rather than enjoying the perks of life... and i battle with this issue myself, having gone thru depression as a teenager. but you just have to pull through with the right mindset. i can relate to your experiences with dating, but that will always come in life, whether with girls, jobs, or anything we want. dating is like finding that missing piece to our own puzzle, it's more than likely that we'll run into the wrong ones for us. try not to let it get you down, although i completely understand how it could hurt. the right girl for you is out there, but you must know your self-worth first. it's really tough for anyone to conquer this, but it sure does help once you're on your way. maybe you could do activities that boost your confidence, such as working out or volunteering. try to find your passions in life and go for it (at least try to). it's nice to have a goal set and have something to look forward to and people are naturally attracted to people who are passionate about what they do. sometimes being truly happy is accepting exactly what you have but in an non-bias approach; it shouldn't "come" to you. i know it's easier said than done (i battle with this myself), but it doesn't hurt to try. it sounds cliche but it's oh-so true: think of the things you are lucky to have and are grateful for. i hope things get better..chin up! Link to comment
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