sasha1982 Posted March 13, 2009 Share Posted March 13, 2009 Hey guys.. I need some thoughts here... In all your experiences dating, you know that feeling you get when you kiss someone and you just CLICK.. it's so passionate, smooth, your rythem is just so in sync.. You could kiss for hours... What is that?? Chemistry? I definitely know I DON'T have that/feel that with everyone.. only a select few. And in your opinion, is that feeling because BOTH people share that chemistry, or is it just something YOU feel inside when kissing the person because you really really like them or are into them? What do you think? Link to comment
Keyman Posted March 13, 2009 Share Posted March 13, 2009 I don't think that chemistry is something that happens when you just kiss. Being close to someone, their touch can have the same effect. With the girl I've been seeing and I, when we touch it just feels electric. When we are near each other there is just a feeling of well being and when we kiss, it takes our breaths away. I think both people should feel it as it is, in theory, a chemical reaction that should effect both people. There is, of course, the quantum mechanics theory for those of us who a spiritual and scientific. Each of us is surrounded by an invisible electromagnetic field often called an aura. It vibrates at a certain frequency that is often dependent on our moods and emotions. If we are feeling good, it vibrates in a certain way, and if we are not, it's slightly different. When two people's electro fields comes into contact they react and a new vibration is formed, sometimes good, sometimes bad. If it's good, it can feel a little euphoric and you get that real chemistry effect - ie my electric feeling when I am near this girl I'm seeing. Anyway, Quantum mechanics science lesson over, you can all wake up now! Link to comment
JeckyllNHyde Posted March 13, 2009 Share Posted March 13, 2009 Hey guys.. I need some thoughts here... In all your experiences dating, you know that feeling you get when you kiss someone and you just CLICK.. it's so passionate, smooth, your rythem is just so in sync.. You could kiss for hours... What is that?? Chemistry? I definitely know I DON'T have that/feel that with everyone.. only a select few. And in your opinion, is that feeling because BOTH people share that chemistry, or is it just something YOU feel inside when kissing the person because you really really like them or are into them? What do you think? I think it's both. I've kissed guys I reallllly liked, who where bad kissers. That feeling wasn't fully there. I think the guys who I felt that electric feeling with just where good kissers lol. With my bf it was undescribably. Probably b/c we waited A LONG time to finally make a move and kiss. I'd been wanting it for ages, so had he. If he'd been a bad kisser it wouldn't have been the same. Link to comment
Traveler27 Posted March 13, 2009 Share Posted March 13, 2009 Hey guys.. I need some thoughts here... In all your experiences dating, you know that feeling you get when you kiss someone and you just CLICK.. it's so passionate, smooth, your rythem is just so in sync.. You could kiss for hours... What is that?? Chemistry? I definitely know I DON'T have that/feel that with everyone.. only a select few. And in your opinion, is that feeling because BOTH people share that chemistry, or is it just something YOU feel inside when kissing the person because you really really like them or are into them? What do you think? I think when you are feeling this type of strong chemistry or "spark" with someone, it's probably a mutual feeling between the two people. When you are kissing someone, if you are feeling that incredible connection and desire to CONTINUE kissing them (not everyone is a great kisser as mentioned before), then I think it's safe to assume that the other person is feeling the same. It sounds simple, but honestly I think you just know. And yes, the whole chemistry thing is oh so elusive!!! Link to comment
ghost69 Posted March 13, 2009 Share Posted March 13, 2009 it's part of chemistry because i could not date someone that kissed terribly. Link to comment
servedcold Posted March 13, 2009 Share Posted March 13, 2009 Chemistry is a myth. Many use it as an "it's there or it's not" element to explain simply that they don't find someone attractive, that's fine, but really just an empty statement. If someone kisses wrong, it's a matter of technique. If someone smells bad, they smell bad. If someone has bad breath they have bad breath. There is always a better, more descriptive and precise word or phrase than "chemistry" to describe a reaction to a member of the opposite sex. Link to comment
drewciouS281 Posted March 13, 2009 Share Posted March 13, 2009 Chemistry and kissing style are important but IMO doesnt mean ill get that feeling! Ive kissed good kissers but still didnt feel chemistry. Ive kissed bad kissers and definitley didnt feel the chemistry but there have been afew that i just felt that spark when i kissed them and they were ones i usually ended up dating. My girlfriend now i probably feel the best spark with. I cant get enough of kissing her and when we kiss we just wanna smash our faces together even harder. lol. She had one kissing style at first and i had my own but we put the two together and made our own. Link to comment
ghost69 Posted March 13, 2009 Share Posted March 13, 2009 chemistry is a myth? no way. it conglomerates everything i look for. looks, personality, interests, etc. if none of that is there, there is only a bit of chemistry. chemistry = clicking, to me. if you don't have one thing or another that i look for or must have, chemistry really isn't there. Link to comment
servedcold Posted March 13, 2009 Share Posted March 13, 2009 chemistry = clicking, to me. if you don't have one thing or another that i look for or must have, chemistry really isn't there. Fair enough, then when you click with someone, you click with them. you "hit it off," you are "attracted," "you feel a spark." Why bring in the nebulous term "chemistry?" It's a meaningless marketing-originated word. Specifically, I'm tired of hearing women use it in the phrase "there was just no chemistry, and if chemistry isn't there from the start, it never will be." A statement that has lots of ridiculous subtext attached to it. Link to comment
ghost69 Posted March 13, 2009 Share Posted March 13, 2009 Fair enough, then when you click with someone, you click with them. you "hit it off," you are "attracted," "you feel a spark." Why bring in the nebulous term "chemistry?" It's a meaningless marketing-originated word. Specifically, I'm tired of hearing women use it in the phrase "there was just no chemistry, and if chemistry isn't there from the start, it never will be." A statement that has lots of ridiculous subtext attached to it. who is marketing that word? what do you want them to say? 'i felt no spark.' 'his nose was too big.' 'he farted on our date and i smelled it too.' 'he just isn't attractive.' 'he's boring.' what is it you want to hear? Link to comment
servedcold Posted March 13, 2009 Share Posted March 13, 2009 who is marketing that word? what do you want them to say? 'i felt no spark.' 'his nose was too big.' 'he farted on our date and i smelled it too.' 'he just isn't attractive.' 'he's boring.' what is it you want to hear? Any of those things are better, more precise, and more descriptive than constantly resorting to "chemistry. Ask 10 people what they mean by "bad breath," and you will get the same answer from all 10 people. Ask 10 people what they mean by chemistry, and you get things like "well it's an elusive quality of feeling...." and whatever comes next is how the feeling should be described without all the "chemistry" hot air precedent. Rule of thumb, the sign of a bad word or concept is if you can ask several people to define it and they say different things. "Chemistry" when applied to relationships and attraction is one of those bad words. Link to comment
ghost69 Posted March 13, 2009 Share Posted March 13, 2009 Any of those things are better, more precise, and more descriptive than constantly resorting to "chemistry. Ask 10 people what they mean by "bad breath," and you will get the same answer from all 10 people. Ask 10 people what they mean by chemistry, and you get things like "well it's an elusive quality of feeling...." and whatever comes next is how the feeling should be described without all the "chemistry" hot air precedent. Rule of thumb, the sign of a bad word or concept is if you can ask several people to define it and they say different things. "Chemistry" when applied to relationships and attraction is one of those bad words. sometimes people don't want to give specifics. but it is all rolled up into the word chemistry. i understand your bias with the word. all good. Link to comment
My Advice Posted March 13, 2009 Share Posted March 13, 2009 I believe in chemistry which is a mixture of looks, style, personality, and circumstance. I think kissing however is more of a technique. Nobody kisses somebody and realizes because of the way that person kissed there is no chemistry. That's silly harlequin BS. However if a person is a bad kisser that can circumvent potentially good chemistry by prejudicing that person against further interaction. Most people like a good kiss. Link to comment
ghost69 Posted March 16, 2009 Share Posted March 16, 2009 isn't saying it's crap that it's not chemistry and then saying everyone loves a good kiss kind of bassakwards? either way, agree to disagree. Link to comment
My Advice Posted March 16, 2009 Share Posted March 16, 2009 isn't saying it's crap that it's not chemistry and then saying everyone loves a good kiss kind of bassakwards? either way, agree to disagree. No, it definitely isn't. Chemistry implies it is a little more fixed. Kissing is a technique from which the habit for it is more of practice and discernable learning with the proper instruction. I might be feeling really confident one day and be totally suave with a girl because of my mood which enhances my game and technique where as on another day I might feel insecure and totally F it up. One is based off circumstance and skill, the other one the only circumstance is the background of individual characteristics that led to it and their ability to adapt to "something different than the chemistry from which they are usually attracted to". Good kissers are 'closer' to universal like a good surgeon than the kind of characteristics that make up good chemistry; "I like blonde hair, his politics, his sense of humor, his style." The worst kiss I ever gave when I was nervous I shoved my tongue down her throat and sucked on her lips. With other girls I did it closer to what you see in movies, "less, slower, but not withdrawn," and the clearly enjoyed it much more. Chemistry is more like a checklist. Link to comment
epsilon2x Posted March 16, 2009 Share Posted March 16, 2009 Lust That happens with just about every girl when I kiss them the first time. It's just exciting because it's something new. Link to comment
ghost69 Posted March 16, 2009 Share Posted March 16, 2009 techniques vary though man. Link to comment
My Advice Posted March 16, 2009 Share Posted March 16, 2009 techniques vary though man. Yes, in some sense but don't you think that a lot of bad kissers all tend to have a lot of the same qualities in common as do a lot of the good kissers? When people talk chemistry it is almost like they are making a check list with some things being more important than others or absolutely neccesary. Whenever you hear about a girl complaining on here or in real life about a bad kisser it is usually because the guy shoved his tongue down her mouth when they first met or tried to suck her lip off rather than kissing her with more grace and following the movement of each others lips like they do in movies. People, esp guys, often think more is better and you get the same complaints where kissing is concerned. Link to comment
ghost69 Posted March 17, 2009 Share Posted March 17, 2009 Yes, in some sense but don't you think that a lot of bad kissers all tend to have a lot of the same qualities in common as do a lot of the good kissers? When people talk chemistry it is almost like they are making a check list with some things being more important than others or absolutely neccesary. Whenever you hear about a girl complaining on here or in real life about a bad kisser it is usually because the guy shoved his tongue down her mouth when they first met or tried to suck her lip off rather than kissing her with more grace and following the movement of each others lips like they do in movies. People, esp guys, often think more is better and you get the same complaints where kissing is concerned. well, i think chemistry is very real. i don't have a checklist, but i need to feel chemistry right off the bat. people always ask what chemistry is, that is where some kind of 'list' as you put it comes out. i don't know why you don't understand that chemistry must be present for people. and if it is a checklist for some, so what? i wouldn't waste my time trying to make a girl kiss better or what i think would be better for her. kissing either turns me on or it puts me off. puts me off pretty much kills it for me. Link to comment
My Advice Posted March 21, 2009 Share Posted March 21, 2009 well, i think chemistry is very real. i don't have a checklist, but i need to feel chemistry right off the bat. people always ask what chemistry is, that is where some kind of 'list' as you put it comes out. i don't know why you don't understand that chemistry must be present for people. and if it is a checklist for some, so what? i wouldn't waste my time trying to make a girl kiss better or what i think would be better for her. kissing either turns me on or it puts me off. puts me off pretty much kills it for me. Oh I never said chemistry wasn't real. I said it is a combination of many factors, some more important than others, but rarely does somebody kiss a certain way that will turn a person off, that they themselves can't correct. Clearly some people have better "more universal" techniques of good kissing. If you kiss like Bogart and Ingrid in Casablanca you are going to be far far more enjoyable than somebody who kisses like a snake trying to crawl its way down somebodies throat. If an attractive girl who you have a lot in common with kisses you and turns you off i would suggest you have more patience. You probably are going to pass up good opportunity. The girl who didn't like my kiss later seemed willing to give me another chance (given she is dead and seriously regretted our falling out after having insulting me for it) I can never know for sure if it would have made a difference but twenty bucks says it would. Eitherway, kissing itself isn't chemistry. I kissed completely differently the others after her. It was just circumstance. Link to comment
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