jaykay Posted March 12, 2009 Share Posted March 12, 2009 If the ex has 'supposedly' found somebody new and moved on and you are currently 'NC'. then why would she still waste her time by sending me nasty messages. My question is, has she really moved on? and do you think that it would have any effect on her 'new' relationship (even if the messages are not nice - it still shows that she is thinking of me from time to time). I think that if I had moved on and was happy with somebody new, then I probably wouldn't the ex a second thought. Link to comment
_ash_ Posted March 12, 2009 Share Posted March 12, 2009 i dont think she has fully moved on.. this will most likely affect her new realtionship. it probably wont las too long. what happened ? why did you guys break up? maybe she has some issues that she hasnt resolved with it. Link to comment
odile Posted March 12, 2009 Share Posted March 12, 2009 If the ex has 'supposedly' found somebody new and moved on and you are currently 'NC'. then why would she still waste her time by sending me nasty messages. My question is, has she really moved on? and do you think that it would have any effect on her 'new' relationship (even if the messages are not nice - it still shows that she is thinking of me from time to time). Ewww, sounds like your ex is someone you should be glad to be rid of. Doesn't sound like she's moved on-- which doesn't necessarily mean that she has loving feelings for you (can't say either way on that one), but rather, she hasn't processed/learnt/healed from your experiences together. And certainly, if someone's not reconciled with their past, it can interfere with their present. Link to comment
LoveLovelove10 Posted March 12, 2009 Share Posted March 12, 2009 Its hard to say but I've seen it go both ways. If she is just sending you random texts out of the blue without you saying or doing something to her first, than probably shes still thinking of you. But if you did something to provoke a bad text, than shes probably just genuinely annoyed. Link to comment
CandyKins Posted March 12, 2009 Share Posted March 12, 2009 You know, maybe she's sending you nasty messages to show her love for you... I mean we all can confess/show our love in strange ways. eh? *_* i mean you guys are in the NC and if the messages are sent a lot then it is time to think whether she still loves you. I mean if that's the case then I would think so. I think you better get together and talk this through. Perhaps she would confess. But you gotta be serious. if you really love someone it takes a long while to fully move on... espeically if you were with them for a long time. and even though you're with someone. My ex... well it's been 10 months and says he's met someone and says he's fallen for her and confessed to her on VD etc... but somehow in my heart... i still think he hasn't gotten over me yet. he told me to listen to a song "here without you" by 3 doors down. and the next day asked whether i listened to it. I wonder if he would ask again for the third time lol! But after hearing that song, it wonderfully did made me wonder... Oh my dear beloved Ray!! *cries* heh heh. ](*,) Link to comment
thedude27 Posted March 13, 2009 Share Posted March 13, 2009 Anger means they care. If you dont care why would you be angry with someone, it just wouldnt matter enough to get upset about. They may "hate" you but that is caused by you causing her pain, frustration or fear not from her lack of caring. It means she still has feelings for you, but it doesnt mean she will act on them. Indifference is the opposite of love, not hate. Link to comment
jaykay Posted March 15, 2009 Author Share Posted March 15, 2009 Thanks for all your replies, they are all greatly apreciated. The messages have now changed into 'long' 3 page text messages that seem to be pointless ramblings about nothing. They are sent late at night and because I don't respond (either phone switched off or asleep) I get a nastier one a bit later. She is definitely trying to hold onto any bit of power that she feels that she has. One of the messages stated that she now knows that I have moved out and then tells me how happy she is in her life. I think that the point of that message was to tell me that she knows what I'm doing - even though it's no secret. About 30 minutes later I'm sent another message that starts off with "the more I think about it the angrier I get....and ends up telling me that I'm no good, I'm thinking that she is probably drunk when she sends the messages. I have not encouraged this because I have gone NC and as far as I'm concerned this is reinstating my decision to stay away from her. It's not so much what she write in the texts that bother me (they just get glanced at then deleted anyway) - It's why she is still bothering to send them and why they are changing from nice to nasty to pointless essays?. Link to comment
odile Posted March 15, 2009 Share Posted March 15, 2009 She's still sending them because it's driving her nuts that you are ignoring her. She's completely ticked off that you're not letting her have a hold over you any longer, and rather than giving up, she's working herself into a frenzy, and trying anything to garner a response from you. Her emotional response to your non-response is reflected in (and the reason for) the texts going "from nice to nasty to pointless essays". Stay strong, stay NC. Link to comment
LemonCheesecak Posted March 15, 2009 Share Posted March 15, 2009 You've succeeded over the hardest challenge by not rising to it and maintaining NC. Kudos is very much deserved here! Link to comment
jaykay Posted March 16, 2009 Author Share Posted March 16, 2009 Don't they say that the only way to get an ex back is to genuinely move on yourself? To be honest I'm at a funny stage at the moment because I feel that I do want her back, BUT I'm not sure if I actually would take her back - sounds strange?, but I'm realising that it was HER that threw away a 7 year relationship, and she continued to treat me like dirt for a further year whilst I tried to remain friends. Rejection hurts, Alot! along with the fact that I tried everything and she showed absolutely no interest in me. Now I'm reversing the roles by showing no interest in her and she obviously doesn't like it. I think that it is basic psychology and reinstates ALL of the advice given on here, ie, no begging, pleading or appearing desperate and needy - because members of the oppsite sex are NOT ATTRACTED TO WEAKNESS... I also felt that I was never going to make her feel attracted to me by staying in touch and being her friend and focusing on getting her back only kept me from moving on in my own life. Now I'm letting her do the chasing and I will now call the shots and decide if I want to reply. I may be reading too much into the messages but I know her and after being practically ignored for a year, something is definitely up. She is now showing emotion which proves that she is either intrigued by what I'm now doing with my life or plotting to kill me, lol. Link to comment
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