michiru Posted March 12, 2009 Share Posted March 12, 2009 I saw He's Just Not Into You last night. There were 2 women who said if he really loves you, he won't let you go... he'll be there to make things work.. he won't want you to be with someone else. Link to comment
annie24 Posted March 12, 2009 Share Posted March 12, 2009 i dunno, depends. why are you asking? i don't think anything is ever true 100% of the time. Link to comment
KronicMan Posted March 12, 2009 Share Posted March 12, 2009 come on...thats like saying, i saw cinderella last night and they lived happily ever after, does that mean im gonna live happily ever after?? Link to comment
michiru Posted March 12, 2009 Author Share Posted March 12, 2009 come on...thats like saying, i saw cinderella last night and they lived happily ever after, does that mean im gonna live happily ever after?? Nope, not like that at all. The movie (or book) He's just not into you.. it's kinda common sense.. for example, if a guy doesn't call you, then he isn't. Simple as that. Link to comment
brazilgirl21 Posted March 12, 2009 Share Posted March 12, 2009 I don't agree with that either. Life is so much more complex. I guess the thing I do believe is that "people who are meant to be together always find their way back to eachother in the end". That I believe. Link to comment
rosephase Posted March 12, 2009 Share Posted March 12, 2009 If someone truly loves you they want you to be happy. And sometimes that means being with someone else. Sometimes you let go of the people you love, that doesn't mean you don't love them. Link to comment
chasey Posted March 12, 2009 Share Posted March 12, 2009 I think if someone really loves someone else they will be there and try and make things work. Unfortunately sometimes that's not enough and they have to let that person go. Link to comment
ellandroader Posted March 12, 2009 Share Posted March 12, 2009 It's true to an extent but on the spin, if a woman loves a guy, she too will do what she needs to do in the situation. If it involves changing, she will try. If it means getting help, she will do that too. In my experience, when it has become lop-sided, I couldn't stay. The other half needed to show me she could give love and commitment too. Link to comment
agent1607307371 Posted March 12, 2009 Share Posted March 12, 2009 I doubt it. Lots of things trump love. Link to comment
Seymore Posted March 12, 2009 Share Posted March 12, 2009 Nope, not like that at all. The movie (or book) He's just not into you.. it's kinda common sense.. for example, if a guy doesn't call you, then he isn't. Simple as that. I don't care if you saw a movie based on a book by the most well-known psychologist. He or she STILL can't have all the answers. Yes, a guy can let you go if he loves you. The assumption that "if he loves me, he'll never leave" is absurd. Let me ask you - if a girl really loves you, she won't let you go, right? I hope you don't say yes. If you're treating him well, of course, he should never have a reason to. If you're treating the guy like gum on your shoe, there's no reason he shouldn't be able to leave. He could love you until the cows come home, but it doesn't mean he has to take any abuse. By you, I don't mean YOU, btw. Link to comment
Stella Sleepwalks Posted March 12, 2009 Share Posted March 12, 2009 I think it depends on the person.... Some people don't wanna lose face when they have been hurt by their ex before. I can say I fall into that category, as can a lot of other people. Link to comment
alli Posted March 12, 2009 Share Posted March 12, 2009 In a bubble, a guy would not leave someone he really loved. But in real life you get all these other things thrown into the mix. My bf really loves me. But if I started cheating on him, stealing all his money and treating him badly, most people would consider it not-very-smart for him to "never let me go" because he loves me. That would be an extreme case. But things can happen to a lesser extreme that would cause a relationship to not work out even though the two really love each other. Link to comment
odile Posted March 12, 2009 Share Posted March 12, 2009 I doubt it. Lots of things trump love. Oooh, I smell a cynic! Link to comment
shikashika Posted March 12, 2009 Share Posted March 12, 2009 it all depends... there are a million things that could come into it. It's not all black and white. What if the person is living in another hemisphere? Link to comment
odile Posted March 12, 2009 Share Posted March 12, 2009 I think the point isn't about having love (i.e.romantic feelings) for someone, but rather... If a man truly loves you the way that you deserve to be loved, and is worth being in a relationship with, then yes, this: "he won't let you go... he'll be there to make things work"* will be the case. So it's less about love, and more about commitment to love, which is what anyone in a relationship should be able to give/expect. (*which isn't of course to say that those 2 actions alone are enough to determine whether you should be in a relationship with him!) Link to comment
CandyKins Posted March 12, 2009 Share Posted March 12, 2009 Lol didn't see that movie. If a guy really loves you he won't let you go? Well the way I see it is in two ways. If he really loves you and you both are having a complex situation and for him to let you go is the only way to make the future best then yeah for love, because he really loves you then will would let you go. There's this guy with which whom I love so much... things didn't work well between us and during 10 months our relationship was mere. We didn't talk much, kinda like a dead or straved plant. He tells me he loves someone else. Now I'm not sure whether he's saying that to try to get me to confess or something or whether he really means it and is just causally telling me. But I knew that if we were back together then we would only end up hurt each other like before... So for all for the best, I'm glad he's with someone (not really "with" but... yeah) and I feel it in my heart. I even prayed for him and her to have a blessing and strong relation. So yeah... I love him a lot, so much and I let him go. Because it's for the best, I see him and her... together and it seems better and for the best. RIP my dear Ray... just sharing thoughts. Link to comment
Hanyou Posted March 12, 2009 Share Posted March 12, 2009 What if the Man really loves a Woman but she doesn't know how she feels? Doesn't love require you to respect the other choices? I'm in love with my Ex; I would drop anything, quit my job to move half way around the world, give my life for her, protect her with every ounce of my being; ...but if she doesn't want to be with me, hates how "she feels and becomes around me"...I think I have respect the space...let her be happy wherever she can find it; find love in the fact that she could be happier somewhere/with someone else... Link to comment
penelope13 Posted March 12, 2009 Share Posted March 12, 2009 What is your real question/ situation? I mean, I imagine you ask this question because you are wondering about something in your own relationship, am I right? Link to comment
agent1607307371 Posted March 12, 2009 Share Posted March 12, 2009 Oooh, I smell a cynic! Not at all. I just realise that love is fragile and people tend to clomp about pretty heavily with it. Link to comment
waveseer Posted March 12, 2009 Share Posted March 12, 2009 Real love can motivate people to do seemingly unloving things. Letting go is sometimes the only way to manifest the "doing" part of love. Like that old quote, "If you love someone, let them go. If they come back to you then they are yours, and if they don't then they never were." Link to comment
LoveLovelove10 Posted March 12, 2009 Share Posted March 12, 2009 I would say yes for the most part...let me explain. I feel that if someone really loves you they would never let you go unless you did something really bad to hurt them. I feel like love is a magnet and someone draws you in and you are equally drawn to them. This is black and white to me, someone that TRULY loves you would not let you go!!! I can't agree with some of the responses in here. HOWEVER, that said, I believe that for a relationship to truly work, it takes more than just love. There has to be mutual RESPECT and fairness in the relationship, someone has to have the base values that you have. Someone's defintion of "love" for themself or how they were brought up to treat others will and can affect how that person is in relationships. They may say "I love you" or blah blah blah but they might not have ever been shown what real love is and therefore some people I feel are not capable of really loving and it can be confusing to those that truly do know how to. Trust me, you will know it when someone loves you and when you love them and don't take any less!! Link to comment
Day_Walker Posted March 12, 2009 Share Posted March 12, 2009 I would say that is not true, because life is never that simple and people make mistakes. It seems me that you are stating the exception rather than the rule. Link to comment
COtuner Posted March 13, 2009 Share Posted March 13, 2009 I saw He's Just Not Into You last night. There were 2 women who said if he really loves you, he won't let you go... he'll be there to make things work.. he won't want you to be with someone else. Not true. My BF loves me so much it borders on obsession, but he's realizing that we are incompatible. We're trying one more time but it's not going well. Love isn't enough to overcome fundamental differences in what we want from life. Link to comment
odile Posted March 13, 2009 Share Posted March 13, 2009 Not true. My BF loves me so much it borders on obsession, but he's realizing that we are incompatible. We're trying one more time but it's not going well. Love isn't enough to overcome fundamental differences in what we want from life. Oh, but COtuner, the OP didn't ask if those two qualities alone were enough to make the guy a good match for any potential mate. Obviously, you need to be compatible, too. Not to sidetrack too much, but obsessive love (even if there are also true loving feelings mixed in), is more often than not a sign that something in the relationship isn't working. Whether or not it *can* work is up to you to determine. Link to comment
soulmeetsbody Posted March 13, 2009 Share Posted March 13, 2009 It's not true. In my own experience of a mutual breakup, I have willingly let someone I loved go before because I needed to look after myself and sort things out that couldn't be sorted while being in a relationship. Also, I was looking after the person I dumped. Then we got back together and I never regretted the breakup nor getting back together. Sometimes a breakup is the only solution, you need to protect yourself at that moment, protect your happiness at that time, you can't just rely on the hope that things will naturally sort themselves out. Breaks and breakups can be very beneficial, and sometimes absolutely necessary. My parents split up 5 times before getting married. They've been married happily for 25 years after being on-off in their 20s for 5-6 years. Same happened to a lot of my friends' parents. We are broken up now, and I am madly in love with him but I also need to test that love and my own strength. I have never really been single in my life and it's an exciting opportunity. I am protecting MYSELF right now before protecting a relationship that's not working now. Link to comment
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