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It's great to be proven wrong!

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Dear ENA members,



I'm 22 yo, am out to my friends since 2007, came out to parents last Christmas, and broke out of my shyness bubble in January. I have never had a boyfriend.


I had been trying to meet someone by visiting nightclubs and bars, but I realised I wouldn't find my man there. Granted, there are very pretty men there, and some are very nice, but amongst other things, my ideal man wouldn't need alcohol, expensive clothing and loud music to have a good time.


New Algorithm

In January, I gave up on searching in these places, and decided I needed to search the general population around me instead. I took some time to write down a number of characteristics of my ideal man, including physical attraction, healthy lifestyle, similar interests, and no alcohol or loud music. I then forced myself to break out of my shyness bubble, and since then I've just been walking up and chatting to any man I find attractive and then attempting to find out if they are gay or not.


I had been hitting a snag - it seemed that I could only get on well with straight men. The few gay men I've come accross in my search so far, have not been that friendly, and in general difficult to maintain a conversation with. Also, all the men I found extremely attractive and that were easy to talk to, seemed to be straight.


I am happy to report that today, I met someone I had been eyeing over a year ago, that I always assumed would be straight, because I found him so attractive. Under my recent policy of chatting them up, I talked to him a few times over a few days, and today he asked me my name, and I asked him his, and said I'd add him on facebook. (I still didn't know he was gay). I added him, and now I find out he is in fact, gay, and single.


Now, he doesn't seem to be the kind of person I would like to be with for the rest of my life, mainly because of alcohol and loud music, and he smokes (the smell of cigarettes just makes me feel sick), but he does prove me wrong in my original assumption that any man I found absurdly attractive and easy to get to know, has to be straight.


I will most probably never date him, also because I am leaving this part of the world in June, and atm need to focus on my degree, but I am so glad I've been proven wrong!! I am a lot more optimistic now, and my current algorithm is working perfectly! (5 weeks * 5 days a week ~ 25 new men ---> 3 gays, 1 absurdly attractive and friendly). I think this is gonna work!!!!

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Lol, I'm not bothered, I sent him a facebook msg asking him out to see a movie (I didn't get to meet him at school again), and he replied: "i think you may have misread me, im not gay."


It's really annoying though, it makes finding out if someone is gay a lot harder than it had to be...


thanks for caring tho

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lol, he said that his friends must have done it, and he changed it back to "women" now.


@lukeb: i originally thought it would be impossible to find a pretty boy that has a quiet lifestyle like me that also happened to be easy to talk to for the first time, the way i've found it easy to chat up men that turned out to be straight so far. then i thought i had been proven wrong when i met this guy, but turns out he's straight afterall. still looking then, haha!

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