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Hey there guys, as some of you might know... I'm in a long distance relationship of 5,000 Miles! I finally get to see my sweetheart in exactly 4 weeks today!!!!

 

But I have a problem, I'm getting really clingy. I trust my sweetheart and love her unconditionally! She really is the light in my darkness.

 

But I've noticed I've really started getting clingy in this relationship, freaking out that she's busy and not talking as much (she's organising a lot of things right now) and I'm just always freaking out with paranoia! I have NO need to worry. I trust her more than I trust myself! hah! But It's getting to be a pain. I know she must be getting annoyed... because I know my last girlfriend was this clingy to me and it got to me a lot.

 

Can anyone please give some healthy advise on how I can cooldown?

 

I don't mean to be clingy, I trust her, I love her!

 

I just don't want to get on her nerves. Well, thanks guys..

 

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Is the distance a temporarily thing or is it is what it is? If she's going to be that far away, I'd have to ask is a relationship at 17, and 5,000 miles away really worth it/productive/etc?

 

As far as being clingy...in general I just tell people, get out, do your own thing, hobbies, etc.

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Also if you were closer, it would be healthier if your happiness would not be THIS dependent on her. Clinginess can really suffocate relationships, and sort of stop their growth because the other party will at some point want to pull back a bit. So, definitely, work on becoming more independent. I think that a new hobby is a good idea in fact, something that you do just for you, and that has a certain goal in it (i.e. acquiring new skills), but that's also not as serious as school.

 

Do you like sports? Pick something that you can see yourself doing for a long while- it can be really de-motivating to do different things for short periods of time.

 

As for the relation between clinginess and trust... if it's really not about (dis)trusting HER, I think that clinginess is usually related to your self-esteem/anxiety to loose someone. You seem very happy with her, and it's scary to be that happy, in that you have a lot to loose. I think that if you were to pick a hobby that would build your confidence (sports, theater, music...), would not only 'fill up time' that you'd otherwise spend thinking about her, but also sort of lose the need to be obsessed.

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Arwen,

 

Thank you so much for the response. I'll deffinately work on some kind of hobby. You're right, perhaps I should rely on something else for happiness aswell.

 

You're right, I am afraid of losing her although she tells me I won't... which I know in my heart is true..

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Hey Davie.. first off congrats & good on ya for toughing out a long distance relationship. Mine is 9,576 miles apart & started when my bf was 17 also - we've been together 2 yrs now & will be marrying this October... which I'm telling you in the hope it encourages you that despite what people say, it's possible

 

How often do you guys communicate? Here's a few tips that may or may not be helpful: In my own experience, we found it important to sort of give each other a heads up on what our week would be like, so the other person knew how much time to expect & possible interruptions etc so that neither of us were left disappointed or staying up late for no reason when the other person doesn't show up online or call. We also found it important to just be honest & if one was too tired, to give them a break, cos if there's a time diff & you don't get enough sleep you just end up annoyed with each other.

 

At times when I particularly missed Andreas & didn't feel like doing anything other than talking to him, but he was unavailable, I would find things I could make/do for him..such as a song, a poem, or level his World of Warcraft character XD That way I kept myself occupied, got to think of him, & made him smile

 

I agree with arwen though that it's important to make sure your happiness doesn't entirely depend on that person. Too much pressure for both of you.

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