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Not sure what to do...


bullwinkle2008

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I think I have fallen in love with one of my best friends. I will try and keep the back ground info to a minimum to try and keep this post short.

I met this girl a year and a half ago, right after we met we started hanging out a lot, which is really weird for me because normally new people and I do not get along so well so quickly. I was the person she always called when her and her last boyfriend got into fights and after they broke up our friendship got closer, we started hanging out every night, things looked like they could turn into a relationship.

But there were a few problems, her graduating a semester ahead of me and wanted to leave the state after graduation was the biggest. one night we started talking about "us" and during the course of the conversation she ended up in my lap and we ended up making out. the next morning around 6 am I got a text from her appologizing for earlier. I sent her a text what that was supposed to mean...she then responded that we should just go back to the way things were and forget it ever happened.

She left the next week to go to new york for a month, we weren't on the best of terms when she left but she kept calling me from new york. once she got back we tried to go back to the way things were. One night however we were out at a bar with some friends and we are alone talking about something and out of nowhere she comes out with "well what are we going to do about us?" shocked by it I respond "what do you mean us?" (granted I was also highly intoxicated during this conversation). the conversation pretty much turned into her telling me to walk away from her over and over and me responsding with "tell me you don't have feelings for me and I will" (once again god bless the alcohol), only to not get an answer ever (not yes not no...nothing).

after that we stopped talking all the time and would only speak to one another when we happened to be in the same place at the same time. over christmas break I decided that I still wanted her in my life even if it was only as a friend and so we began talking to each other again.

Since we have begun hanging out again I keep getting the feeling that she is interested in me. She is always calling or texting me, keeps wanting to come over to my apartment or wanting me to come to hers (she has been over at my place every night this week). she is always giving me odd looks and doing things to get me to look at her. however, whenever I try to get close to her she seems to get uninterested.

I am just looking for any advice that anyone could give me, I really do think that I have fallen in love with her and I want a relationship with her but I also don't want to ruin our friendship.

 

sorry for its length and any typos...it is currently 4 in the morning

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The friendship is already getting ruined by her "come hither go away" behaviour. She keeps coming on to you and then blowing you off. I would suggest you just ask her about being an official couple and see what she says. If she says yes..great...if she says no then you know that all of the moves she puts on you and all of her looks and phone calls mean absolutely nothing and should be ignored. I would also question being friends with someone who will blow hot and cold like that and play the "come hither go away game". That is a control issue and and ego boost for her. Time to put your foot down on this.

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