Woman's intuition and insecurity

[rbr85]

This is a question for the ladies. Can you sense insecurity in men almost immediately after encountering them even if they don't explicitly say something that would prove them insecure?

 

I know a lot of people reveal themselves to be insecure/needy/clingy over time, but I've come accross occasions where I've had women call me out on such behavior almost immediately and I don't even know how I show it! It's as though I wear it on my face, but how?!?

 

Can you give examples? Is this just a female sixth sense? Do you get "vibes" how do you identify this? Can you offer an explanation for how you could sense such a thing without even really knowing the person?

[StreetlightM]

Have you ever considered...

 

1. some people see insecurity in everyone.

 

2. some people see insecurity in anything.

 

3. people see their own insecurities in others.

 

maybe? I don't know.

[Sparchitecht]

Body language (non-verbal communications), intonation, micro-expressions.

 

Google this stuff and do some reading, there's tons of stuff out there on it, and yes, "you" really will come accross quite quickly if you're giving them enough signals. Many times they're not even aware of what it is they picked up on that made you seem insecure, but that's another story, and what many people end up simply referring to in blanket context as "vibes".

[LAYAAN]

sorry for a detailed reply. This is a question for the ladies. Can you sense insecurity in men almost immediately after encountering them even if they don't explicitly say something that would prove them insecure? I may not be able to tell right away, but I can tell after casually talking with a man 2-3 times.

I know a lot of people reveal themselves to be insecure/needy/clingy over time, but I've come accross occasions where I've had women call me out on such behavior almost immediately and I don't even know how I show it! It's as though I wear it on my face, but how?!? I'm sure you've heard this, some girls just like some men, are serial daters. They like to date, they get dates and they become so experienced that they can tell in 10-15 min of interaction with a man if he is showing the signs of insecurity or signs of weakness that they are trying to avoid.

Can you give examples? Is this just a female sixth sense? Do you get "vibes" how do you identify this? Can you offer an explanation for how you could sense such a thing without even really knowing the person?

example 1) - I was talking (never got to meet) with a man who was going bald. wasn't a big deal to me. I could see that in his photos, I took a note of it and moved on to other important topics. When we used to talk, his interaction was more like "are you really interested in getting to know me?" "are you okay, have you seen my snaps?" He was very busy and had a hectic week so he said "if I paid for your travel, would you come to see me b'coz I don't have time to travel so much." So, I said "okay, thats fine." then he goes "will you certainly come to see me or will you flip back at the last moment?" "I'm so surprised that you agreed to come to see me." You see that? Thats the sign of insecurity.

example 2) I was talking with a man who only had a BS degree. So, he said "PhDs are stupid degrees. They are just wasting their time. I quit PhD and found a job in 2 weeks." "Oh, but I wanted to let you know that I'm working on my MS now." okay, I have not even asked him what degree he has, he started on his own. I didn't ask him why he quit, I didn't ask him what school he went to, nothing. Thats the sign of insecurity to me. Why explain, when you are not even asked to give an explanation? I knew from his profile that he has a BS and I was cool with that.

example 3) I went on a date with a man, who thought he didn't have sufficient money at that time and said to me "I have enough money to keep going for 1 more year. But I'm also looking for a job." Fine with me. This is only 1st date. I don't care about your finances yet. I haven't asked you anything. Even if you dont have a job today, you will find 1 tomorrow or next day. I am cool with that. Why bother saying this to me?

My take on itWhen a guy tries to give me unnecessary/unasked explanation about something, or when he exudes this arrogance/cockiness about a casual remark/conversation, I see it as his weak spot. I see it as his insecurity. Trust me, a not-so-classy woman will push his buttons once she finds out his weak areas. It can be hair, money, education, height, career/profession, degrees, size of you-know-what, anything. Learn to accept yourself first. Certainly work on your weak areas but remember everyone has weak areas. If a girl is okay with it, no need to point out several times that you dont' have 6-pack abs, you think you are too fat/ugly/not-so rich or whatever. Its not lack of something that bothers me in a man. Its his insecurity around that area that makes me not want to date him. Hope this makes sense to you.

[Day_Walker]

Certain qualities can be read by anyone who looks at body language. Of course after a while people know what they have seen in others and know what hints to look for. I wouldnt say that this is just women any person can make these kind of educated guesses as long as they know what to look for

[Sparchitecht]

Certain qualities can be read by anyone who looks at body language. Of course after a while people know what they have seen in others and know what hints to look for. I wouldnt say that this is just women any person can make these kind of educated guesses as long as they know what to look for

 

Good points, Blade. Body language is a major part of all interpersonal communication; not limited to the dating/mating scene and not limited to females.

[epsilon2x]

I almost replied until I read this. You covered everything and more of what I would have said. OP read her post thoroughly.

 

Remember, EVERYONE has insecurities. Chances are, girls won't know that you could once run a mile in 5.5 minutes and now you can only run a 9 minute mile because you're not in shape. If the girl agrees to go out with you, obviously there is nothing you need to cover up for. Just don't voice your insecurities. Better yet, don't talk about random things that seem like you are bragging to cover up insecurities.

[ghost69]

very good post tinu.

[LAYAAN]

thank you