Ok so my ex called....

[Vasichko]

From another post I played the insecure card, my "supplements" helped me lose my temper and I threw a little fit.

 

I didnt call her for one day.

 

She texted me last night and said that she hopes Im ok. I said im doing fine and asked if she was ok.

 

She said she is trying to keeps busy but when she is alone she is lonely and misses me.

 

I called her and said I dont know what she wants out of me. I said Im leaving her alone because I respect her, thats what she asked of me, and I dont wanna push her away.

 

We started to talk about our situation. I said I dont wanna talk about it unless it is making progress to move forward because I dont want us to get emotional and maybe argue and end up saying things we dont mean.

 

I told her out of respect if she could let me do my thing because dragging this on and us talking about us will make things harder for both of us.

 

She said she does miss me a bunch and doesnt know how long it will take her to get over what happened but she will call me when she does. And my outburst is something she doesnt wanna see from someone she wants children with. I said please dont remind me that it was my fault.

 

I said ok, I love her and miss her and if she needs me call. She said the same. I said if you wanna talk about some stuff whenever maybe we could do lunch or chill or something. She said that could be ok.

 

So what do you guys think, I still got a chance of working this out with her?

[chaosa]

Sounds to me like you have a bit of an anger problem. I read your last post about her wanting to break it off. Let me tell you from personal experience that when you lose your temper unreasonably and throw things/kick things, etc., the person your involved with can lose their trust in you. Their trust in you that you won't physically harm them. Even if they know that you won't ever hurt them, deep down they fear it might happen. I would look into controlling that anger of yours and let her have her time alone.

[Vasichko]

Even if she is hitting me up?

[chaosa]

She loves you, obviously. She doesn't want to let go of you completely. I'm just saying that the cycle will continue if you don't work on your anger issues. This is what she is hoping, that you will become less insecure and work on your self control. These things can sometimes destroy a relationship if they aren't addressed. It sounds like she truly wants to come back to you if you make the changes you need to.

[Vasichko]

Yeah the workout supplements that help induce that are in the garbage. I didn't like hearing that she said last night that it's not something she desires to see from a person she wants children with.

 

She said she hopes I have a good day this morning and said she might wanna meet up if that's ok with me depending on her work schedule.

 

It's hard on me because we both agreed last night we know something great would be there if we can get past this.

[chaosa]

Yeah the workout supplements that help induce that are in the garbage. I didn't like hearing that she said last night that it's not something she desires to see from a person she wants children with.

 

She said she hopes I have a good day this morning and said she might wanna meet up if that's ok with me depending on her work schedule.

 

It's hard on me because we both agreed last night we know something great would be there if we can get past this.

 

Keep trying to work through it, but on her terms. When you are not with her just keep focusing on yourself. You will in turn start to be in a better frame of mind. You will not only feel better about yourself, but you will seem a much better catch to her . Good luck.

[Vasichko]

Thanks. I hope it all goes well. It's looking like it might.

[Vasichko]

Wow I dont think that went too well. She insisted on coming over.

 

When she first came in she said give her a hug and dont let go. So finally we started talking and she started crying saying what I did isnt what she wants from someone she wants kids with. She said this is so hard on her. She said I looked really cute. I agreed with what she said and said if I need some outside help to fix it I will. She explained some things and I asked her if when she left me the first time did I fix things she did not like. She said yes and felt like I put alot of effort towards that. I told her see, I messed up but I fixed those things, I can do that now. I might need help but its not my decision if you want to trust me to give me another chance.

 

She explained that when she is usually single that her guy friends always ask her out but now they are asking if she is ok because they know how much she loves me.

 

Then she asked how I know she makes me happy and I explained why and how I felt. She said this is so hard because she loves me so much but is afraid I might have another outburst. She said she wanted to move on. Then later she said she didnt know what she was gonna do because she cant picture herself in another man's arms. She cant picture herself loving someone as much as me. She said she wish she had a time machine so she could fix it or wake up one day and have all this be fixed. I told her well maybe she should move on. Then she asked what if one day she got over it in the future and called me. I told her I would want to be with her but if it took dating someone else I dont think it should take that. She said she cant because she did that when we split the first time and she doesnt wanna date someone when I have her heart.

 

We were laying on my bed and i started scratching her back, and when I quit she asked me to keep doing it because my hands were warm. She said she wanted to kiss me but we both agreed it would make things harder. She might be moving to Canada and she said she is undecided. I asked well obviously your parents are displeased with me. She said if she stays and wants to be with me, it is her life not theirs.

 

So after some seriousness I started joking with her and made her laugh. She had to leave to have dinner with her parents and she explained she just wanted to be by herself to think about this. Its very hard. I said yeah it was. I asked why she "needed" to stop by and she said because she misses me.

 

When she left she said she loved me. I had to leave as well and the whole time at the stop light she was glancing my way. When we left the light she threw up the sign language for "I love you" at me.

 

This is driving me nuts!!!